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You know they're doin' it
Romancing The Stone 
3rd-Jun-2009 09:17 am
Title: Romancing The Stone (Apologies to Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner)
Warnings: HAU, M/M sex, violence, swearing, possible humor, blatant use of movie misquotes, OOC, varying chapter lengths. UNBETA'D
Rating:Overall NC17 Individual Chapters PG to NC17
Pairing: 100% S/X (Is there any other?)
Author: Naughty_Fae
Comments: Comment if you want to, though it would be nice to know someone is reading it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to someone who is not me. I write for fun not profit.

Note 1: This was written for the Film challenge on Ultimate_Xander

Note2: This follows the general plot of the film with a few important deviations!

Note 3: My heartfelt thanks go out to my dear friend Bmblbee, for kicking me up the ass into writing this and holding my hand through the writing and posting process. Without her it would never have been written. *Hugs*

Summary: Alexander Harris is a highly successful author of romantic novels under the pen name Xander Harris. His stories have a twist, his hero is a 500 year old, ensouled vampire called Angel and the love interest is always male. Shy and retiring he lives a quiet, orderly life in the town of Sunnydale where he was born and raised. In contrast his younger step brother Lindsey McDonald lives an exciting life traveling the world and lurching from crisis to crisis. When Lindsey lands in a spot of bother Xander's money can't solve, it's up to Xander to launch a rescue mission. Along the way he meets the handsome, roguish, soldier of fortune William Stone. Question is, is it the best or worst thing to ever happen to him?

Chapter 2/20

Rating:NC17 overall

Exhausted, Xander had fallen asleep on the sofa, his glass of Scotch untouched. Anya had eaten her salmon and then made herself comfortable curled on his chest.

He jerked awake as the telephone rang and the tinny tones of 'Waltzing Matilada' filled the room. He fumbled for the cordless phone and jammed it to his ear.

"What?" He snapped. "I mean hello, Alexander Harris." He waited. "Hello? Hello? Lindsey is that you? Lindsey if this is some game." His voice trailed away. "If you're a stalker it's only fair to warn you I carry Mace!" He said sharply. There was a click and the phone went dead.

Xander took the phone from his ear and stared at it a moment as if he expected it to come back to life. "Well that was just rude." He twisted round to replace it and caught sight of the time on his watch. "Christ on a crutch!" He exclaimed. " I'll be late meeting Giles!"

He sat bolt upright dislodging Anya who fell with a soft thud and yowl of protest onto the carpet. Xander looked at her apologetically. "Sorry babe." She sniffed and gave him a disdainful glare before nose and tail in the air she stalked towards the bedroom. Xander launched himself from the sofa and headed towards the bathroom, shedding clothes as he went.

Thirty minutes later showered, shaved and dressed in crisp, white shirt and charcoal slacks, a large canvas bag slung over his shoulder, he was locking his apartment door. He walked the few yards to the elevator and pressed the button. He looked at his watch and decided to use the stairs.

Joyce Summers was struggling to pull her shopping trolley up the stairs. Xander sighed and took it from her. "You know you shouldn't try to bring this up the stairs Joyce, you haven't been well. Why didn't you use the elevator?"

Joyce took his arm and climbed the last half dozen steps. "I never get into an elevator alone. Rapists." She nodded knowingly. She searched in her purse for her keys. "Where are you off to dear?"

"I have an appointment with my publisher." He replied.

"That's nice, you ought to get out more." She pulled out her key. "Oh while I remember." She lifted the flap on the trolley and fished inside. "I caught the mailman trying to stuff this into your mailbox. I said I would give it to you." She handed him a large, crumpled, manilla envelope. "That's some love letter." She smiled.

Xander looked at the envelope. The stamps and the postmark were Colombian but the writing wasn't Lindsey's usual scrawl. He frowned. It looked for all the world like Graham's.

"Everything all right dear?"

Xander blinked at her. "Oh, yes, yes I expect so." He opened his bag and pushed the envelope inside beside the one containing his manuscript. He glanced at his watch. "I must go Joyce. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be just fine. Buffy is dropping by later."

Xander nodded starting down the stairs. "Give your daughter my love."

"I will dear."

Liam O'Connor's eyes narrowed behind the mirrored sun glasses as he watched Xander exit his building and walk up the street. He checked the picture on the book in his hand for confirmation. He watched as Xander disappeared out of sight. He dropped the book in a trash can and crossed the road to Xander's building. Time to check his apartment.

The Alibi Room was the only Gay Bar in Sunnydale and the only Gay Bar Xander had ever been to.

"It's time you had a man in your life." Giles looked around. "There, what about him? He doesn't look bad."

Xander followed Giles gaze to a tall, brunette, in a red Jumper and black slacks. "God no, he's not."

"He's not Angel?" Giles interrupted. "Xander, Angel isn't going to come crashing into your life and sweep you off your feet."

"I know, but he's out there somewhere the man for me."

"Out where?"

"Well not here that's for sure." He huffed. "Giles, why do we always have to have this conversation?"

"I like you. Wes and I worry about you, you're like family." He sighed. "I'm sorry I should never have made you come here. Have you heard from Lindsey? Is he still in Colombia?" Giles pressed.

Xander nodded. "An email last week."

"Have they found Graham's body?"

Xander paled and shook his head. "No just, just the head."

"What the Hell were they doing in Colombia anyway?"

Xander shrugged. "Some scheme of Graham's. And you know what else is really creepy? I got an envelope in the mail today and I think it's from Graham. He must have posted it before." His voice trailed away.

"Dear lord." Giles took off his glasses and began to polish them . "I'm not one to judge but that step brother of your's is nothing but trouble. He gallivants around the world gets himself into God knows what kind of scrapes and expects you to bail him out. Which you always do of course." He put his glasses on and jammed the handkerchief back in his top pocket.

Xander sighed. "Please Giles he only has me." He needed a diversion. He reached in his bag and pulled out the thick, A4 envelope. "How is Wes?"

"As annoying and cute as usual." Giles frowned as Xander pushed the envelope towards him. "What's this?"

"It's finished." Xander grinned.

"The book? You've finished it already?" Giles smiled. He gathered the envelope to him. "That's wonderful. I'll get Wes on reading it as soon as I get back to the office."

Xander finished his drink. "I'll call." He started to stand.

Giles placed a hand on his arm. "Stay. Have another beer, it'll do you good to relax for a while. I'm your publisher you have to do as I say." He smiled.

Lindsey yanked the curtains closed. A large, leather bag lay open on the bed and clothes were strewn around from still open drawers. He grabbed the two photo frames off the bedside table. One contained a photo of him and Xander, the other was of a dark haired, good looking young man. He tossed them into the bag and began to stuff in shirts and trousers.

The anonymous caller said O'Connor, the man he suspected of killing his lover was on his way and he needed to leave. He picked up his passport and laid it on top. He zipped up the bag. He slipped his wallet into his back pocket and put on his sunglasses. Running his hand through his shoulder length hair he smoothed it down, picked up the black Stetson and set it on his head. He gave a last look round the room, picked up the bag and left.

Lindsey stepped out into the Cartagena sunshine and looked up and down the dusty street. Apart from a group of ragged children playing, he saw nothing. In the shadows of a church two men watched him. He turned and began to walk the short distance to his car. As he passed the church the two men joined him, one on each side grabbing his arms. He dropped his bag and began to struggle until he felt the cold of the knife blade against his ribs, he stilled.

The taller of the two men smiled. "Very wise Mr. Mcdonald. Mr. Mears would be pleased if you'd join him on his yacht."

"Warren?" Lindsey frowned. "Warren wants to see me?"

The tall man nodded.

Lindsey shrugged. "Okay."

The car drove to the ancient quay side. The men bundled Lindsey out and down the steps to the waiting launch and out toward the decrepit looking trawler in the Bay.

From the island Oz watched their progress. Behind him Warren tossed lumps of raw horse meat into a pit containing crocodiles. Oz stalked towards him. "For fucks sake, what are you doing messing around with Prehistoric Animals."

Warren looked up. "Aren't they beautiful? Unchanged for thousands of years a force of nature." He tossed down more meat. "Look at those snappers." He added in admiration.

" Left to me I'd make the lot into fucking handbags."

Warren scowled at him. "I sometimes wonder if we're really related."

Oz snorted. "The boys are here, they've taken Mcdonald out to the boat."

Warren grinned. "Time to greet our guest."

Oz sighed. "Look Warren why don't we forget it? We should have just rifled his room. This kidnapping stuff makes me real nervous."

"How many times do I have to tell you. It's not in the country. My informant said Miller posted it to Mcdonald's brother in the States right before O'Connor picked him up."

"I still think it's a piss poor idea. It's too risky. Someone's going to get killed and it might be us." Oz nodded. "We've stolen enough of these antique trinkets to keep us comfortably for the rest of our lives. Let's kiss this Third World toilet goodbye and get outta here."

"Just this last big one. Trust me cousin would I steer you wrong? We keep hold of Mcdonald, get him to tell his brother to bring it here. Swap Mcdonald for the package. Easy as taking candy from a baby." Warren smirked.

"Have you ever tried taking candy from a baby?" Oz scowled.

Xander exited the elevator and walked to his apartment. He put the key in the lock and opened the door. He stepped inside and stopped dead.

The apartment was ransacked. Chairs and tables overturned, draws emptied on the floor, papers everywhere, picture frames smashed. The contents of his desk, his computer and laptop on the floor.

He started to tremble, his stomach tied in knots and a chill passed through him. Who would do such a thing? He was stunned. Suddenly his brain snapped into life.

"Oh God. Anya! Anya where are you baby?" He yelled. There was no answer.
3rd-Jun-2009 03:47 pm (UTC)
Uh-uh. I think Xander's life is about to get complicated!
3rd-Jun-2009 06:49 pm (UTC)
Very and in a way he may never ecover from. Thank you for the comment.
3rd-Jun-2009 04:46 pm (UTC)
Lindsey has been kidnapped, Xander's apartment has been rifled, oh can't wait for the adventure to begin.........
3rd-Jun-2009 06:50 pm (UTC)
More fun tomorrow. Thanks for the comment.
3rd-Jun-2009 04:48 pm (UTC)
Oh no! Is Anya okay?

Great job. More soon please. You just left me hanging there.
3rd-Jun-2009 06:51 pm (UTC)
Sorry, I tend to do that, the good news is, more tomorow! Thanks for the comment.
6th-Jun-2009 12:59 am (UTC)
Sorry it took me so long to get around to this. Still enjoying the he** out of the story. Where's Anya? On to the next chapter to find out. Great work.
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