Author: WarpedMindedYaoi & NightmareAhead
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Summary: Xander and Spike's lives spin out of control. How do they fix it?
Disclaimer: I don’t own
Note: This is a role-play between WarpedMindedYaoi and NightmareAhead. In this one, Warped plays Spike and Nightmare plays Xander (its usually the opposite). This was also Nightmare’s first rp EVER.
A couple hours later, Spike woke up with a sigh. His brows furrowed when he felt the slight pain in his back end and clenched a little, then smiled. He wasn't sure Xander knew, but what Alex did, proved the demon that he was worthy. He let out a relieved sigh and turned around so he could face his love. Spike watched Xander's peaceful face, before leaning forward and pressing a tender kiss to the slightly slack lips, "Love ya, pet. Your soldier Alex did it, he did." He nuzzled the stubbly cheek and let out a sigh, "Perfect, pet, so perfect," he purred gently.
"Mmmm. My kitty" Xander mumbled. Slowly waking to the feel of Spike nuzzling his cheek and purring. He started to nuzzle back and fake purring so he could let Spike know how much he loved this. "I'm guessing it worked, huh? Come on. We need to shower, then go to your crypt and get your stuff if you still want to move in." He got up off the bed and walked into the bathroom while talking. He turned on the shower to warm it up while he was shaving.
Spike let out a sigh, and stretched on the bed before jumping up from the bed and following Xander to the bathroom.
He watched Xan shave and leaned against the door jam. "Ya know pet. I watched what they did last night. I was curious to see what it would look like for you to take me, and I got to say... that was bloody hot." he grinned and walked up to Xander and kissed the side of his neck, "It's sad that they had sex before we did though." he pretended to pout, then snorted, "Did you know I was a virgin when I was turned? I didn't realize how sexually frustrated I was ‘til I woke up a vamp." He chuckled, as he looked at Xander in the mirror, a little sad that he wouldn't be able to see them together like this.
Shocked, Xander looked into the mirror where Spike's eyes would be. "You watched them?! That’s sick, Spike!" He would never admit it, but he was a little upset that Spike would watch his body when it wasn’t him in control.
Done shaving, he tested the water of the shower and climbed in. He started to wash his body, not waiting for Spike to join him.
'I understand why he would want to watch but... its just wrong' he was talking to Alex, hoping to get some insight to why he felt so betrayed.
'Why do you think its wrong? It was your body.' Alex knew why Xander was upset but he wanted the boy to figure it out on his own.
'Yea but it wasn’t me! It was you! And now it wont feel like the first time when we finally do something because he'll have already seen it!' He was so focused on the conversation going on in his mind that he didn’t know what was going on outside of it. He had stopped washing his body and his arms where now by his side, fists clenched. Head down and staring at his feet, his body radiated tension.
'Xan, he’s a demon, he doesn’t really think about stuff like that.'
'Yea, but he's been around humans long enough that he should have known what I would think!'
Spike could see that Xander wasn't happy. He could feel the frustration and slight anger in Xander, but he didn't want to say anything to make him mad. He opened his mouth to say something but he shut it, and his teeth grinded together.
'It wasn't sick... was it? I just, wanted to know what it would look like if Xander made love to me. I knew it wasn't me, and I didn't imagine it that way, I just wanted to know what it looked like... and now he is angry at me.'
'Spike, I don't know what to tell you. I mean... he might just feel betrayed that you would watch that, when it wasn't Xander in control.'
'Yeah, but... I wasn't in control either, so it wasn't me!'
Spike looked at Xander and sighed, "I'm sorry pet. Didn't know it would upset you." He moved and sat on the toilet, not taking a chance to get in the shower with Xan when he was like this.
Xander heard what Spike said, just chose not to respond. If he opened his mouth he would say something he would regret later. He didn’t want to fight with Spike, he still loved him, he was just really pissed at him. Like Willow always to him and Jesse, 'If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.'
He finished in the shower, but left it on for Spike. Grabbing a towel as he walked back into the bedroom he ignored the vampire. He didn’t pay too much attention as he quickly dressed and walked back into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Once done, and still refusing to look to the side of the bathroom where the vampire was, he said, "When you’re done, go get your stuff. I'm gonna go see if Giles know the name of the demon." He knew he could easily call Giles but he felt the need to get out of the house and away from Spike. With that, he turned and left the apartment, heading toward Giles's.
Spike couldn't swallow; he was actually terrified that Xander would never forgive him. He continued to stare at the open doorway, he couldn't move, he felt numb. "Xan?" He whispered, almost whimpered. He sadly walked into the shower and started washing his body, not really caring if he got cleaned or not. When he was done he got out of the shower and dried off, not bothering to do his hair, he just let it stick out on its own, the curls tight together, but yet silky soft.
'He doesn't want me...'
'Don't say that... he does too!' William cried.
'No, no. All I would ever do is make him upset. I'm not good for him. He deserves better.'
'You will find out on your own then.'
Spike put on his clothes and looked at his duster, then set it in the middle of the bed and left by the sewers to his crypt. Then spent his time just hiding in it, away from Xander, away from everything.
He realized how hungry he was a couple hours later, as he was looking around for some blood in the crypt. Eventually he climbed onto his bed and stared at the ceiling, "Why?" He croaked.
Xander returned to the apartment an hour and a half later, having stayed and talked to Giles for a while. Not about Spike, just about life and whatever came to mind. He managed to bring up the topic of the name of the demon without Giles getting suspicious; it wouldn’t be good if he found out what they wanted to do. On the walk home he realized that Spike really didn’t mean to do anything wrong and that he was over-reacting.
Once he shut the door he noticed how quite the place was. And there was the fact that there was nothing new around. "Spike? Where’s your stuff? Did you even go yet?" he called out. Not receiving an answer, he started to panic.
'He doesn’t have that much stuff. It shouldn’t take him this long.'
'Maybe he’s just asleep.' Alex injected.
Rushing to the bedroom, he gasped as all of the air in his lungs left him at the site before him. He collapsed to the floor, completely lost. 'He left his duster' was the only thought running through his head.
Alex knew he had to get Xander up so he mentally slapped him. 'Get up, Xan! He's probably at his crypt. Just go get him.'
'Right. Crypt.' Numbly, Xander stood up and turned to leave. He paused and looked back at the duster lying alone on the bed. Their bed. He grabbed it and put it on. Sure it was a bit tight, but he didn’t care.
He ran into the night, hands in the pockets of the duster. One playing with the dagger and the other playing with Spike's zippo.
He was almost to his crypt when he was jumped from behind. Falling to the ground he rolled and looked at his assailant. A simple fledge. He could handle this.
Pulling the steak out of the back of his pants, he advanced on the fledge. A brief tussle ensued, where the fledge managed to knock the steak from his hands.
Not knowing what else to do, he pulled out Spike's dagger. He was doing pretty good until the fledge tripped him. Dazed, he let go of the dagger, which the vampire then took.
With a smirk, the fledge plunged the knife into Xander’s gut once he had been able to get up.
Feeling the shark pain, he froze.
'X-Xan?' Alex knew what had just happened and was scared.
'I... I just got stabbed,' was Xander’s reply.
The vampire withdrew the knife and threw it to the ground. He was about to bite Xander when he suddenly took off running.
Still not believing what happened, Xander put a hand to the spot that hurt. Pulling it away, he saw blood, lots of blood.
Now weak from shock and blood-loss, he dropped to his knees. He started to laugh when he realized the only thought going through his head was 'Spikes gonna be so mad and upset. I think I ruined his duster.'
Spike laid there for a while, just thinking. 'You know.. .he would have shown up, no matter what. You know how he is,' Spike nodded to himself, "Yeah I know. Wonder why he isn't here yet." He sighed, then stood up and walked out of the crypt, deciding to go look for Xander.
He smelled something, blood, but... he also smelled...
"Xander!" he yelled running to the figure that was on his knees, "Xan... Oh god." He lifted his brunette lover up, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I thought you hated me and wanted me to leave." He gasped, running over to the Magic Box.
"You’re... wearing my duster." He whispered, and then gave a teary smile, "You love me... You can't leave me, I will move my stuff in, but you have to get better." He commanded, in a sad tone.
"Bloody buggerin' hell! Giles! Get your fucking ass out here and help our boy!" he roared.
Xander could tell that he was in someone's arms and that they were moving, but other than that all he knew was pain. He heard getting stabbed hurt like a bitch, but this was ridiculous.
Feeling blood well up in his throat, he turned away from the body holding him and coughed. He knew it was bad when blood was coming out of your mouth.
'Well... this sucks,' was all he could think to say to Alex, who was scared silent.
He coughed once again, this time harder, and hissed at the pain it cause him. He could tell that blood was pouring from the wound and was dropping to the floor. Also on the person holding him, which made him feel bad.
Wanting to know just how bad the situation was, he opened his eyes. What he saw cause a smile to form, even through the pain. Spike.
"Hey" he wheezed out. "This hurts… a lot more than I thought it ever… would," he chuckled at the fact that he was trying to comfort Spike while he was the one dying. "Sorry about… the duster."
Spike felt the tears rolling down his cheeks as he reached up and brushed some of Xander's hair back, "Don't you worry about that duster, you mean more to me than that stupid thing. Please... hang on. We are gonna help you." He held tightly onto Xander's hand and kissed it softly, "Just don't forget that I love you so much. I was just scared you were gonna leave me eventually." He wiped some of the blood off of Xander's face, but it didn't really help because Xander would cough more, just getting blood everywhere.
Giles couldn't help but stare in shock, "Xander... No..." He was denying the site before him, not believing one bit that the boy he thought of like a son was dying before him.
"Giles!" Spike screamed, getting the older man's attention. "Help him." He begged through tears.
Giles started opening his books and looking through them, "Oh! Here... it says that blood of a loved one could heal a fatal wound. Just... use the dagger that wounded the loved one, and cut yourself enough to douse the wound in your blood. But, oh dear..."
Spike's eyes widened, "Oh dear what? What watcher?!?" He growled.
"Spike... with as much blood that you have to cover your loved one in... you will probably die."
"No... you can feed me bags of blood while I do that." Spike was shaking. "Watch him while I go find the dagger." He ran out of the building and down to where he found his brunette lover. Thankfully he saw the dagger on the ground, and picked it up, then ran back to the shop. "Xander, your gonna make it," he gave a sad laugh, kissing his lover on the lips, not caring about the blood there. "Alright Giles, cut me, and feed me." He was shaking as he looked down at Xander, his eyes full of love, "Please, hold on for me." He begged Xander.
Being able to feel your heart slow down was terrifying. Each beat came slower than the last as your body was getting colder and colder. Vision growing darker and darker. Wondering if this beat would be the last.
He thought of Spike. Of all the things they would never get to do. Make love. Go on a date. Celebrate a holiday...
It was upsetting, how many things he could think of that will never happen now.
There was a moment of panic at never being able to see Spike again because he was a demon and would end up in hell. But he was sure he was going to heaven and it would never be heaven without Spike there by his side. Even if he had to wait centuries for Spike to join him.
Giles grabbed Spikes arm and cut into it, cutting it so deep it made Spike vamp out in pain, "Bloody hell. Fuck! That really hurt!" His arm was bleeding profusely as he shakily held it over Xander's wound. Giles started to say the chant. When the chant was done he started feeding Spike the bags of blood, which he drank like a starved man. After 10 bags of blood he looked down to see Xan's wound was healing, slowly but it was healing.
"X-Xan?" He leaned down and looked at his lover.
He died. Xander had died and gone... somewhere, but was thrown back. His body hurt all over and he was panting for breath. One hand, shaking violently, reached for the wound. It was wet and sticky from blood, but healed. There was a long rise in the skin that he assumed was a scar.
Even after he caught his breath he continued to pant, more like hyperventilating now. He hurt, he didn't know why, but his entire body was pulsing in pain. The sound of his heart was loud in his ears and made him want to scream.
'Fuck! I'm in hell! What did I do to get here!?'
Spike didn't know what to do, Xander was breathing waaay too deeply right now,
"Xan?!" He used his hand that was clean of blood and tried to hold Xander close.
Giles wrapped lots of gauze around Spikes arm to stop the bleeding.
"Giles... can you get a cloth wet and wipe the blood up on us."
Giles nodded and left to get one, and came back, starting to wipe up the blood off of Xander's body, then Spike took it and did it himself, cleaning the rest of Xander, and then started on himself.
"Xan? Come back to me." He said calmly as he held Xander's head in his hands.
'Spike?' He could hear Spike's voice but he couldn’t open his eyes and he was in too much pain to move.
"Ssspike?... Hell... Mistake... Hell" he croaked out through his dry throat, trying to explain to Spike that there was a mistake and he was in Hell.
It felt like it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Risking the pain, he moved his hands to his chest and throat, trying to remove whatever was on his chest that was preventing him from the air he needed.
Encountering nothing, he began to claw at his skin, thinking if he got rid of that, he would be able to breath again.
He started to scream and thrash from the pain pulsing through him and the panic of not getting enough air.
"Stop! Make it stop! Kill ME!!!" he shrieked out.
Spike was confused, "No... Xan. You’re here. You’re in the Magic Box." He tried to get through to Xander, and all of a sudden there was his lover trying to tear off his own skin. "No!" he yelled holding the hands down.
He looked at Xander closely, and used one hand to slap Xander's face, hoping to bring him out of this. "Please! You’re not in hell!" he yelled, tears still in his eyes.
Spike said he wasn’t in Hell? Normally, he would trust Spike with his life, but this time he wasn't so sure he was right. If this wasn’t Hell, then what was it?
'It's your body preparing for me.' came a strange voice from behind him.
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