Hard Times for Spike and Xan chapter 11

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When Xander woke up the next morning, he felt the desperate need for a shower. Not wanting to wake Spike up, he carefully climbed out of bed and into the bathroom.

He had just walked out of the bathroom wearing a pair of boxers and towel drying his hair, when he saw something in the full-length mirror behind the bedroom door.

He walked closer and noticed what it was that was off. The scar. It was about 3 inches long, the skin raised, and more pink then the rest of his body.

'I died' he thought, as he ran fingers up and down it. 'I died and I'm back. I could have lost all of this.'

He couldn’t seem to stop starring and touching the mutated flesh. Completely lost in his thoughts.

Spike woke up, and noticed Xander was gone. But he heard the shower and rested back, just smiling to himself and listening to everything after throwing on a pair of boxers.

When the shower was turned off and he saw Xander stop at the mirror. He got up and saw Xander looking at himself, and walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around him. "I am so glad you are okay now. I would have died without you. I know that is selfish, but I don't care. I want you in my life. I am glad I did what I did, cause now I have you... forever," he whispered 'forever'. He let his hands gently graze the pink scar.

"I died, Spike," Xander whispered. It seemed like he couldn’t get over this fact. "I was fucking stabbed and I was bleeding and you brought me to Giles and there was so much blood and I was chocking on it and it was warm and I fucking felt my heart slow and stop and... God... I died," babbling was something he hadn't done in a while and under normal circumstances he would have been mad at himself, but right now he didn’t care.

Spike shook his head and kissed Xander softly, "It was meant to be." He sighed, "I don't know how, but I could feel it." He kissed Xander's neck gently. "I cried... and I was so... so scared that you died and wouldn't come back. I thought I was dying when I saw you... just... hurt and fading away," he choked out sadly, hiding his face in Xan's neck, kissing it tenderly.

Xander turned in Spike's arms, wrapping his around the vamp. He squeezed Spike in his arms and started to purr, trying to calm him down. His own face was hidden in Spike's neck, kissing it softly.

"I love you, Baby. And I'm never going to leave you as long as I can help it. Ever. Now come on lets talk about something else, this is too depressing." He chuckled, hoping to gain, at least, a smile from his love.

Spike gave a sad grin; he then snuggled close to Xander. "You mean so much to me. Let's go to the kitchen and get a small bite, make us feel a little better. I know for a fact that Twinkies always cheer you up," he chuckled and kissed his love's cheek, and led him to the kitchen.

"What are you hungry for, hun?" he whispered into Xander's ear. Walking close behind him.

"Hun?" Xander turned his head and asked with a raised eyebrow. He jumped and sat on the counter 'Indian-style', much easier now that he was half-vampire. Putting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands, he thought of what he was in the mood for.

"Twinkies. Lots of Twinkies. Chocolate sounds good too," but he knew Spike would want him to have a *real* breakfast so he said, "Umm. I don’t know. Why don’t you surprise me, *Hunny Bunny*," he couldn’t resist making fun of his lover.

Spike rolled his eyes and pouted at Xander. "Meany..." he sighed and walked to the fridge and opened it and pulled out eggs, sausage, bacon, and hash browns. He set them all on the counter next to Xander. He then grabbed a couple Twinkies and chocolate sauce. "There you go, babe," he kissed Xan's lips softly, handing him the Twinkies and chocolate sauce. He got started on the breakfast.

"Sweet!" Xander snatched the Twinkies and chocolate sauce quickly, in case Spike changed his mind. He opened up a Twinkie and drizzled chocolate sauce on top. After taking a bite he moaned. "This is soooooo good," he then continued to moan after every bite he took until the Twinkie was gone. He then repeated the process with two more.

Spike laughed, shaking his head. When the food was done he set it all out, "Okay Mr. Unhealthy, please eat some of this yummy breakfast I thoughtfully made you because you mean so much to me," he smiled brightly and innocently, and batted his eyelashes for effect. 'Please .eat. not just junk food.' He worriedly looked at Xander. "If... it doesn't taste good, I don't mind, you don't have to eat it, but... could you at least try it? For me?" He tilted his head and carefully took the Twinkies and chocolate from Xander.

‘Why's he so nervous? Like I could resist those eyes.' Xander thought.

"Fine. For you. And I'm sure it'll be good," he said as he jumped off the counter and made his way to the table. He sat and pulled Spike into his lap, one arm around his waits. After kissing Spikes neck, he picked up the fork and began to eat.

"Its good, Spike. Thanks."

Spike then chuckled, "Of course it is... I made it," he swallowed all the nervousness from before. I didn't know if he should let Xander see his vulnerable side, made him feel self-conscious.

"So. What do you have to do today?" He asked, looking down at his brunette lover with light blue eyes, when you looked into Spike's eyes, it was almost looking into the clouds on a sunny day, and sometimes when there is sadness in his eyes or tears, it is like looking into the clouds on a rainy day.

When he was finished with the food, Xander put the fork on the plate and pushed it further onto the table.

"Well, I got the name of the demon we need from Giles. It’s Toth. So we'll have to find some of them."

But now that he thought about it, he hadn’t heard anything from Alexander since the stabbing. He didn’t want to let Spike know just yet because if Spike knew, William knew. There wasn’t a need to worry William until he was sure that there was something wrong. So he changed the topic. "We also have to get your stuff from the crypt. Hopefully I wont get stabbed this time," he was trying to make the whole thing into a joke, he knew that, but he felt like he had to.

Spike let out a low growl, "Don't ever joke about that, Xan..." He got up and walked to their room to put on his duster, which he cleaned, and walked to Xander, "I want you to stay here. I will get my stuff. It won't take me too long. Please, don't leave the apartment until I get back." He sighed, giving Xander a tender kiss on the lips before leaving to his crypt.

He grabbed all his stuff, which wasn't very much, and took it back to Xander's place, after looking at the crypt for one last time. 'Goodbye old memories...' He looked down and then headed to his love's apartment.

"I'm back." He called out.

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With Spike gone, Xander took the opportunity to look for Alexander.

He cleared off the table and sat down in the middle of it in the same position as when he was on the counter. Closing his eyes, he turned all his focus turn inward, the world around him disappearing.

He stood in a hallway with three doors. One for him, one for Princess, and one for Alexander. He walked up to Alex's and entered. Having never been inside, he was a little surprised at what he found. It seemed to be a shooting range.

"Alex?" he called out hesitantly.

"Xan? What are you doing here?"

Xander turned to where the voice was coming from, finding Alex sitting at a table and cleaning a gun.

"Hey, man. Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you since the... you know."

"Yeah, I know." Alex looked down, slightly ashamed of what he was about to admit. "I-I was too scared to leave here," he gestured to the room around him.

"Alex, I know its scary, but we have guys out there that need us. Spike needs me and William needs you. We found the name of the demon, now we just have to find them and make a deal. Then you and William can get your own bodies and live happily ever after."

Alex thought this over and looked back up to Xander, smile on his face. "Happily ever after, huh?"

"Of course. We're the good guys aren’t we? We always get our 'happily ever after'."

Xander opened his eyes when he was done with his talk to Alex and found Spike drinking a mug of blood.

"Umm how long have I been out?" he asked as he jumped off the table and walked up to Spike.

After wrapping his arms around the vampire, he reached up and grabbed the mug. Vamping out, he took a sip and winced.

"Aw fuck! That’s gross. You didn’t even heat it up!"

Spike laughed, and shook his head, putting more blood in the mug and then in the microwave, "You were out... about... half an hour? I would say, I guess. I have been here for half an hour, gone about an hour or so." He nodded to himself and then handed the mug to Xander. "It was cold because I didn't want the microwave to bother you."

"That’s stupid." was Xander’s answer to Spike not wanting to bother him. Sometimes he wondered if someone switched the old Spike with this one.

He took a swig from the mug, 'Still not good but it will do' then downed the rest, fast.
"So you bring all your stuff here? Any trouble along the way?"

He walked to the sink and rinsed the mug before setting it in. Then turned back to Spike.

Spike shook his head, "Nah. They would know better than to mess with me." He chuckled and then looked at Xander oddly.

"Pet... Do you not like me or something now?" He raised an eyebrow and stared at his brunette lover with bright blue eyes.

Startled, Xander took a step back. "What!? You're kidding me right?"

He looked into Spikes eyes, looking for the amusement, but found none. 'What the hell?'

"Spike, Baby... What the hell would make you think that?" He was almost afraid to touch him.

Spike sighed and turned around, closing his eyes, "Xander. I can tell you notice that I am nicer, and not so much... the Spike from before, but it is cause I found you, and after we got together," he turned around and looked his love in the eyes, "My whole life changed when I thought you *died*, Xan. Bloody hell! When I realized you were changed I was terrified that you weren't the same Xan as before, but you are, you are the same, sweet, loveable, and cuddly man I fell in love with."

He walked up to Xander and hugged him tightly, "If... I am not the Spike you want, if you want the one who always insulted you, and went after Slutty... the one who took advantage of everything. Tell me, tell me and I will go back to what I used to be. Otherwise, let's just be happy with the life we have, in love, happily free, and happy..."

Xander's arms hung by his side, still afraid to touch Spike.

"Spike... I... You..." he had no idea what to say. He stood there looking over the blonde’s shoulder at the wall. A few minutes passed by, being able to hear the hands ticking on the kitchen clock. He had to say something. "I'll love you know matter what, Spike. I don’t want you to put on an act just because you think its what I would want. I want you. I don’t care if that you is the sensitive one that makes me breakfast or the one that had to be the Big Bad. I just want you."

Spike smiled and hugged Xander tightly, "This is who I am... I became this. I don't know if I could ever be the jerk I was." He pulled back and smiled at Xan, "I love you so much, and I wouldn't be able to live without you with me." He smiled.

He sighed, "Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? Like, at a certain... fancy restaurant?" He gave a grin, knowing that it was Xander's favorite place.

"Why, Mr. the Bloody. Are you asking me on a date?" Xander joked.

Deciding he wanted to get out of the kitchen and the 'bad vibes' from their last conversation, he picked Spike up in his arms, wrapping the vamps legs around him. He made his way to the living room and sat on the couch. Spike still wrapped around him.

"I'd love to."

Spike chuckled when he was teased, and then lifted up into his lover's arms, "Well, I think I may just swoon, Mr. Sex on Legs, or Mr. Viking in the Sack. Which I can vouch for." He grinned evilly and kissed Xander on the lips softly, then pulled back, "Yes I am asking you on a date. One that we should have had a while ago, but have been to busy for," he grinned, wiggling so he fell back on the couch and made Xander flop over him and purred and he nuzzled his brunette love's neck, licking just a little.

Xander growled ask Spike nuzzled and licked his neck. "You are such a tease," he said before nuzzling Spike's own neck. He opened his mouth wider and started to suck and bite and lick. He knew the hickey would be gone in about an hour, but he still wanted to try.

Spike groaned as his neck was sucked on. "Mmm, Xan, bite me," he growled, as he vamped out and teasingly licked his love's neck, his sharp teeth gently pressing against Xander's neck, not penetrating the skin yet, just... resting there.

At Spikes command, Xander's face shifted. He hadn’t removed his teeth from his neck, so as his fangs grew, they pierced the skin of his love, his Sire.

Not being able to resist, he started to take little sips from the man below him. Purring deep in his chest to show his Sire how much he loved him and appreciated this. He removed his fangs and started to lick little cat-like licks at the wound.

Spike smiled, his fangs gently pushing into Xander's and taking small drinks of his loved one's blood, then pulled out and swirled his tongue around the small pin prick wounds. He pulled back and looked Xander in his yellow eyes with his own yellow ones. "Beautiful," he purred, licking Xander's bottom lip, which held a little bit of blood.

Xander leaned forward and rubbed his forehead against Spike's, his purr increasing more than ever. 'Damn. Vampires have to be related to cats somehow,' he thought absently. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew that this was something that mated vampires did, but it felt right.

Spike couldn't help but grin at Xander, "I love how you purr, it is so hot." He growled, lightly nipping on Xander's cheek.


'Don't forget to remind him about the dinner reservations for 9pm.'


'I won't bloody forget Wil, now just leave me and my lovely Xan alone.'


'Alright alright.'


Spike smiled at Xander as he changed back to his human visage. "Don't forget about the dinner date tonight. I have it for 9pm."

Xander shifted his face back to human and dove in to devour Spike's lips. "Yea, I know. Just can’t help myself. You're so hot, Baby. So fucking sexy," he panted when he pulled back from the kiss. "What time is it? Do we have time for a quickie or something?" He went back to Spike's neck and bit and licked as much as he could, knowing that this was extremely erotic to vampires.

Spike bit his lip as he groaned, "Xan... I think it’s 8pm. So we have an hour babe." He couldn't help but chuckle as he shook his head and pulled Xander from his neck. "Xan... we should go to your room and use the bed. It’s always better in beds. Even if it is just a quickie." His eyes were bright blue, and filled with amusement. 


He stood up and pulled Xander up also, running them to their room, and he threw Xander onto the bed, and pounced on him, and started attacking his neck, licking, sucking, biting playfully.

Xander growled and flipped him and Spike over so he was on top. He sat on Spike's thighs and stared down into the blue eyes looking up at him.

In what seemed like seconds, he removed both their clothes and had them in the same position as before. He bent down and licked up Spike's neck in one swipe. Then he started to kiss and bite his way down to his lovers leaking member. Here, he stopped and looked up with a suggestive smirk on his face.

Spike panted as he stared down at Xander with wide eyes, "Xan... God. You turn me on so much baby..." he purred as he reached down and ran his fingers through Xander's dark brown hair. 
"So amazing, please. Please suck me, take me down your throat," he gave a small laugh and grinned, "Suck my brains out of my hard cock. I know you can 'Harris'," he growled his love's last name, like it was a naughty word.

Xander laughed at Spike calling him 'Harris' and licked the skin next to his cock. "Haven’t heard that in a while. Haven’t really missed it, Fangless." Without giving Spike a chance to think about what he just said he quickly took his whole member into his mouth. He licked around the root and swallowed around the head.

Spike choked on the works he was going to say. "Ahh... ngggh." He put his fist in his mouth as he gasped loudly. His eyes started drifting shut as he felt all of Xander's tongue tasting and rubbing against his cock, "Please... more." He felt his balls tighten up as he got closer to orgasm, "Getting close..." He whimpered.

Hearing Spike say he was close made Xander moan around the dick in his mouth. He reached down and started to jack himself off vigorously. When he felt himself getting close he began to bob his head up and down Spike while sucking as hard as he could. Wanting to bring him over the edge he purred, knowing the vibrations would be too much.

Spike gasped as he stared down at his lover in shock. He could feel his orgasm right on the edge. "Oh... baby," he purred as he vamped out and licked his lips. He grabbed Xander's other hand and bit the tender skin between the index finger and the thumb, sucking it as he came hard. He pulled his mouth away from the sweet blood and arched his back, screaming out Xander's name, his body shaking.

The feel of Spike's cock twitching in his mouth, combined with the taste and feel of his cum shooting into his mouth, was what brought Xander over the edge. He came hard onto his own hand and onto the bed.

When they were both done he let the now soft cock slip out of his mouth. He began to lick it clean while he held his own cum covered hand up to Spike. "Clean it."

Spike's nostrils flared, this was the first time Xander ever used his dominant voice with him, and he loved it. He licked his bottom lip seductively as he purred, "Yes, master," he smiled as he started licking Xander's hand with slow and long strokes of the tongue. When the palm was clean, he started on the fingers, sucking each one into his mouth and swirling his tongue around them.

While Spike was still licking his hand he climbed up his body and sat back on his thighs. When the vampire was done he fisted a hand in his hair and retched his head back. "Good boy," he said before he bent down and bit into his neck. After taking only one mouthful, he pulled his fangs out.

Spike was panting for unneeded breath as yanked Xander's head down and kissed him deeply and hard. When he broke the kiss he licked a little of the blood off of Xander's lip, "You are so tasty, pet." He let out a slow breath as he moved one leg and wrapped it around Xander's waist, "Do we still have time to have sex?" He tried to see the alarm clock but couldn't see it.

Xander looked over to the alarm clock. "8:36. That would be a no," with a smirk, he looked back down into blue eyes. "Maybe, if you behave yourself, we can when we get home." He rethought what he said and added, "Or maybe if you DONT behave yourself." With that said Xander rolled off his love and went to get ready.

Spike couldn't help but chuckle and roll his eyes. He got up onto his knees, then moved so his was on all fours, "Better teach me a lesson now, Harris." He growled, raising an eyebrow, taunting his lover playfully. "Show me how much you want to be my master, and tell me what to do."

Seeing Spike on all fours in a submissive position made Xander vamp out and growl, "Get dressed. Now." He turned and continued to get ready himself, trying to will away his sudden erection.

Spike couldn't help but pout and get off the bed, and sadly get dressed. "You better make it up to me when we get back," he sighed.

He put on his nice clothes; since it was a date with his loved one. "I love you, pet." He smiled a little as he gave Xander a hug.


TBC…

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