Chapter 6Title: Hard Times for Spike and Xan
Author: WarpedMindedYaoi & NightmareAhead
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Summary: Xander and Spike's lives spin out of control, how do they fix it?
Warning: male/male sex
Disclaimer: I don’t own
Note: This is a role-play between WarpedMindedYaoi and NightmareAhead. In this one, Warped plays Spike and Nightmare plays Xander (its usually the opposite). This was also Nightmare’s first rp EVER.
*Beep* *Beep* *Be-Slam*
Xander withdrew his hand from the alarm clock and checked the time. 6:00am, time to get up and get ready for work, oh joy. He was about to sit up when he noticed that someone was holding his hand. Looking over, he saw that it was Spike. 'He held my hand while we slept? Awww' Disentangling his hand from the vampires, he got up and went to take a shower. He had dried cum all over him and it itched. While scratching away the cum and waiting for the shower to warm up, he realized something. 'Spike saw me covered in my own cum... oh boy.' Not having time to freak out, he pushed the thought into the back of his mind.
After he finished showering and getting ready, he paused by the bed. Looking down at the vampire sleeping there, he felt a tug at his heart. 'I don’t want to go to work. I want to stay in bed with him.' But knowing that he had to go, he leaned down and kissed his forehead while softly stroking his hair. Not wanting to wake the sleeping beauty, he whispered, "I have to go to work, Spike, but I'll be home as soon as I can." After kissing the forehead once again, he turned and made his way into the kitchen. He wrote a note for Spike, in case he didn’t remember he had to go to work, and walked out the door. Missing his vampire already.
Spike turned over in his sleep, snuggling deeper into the pillows and blankets that smelled like Xander. He shuffled around a little and ended up under the covers with only a little bit of his bleached blonde hair poking out from under them. Spike frowned and twitched in his sleep, the current dream wasn't really a dream, it was a damn nightmare. He was re-living the time he spent in the initiative.
Spike looked up at the sound of someone opening his cell. His own eyes were sad as they drooped slightly, his skin a ghastly grey pale color, and he was hungry as hell, his ribs showing through. He gave a sad groan when Dr. Welsh walked into his cell compartment and smiled at him, "Hostile 17, we are gonna take you somewhere today. You’re our special vamp for our testing... let's just pray you live through it." She lifted up her clipboard and wrote something on it, then walked out. He thought that was it, until two big guard workers walked in, one with a needle and syringe, and the other with ropes.
'I have to live through this,' he weakly fought back, they hadn't been giving him blood often, and he couldn't find the strength to do anything, he was too nervous that the blood they give them was poisoned or something. Spike felt the needle go into his neck and he saw blackness.
He didn't know when he woke up, but when he did, he regretted it and wanted to be back under. The pain was unbearable, he could feel them digging into his head, talking and laughing about whatever was going on in their lives. He tried to tell them he could feel everything, but he could move any part of his body, almost like he was paralyzed, but thankfully, he passed out from the shock.
He woke up again in his cell, against the wall. A doctor was standing waiting for him, and opened it, and pushed in a human, then fell to the floor instantly, and Spike dove for them and was about to bite when his body seized up and he cried out in agony, something in his head was doing this to him and he fell back on the ground cursing and clutching his head. "What the fuck!!" He screamed. After 10 minutes the pain was gone, and now just a dull throb, when he opened his eyes he saw the human was gone and no one was there.
Through the week they kept testing him, making sure the 'chip' still worked, as they called it. One day, finally Spike broke out, and was free of them, of the rape, the pain, the starving.'
Spike gasped as he shot up from the bed and gasped looking around with wide scared eyes, terrified the dream was real. He was shaking when he noticed Xander was gone,
"Pet?" He called out, climbing out of the bed slowly and going to the kitchen. That was when he saw the note and he read it. "Bloody hell. I forgot that he had to work."
He grabbed a mug of blood and sat at the table. When he was done with that he sat down on the couch and turned on the tv to start watching Harry Potter, the only bloody thing on.
Xander was having a hard time concentrating at work. He felt like something was wrong. His boss finally noticed he wasn’t all there and told him to take the rest of the day off. After thanking him, he dashed to his car, having to get home as fast as possible.
Once parked in the parking lot of his apartment building he looked up to the window of his own apartment. 'Windows are intact, curtains still closed. Alex, you feeling this too?'
'Yea' Alexander answered, 'Want me to do something?'
After considering this for a moment Xander replied, 'No. I'm sure its nothing.'
He quickly made his way up to his door and unlocked it. Preparing himself, for what, he didn’t know, and carefully opened the door. Stepping inside and shutting the door, he took survey of the room. 'Everything looks fine.' Moving further into his home he called out to his love. "Spike? Baby?"
Spike swallowed, his elbows were on his knees and his head was in his hands, "I... was so scared. I am never bloody scared! I am the Big Bad." He sighed, shaking his head, he looked up at Xander with sad bright blue eyes, "I woke up and you weren't there. It was a bloody nightmare that had me terrified and I thought you left or were taken. Then I saw the note saying you were at work," he took a small, unneeded breath, "I was so relieved you weren't hurt or anything. I would have gone crazy trying to find you somehow, and save you."
He got up and walked over to Xander and pulled him into a tight hug, smelling him deeply, bringing himself to believe this wasn't a beautiful dream. Xander's musky scent brought Spike back to reality, almost like an anchor, which he was very thankful for. "I love ya, Xan. I have cared for you, for so bloody long. And now I have you..." he whispered, "Now I have you..." He nuzzled Xander's neck tenderly, almost like a lost kitten.
The look in Spikes eyes broke Xander's heart. 'I should never have gone to work, dammit.'
He held Spike as tight as he could nuzzling his face into the vampires head. "Spike, I'm here, don’t worry. I'm here and I'm ok. Not hurt or anything." He kissed his head and with his face still buried in the bleached locks, he said, "I love you too, Spike. And you being upset like this is breaking my heart. Do you wanna talk about it? It might make you feel better." Trying to calm down the man in his arms, he started to sway them back and forth, hoping the gentle rocking will sooth Spike.
Spike shook his head, "I really don't know if I can talk about it. It was about the initiative though. Are... you still able to bring Alexander out? Cause I don't want to talk about it, I feel to proud, but... William will talk to Alexander for me." He looked into Xander's eyes with a unsure look. "If you don't want to... I don't mind. I just, think it would be easier," he sighed, looking down.
Before Xander had a chance, Alex said, 'I can do that.'
Xander sighed in his head, 'I figured that, I just think it would be better for Spike to talk about it himself. Don’t you think?'
There was a slight pause before Alex answered, 'It probably would... just good luck getting him to do it.'
'I'll be able to,' Xander said, determined, 'It will help him get over this. It might not happen today, but I will get him to talk about it.'
Holding Spike back a little so their eyes could meet, Xander brought up his thought. "I think it would be better for you if you talked about this yourself. I want to help you move past this, Sweetheart, and I really think having William talk about it won’t help you. We don’t have to talk about it today, but you have to someday if you want to forget about this."
Spike swallowed looking away from Xander, "It will talk a long time." He sighed, moving from Xander and sat down slowly onto the couch, trying to get his emotions in control.
"Bloody hell, pet! Why do you have to be such a bloody White Knight?" he cursed, standing up and walking to their room and slamming the door. His eyes glowed yellow as he vamped out and locked the door, then turned around and viciously kicked the bed, knowing it wouldn't cause any damage to Xander's house. His hands reached up and gripped at his hair, he was so tempted to rip it out. He had to calm down for Xander, he had to.
Spike stayed locked up in the room for the next couple hours, refusing to eat, drink, or talk. He just lay in the bed staring at the ceiling.
When Xander realized Spike wasn’t going to come out on his own, he went down and got his tool belt from his truck. He was really worried about his vampire and he didn’t think he should deal with this on his own. He was sitting on the couch staring at the TV, even though it wasn’t on, when Alex suggested taking off the knob of the door. Hence, why he had gotten his tool belt.
Once back in the apartment he gave Spike one more chance to open the door on his own. Not receiving an answer, he set about to remove the doorknob. 'Finally' the thought, when the knob was off. Cautiously, he entered the bedroom.
Spike heard the doorknob being taken off, and when the door opened he turned his head away from Xander, "I knew you would do that, or something like that." He sighed. His head hurt, and so did his heart, if he even had one.
'I am just like those bloody stupid guards and doctors, I tortured things that weren't like me. I tortured humans, like they tortured demons.'
"I am just, fucking, like them!" he yelled, his chest heaving from the anger and sadness. "Xan, how can you care about me? All the gross things I have done. I've used and killed so many people. I am just like them," he whispered.
'I think its time for some tough love, Xan. You think you can do it?' Alex asked.
'Of course I can. Its for Spike.'
He folded his arms over his chest and glared at the vampire. "Are you honestly that’s stupid? You're nothing like them, Spike! You're a fucking demon! It was your job to do that shit. The guys who did that to you? They still had their souls and they didn’t have a demon! They are so much more worse then you, Spike. Plus, you're not like that anymore are you? Now you know better. I'm willing to bet my life on the fact that when you get that chip out, you'll still be the guy I fell in love with. You'll never go back to being William the Bloody, no matter how much you try to tell yourself you will. And do you honestly think I could fall madly in love with a monster?! Do you think I'm that stupid?!" He finished, panting hard. He just hoped he didn’t go too far.
"Oh, and another thing. Don’t EVER lock me out! We deal with things together! Do you hear me?"
Spike couldn't help but flinch when Xander yelled at him, he was sitting up, and he looked down. He felt worthless, he made his love yell at him. "I'm sorry..." he whimpered covering his head. "Just... don't yell at me anymore. I'm sorry!" he gasped, reaching up and feeling tears roll down his cheeks. "O-of course I wouldn't ever change back to William the Bloody, but.., I also don't want to be worthless! I am nothing to your friends. I want... to have my own bloody friends, some friends that want to talk about whatever! I have you, but I don't want to bore you will all my stuff I may have told you before. I want to have small get togethers with my own little group, not just with Slutty, a-and Riley," he spat the name like it was nothing but poison. He stood and breathed heavily, not even sure what he said made any sense. The tears on his cheeks were glittering brightly from the lamp in the corner. "I am scared to tell you, I don't want you to know the torture..."
Xander went and made Spike lay down on the bed, then cuddled up with him. "I didn’t mean to upset you, Baby. I just wanted you to understand how serious I was. You're not worthless, Spike. Not even close. You mean the world to me. More than the world! More than anything there ever was or will be! Dawnie's your friend, right? I don’t want you talking to her about certain things, but you’re her friend. And she loves you too. You know that you can talk to me about anything, right? It doesn’t matter what it is, I'm always willing to listen. And I will never judge you, Spike. You’re a different person now, so what you did back then doesn’t matter to me."
The group of friends that Spike wanted was a bit of challenge. 'Oh yea,' "Don’t they have a poker game in the back of Willie's once a week? You could go to that and make some friends." He tried to sound more enthusiastic then he felt.
Spike let out a sad laugh, "Yeah, but I am tired of playing for kittens. I am starting to like them." His teeth clenched as he let out a slow shaky breath. "I feel so open, ya know? I feel like you are looking at me from the inside out. Making me feel all the pain, and the pleasure of loving you," he admitted. His eyes looked over at Xander, "You’re changing me more everyday. You mean so much to me it is killing me on the inside. I haven't loved anyone this much. Not Dru, not Buffy, no one... You’re different... you’re special."
He gently lifted Xander's head to look into his eyes and he captured Xander's lips in a deep passionate kiss, a kiss that left anyone's toes curled, their breath knocked out of them by the intensity of it. Spike broke the kiss.
"I am in fucking love with you Xander Harris," he panted as he kissed him again, this time not breaking the kiss.
'God, I love this man,' Xander thought.
He was starting to feel lightheaded from the lack of oxygen, so regretfully, he pulled back. Panting hard, "Spike. Fuck I love you too, Baby." He started to pepper kisses down Spikes neck. He paused every now and then to say, "Never loved" kiss "anyone as much" kiss "as you." kiss "Didn’t even think" kiss "it was possible to" kiss "love someone this fucking much." kiss.
Spike was biting his lip, his eyes closed, then he opened them and looked at Xander, "Do... you want me to show you how much I love you?" He gasped, pushing Xan back on the bed and crawling over him, taking off his and his brunette lover's shirts, and he started kissing down Xander's body.
"You smell so good. A male musky scent, plus lemon, and..." Spike took a deep breath, "And...me," he panted, his eyes changing yellow even as his whole face didn't change and he started sucking on one of Xander's nipples, making pebble before doing the same to the other.
"God yes!" When Spike started to suck on his nipple he thought he was going to melt. His back was arched at a sharp angle, hands tangled in the vampire’s hair. He was instantly hard as a rock. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!" He could barley think, Spike was doing wonderful things with his tongue and teeth.
"Spike.. Guhh.. What about waiting?" he couldn’t believe he was asking this but he didn’t want their first time to be just because Spike was over emotional.
Spike pulled back, looking very disheveled, he was looking at Xander with a 'why now' look. But he sat back and raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to wait pet? I am not too keen on another wank in the bathroom. I just didn't want to have our first time fast, until I knew we both cared about each other a lot. And, we do. We love each other. We know everything about each other already." He chuckled, "Remember? I lived with you in your basement most of the time, I was tied down, listening to you." He smiled.
'Shit, he could hear me back then?!' Xander shook his head, trying to get things in order. "I want to, Spike. God, do I want to! But... I'm..." He looked down and mumble the last part as soft as he could, "...scared"
He trusted Spike to make it feel good and to take care of him, but he was still scared. He couldn’t help it. This was totally different from sex with a girl. Plus, he's never done anything with someone who meant this much to him, mainly because no one ever had.
Spike looked at Xander, his eyes full of love, "Xander, we can take it slow, just tell me to." He gently kissed a spot over Xander's heart. He laid his body over Xan's so his cock was pressed against his lover's hip, and his love's cock was against his hip. "I will do anything. You can bottom the first time to get comfortable, and I can explain to you how, and then you will know what I am gonna do to you," he soothed, reaching up and running his fingers through Xander's silky brown hair.
"Ok, Spike. I trust you." He leaned in and kissed Spike with as much love as he could. Wrapping his arms around Spike's back, one hand running up and down his spin, the other in his hair, making sure Spike stayed right here. He could feel their nipples rubbing against each other’s, both sets hard. He could feel pre-cum pouring out of his cock. He felt like he could explode just from this. "Shit, Spike." He moved his mouth back to the vampire’s neck and started to kiss it once again, knowing how much Spike liked it. With an evil smirk, he started to add little nips to the kisses.
Spike moaned as he shivered over Xander's body, he shifted his body so his cock rubbed against his loves. "Ooh, so good pet. You know me so well," he sighed as his hand moved down and gently grasped Xander's leaking cock, and held it at the base so Xander can't cum too soon. "Want you to stay and play," he purred into Xan's ear. He could feel the pleasure building up his spine but he refused to take it any faster. "Do you want to just get off with me like this and we can make love during the weekend where we won't have to get out of bed?" He gave Xander and smirk.
He gasped as Spike took hold of his cock, even if it was through his pants. "Spike, please, please let me cum. Fuck. Need to." He was going to think about Spike's question, but all his blood was in the brain in his pants.
"Like this, Spike. Fuck! Baby, Sweetheart, Beautiful. Ughh. More." He was so close! About to go over the edge and wanting Spike with him, Xander bit hard at Spike's neck. Drawing blood.
Spike let out a roar, vamping out as Xander bit his neck and he ripped off his pants and Xander's so fast it wouldn't have been able to be seen by the naked eye. He wrapped his hand around both his and Xander's cocks, "Fuck, babe. Xan. Nggh." His head laid forward against Xander's as he moaned loudly and thrust into his hand, his cock slipping against Xan's hard. "Please... cum... with... me." He roared again as he came hard all over them, "Xan!"
The cum shot through Xander’s cock, harder than ever, he held on to Spike as hard as he could. He felt like he was going to float away. Once his orgasm was finally over, he lay there, boneless and panting. No longer having any strength left in him, his arms slipped from around his vampire, falling uselessly to his sides. Slowly, he started to regain his breath. That was when he felt the wetness on his face. 'Am I crying?'
Spike groaned as he watched Xander cum, "Bloody hell, Xan... that was amazing. I mean it. You... look perfect, and to believe I caused that, is just unbelievable," he sighed softly, kissing the side of Xander's head. "You’re so handsome, and so mine," he purred.
He reached over and grabbed a towel and wiped the cum off of both of them before it dried. He reached up and gently wiped away Xander's tears, and then wiped away a few that escaped from under his eyelashes. "Your so perfect."
Xander didn’t know what to say to Spike. It was too much. Too perfect.
"I feel the same way about you, Baby." He pulled Spike into his arms, holding him tightly. "I love you so much."
He kissed the bit mark on Spikes shoulder. "I'm kinda mad that that’s gonna be gone by the morning. Want to leave my mark on you. That way people will know that you are mine," he giggled at the thought of owning the vampire.
He placed his teeth over the mark and pretended to growl. It was a pathetic attempt, but he thought it was still funny.
Spike couldn't help it, he started giggling and he fell over onto his side and clutched his stomach, as he laughed hard. "Oh... Xan, pet! That is just too much. You are so cute." He giggled, acting nothing like a vampire would. "I'm sorry." He looked down and gave a sad smile, and stopped giggling, afraid Xander thought it would be too weird for a vampire to laugh like that. He still had a smile on his face though.
"You should laugh like that more often. Its cute."
Deciding he didn’t want to wait for the next time Spike might laugh, Xander set out to do it himself. He quickly rolled on top of Spike, sitting on his thighs and using his hands to pin his shoulders to the bed. Looking down into the vampires eyes, he put an 'evil face'. Baring his teeth, his 'fangs', he started to growl once again. "You don’t get to laugh at me! I'm the Big Bad!"
Spike couldn't help but laugh again, his giggles loud as he watched Xander, "You’re too cute!" He grinned leaning up and gently kissing Xander's lips. "Thank you. You make me feel like I am actually wanted." He let out a deep sigh and wrapped an arm around Xander's shoulder's. "Also… if you were a vampire, you would be so hot." He growled.
"Of course you’re wanted, silly. You are mine, right?" He leaned down and kissed Spike's lips, ending by biting the bottom one and pulling it a little. "You bet your ass I would be a hot vamp. I'm me aren’t I?"
'It's kinda fun playing the cocky one.' Xander grinned to himself. "So. Bed now? Meaning sleep?"
Spike groaned quietly to himself when Xander became assertive, and nodded, "Yeah pet. We better get to bed." He smiled kissing Xan one more time before laying back comfortably, and snuggling close to Xander, "Don't leave before I wake up, please? You will keep me safe," he whispered softly as he fell asleep.
Xander quickly fell asleep, with Spike in his arms.
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