Warnings: HAU, M/M sex, violence, swearing, possible humor, blatant use of movie misquotes, OOC, varying chapter lengths. UNBETA'D
Rating:Overall NC17 Individual Chapters PG to NC17
Pairing: 100% S/X (Is there any other?)
Comments: Comment if you want to, though it would be nice to know someone is reading it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to someone who is not me. I write for fun not profit.
Note 1: This was written for the Film challenge on Ultimate_Xander
Note2: This follows the general plot of the film with a few important deviations!
Note 3: My heartfelt thanks go out to my dear friend Bmblbee, for kicking me up the ass into writing this and holding my hand through the writing and posting process. Without her it would never have been written. *Hugs*
Summary: Alexander Harris is a highly successful author of romantic novels under the pen name Xander Harris. His stories have a twist, his hero is a 500 year old, ensouled vampire called Angel and the love interest is always male. Shy and retiring he lives a quiet, orderly life in the town of Sunnydale where he was born and raised. In contrast his younger step brother Lindsey McDonald lives an exciting life traveling the world and lurching from crisis to crisis. When Lindsey lands in a spot of bother Xander's money can't solve, it's up to Xander to launch a rescue mission. Along the way he meets the handsome, roguish, soldier of fortune William Stone. Question is, is it the best or worst thing to ever happen to him?
Oz was not happy, he trailed after Harris and Indiana, not letting them out of his sight. Harris looked easy enough to handle, but the blond was something else. He was not exactly a shrewd judge of character but he thought he had got the measure of these two, the blond was the dominant, dangerous one. God knows how he hooked up with Harris, the why was easier. Obviously the blond wanted the stone and getting into Harris's pants was the way he was doing it. He saw now how Harris had made it this far, the important thing was Indiana seemed genuinely fond of Harris and that was a weakness Oz could use.
He watched them cross to the waterfall and followed them, the water came up to his chest and it wasn't until halfway he remembered that he couldn't swim. He'd had two near death experiences in twenty four hours what was one more? His teeth chattered so hard when he climbed out, he was certain they would hear him, he was going to kill Warren. He fished out his soggy gun, there was no way in Hell it would fire; not that it mattered, it was empty. Oz was not going to walk around with a loaded gun, he was too Health and Safety conscious for that, especially his health and safety.
There was absolutely no way Harris and the blond could know it was empty.
He watched as Indiana smashed the piggy bank against the rock and his eyes widened at the sight of the stone. Oz quickly thought of a plan. Take the stone and Harris, dump the blond. Drive to Cartagena. Persuade Harris to go ahead with swapping the map for his brother. Meanwhile he would get to the airport and cut out. By the time Warren looked for the stone, Oz would be long gone.
Sweet. Warren was a disgrace to the family name anyway.
He clicked off the safety and stepped out of the shadows. "Understatement of the year asshole." Xander and Spike spun round and slowly stood. Both raised their hands slightly. Spike stared at Xander. "Is there anyone in Colombia who isn't after you?" Oz pointed the gun at Xander. "No fancy moves Indy or your boyfriend goes bye byes." Spike rolled his eyes, but stepped back. There was no way he couldn't take the little runt, but he had to make sure Xander was out of the line of fire.
Oz held out a small bag. "Put the goods in the bag."
Oz gestured with his gun. "Hurry up!" He pointed the gun at Xander's head.
Spike grunted and tossed the gem into the bag.
Oz waved the gun. "Now move it before Batman comes home."
They crossed the water and walked back to the car. Spike in the lead, Xander in front of Oz. "Ok I'm going to need a chauffeur Mr. Harris. You're going to drive me to Cartagena." Oz gave Xander a sharp push in the back. Xander stumbled.
Spike whirled round. "Back off creep! Don't touch him!"
Oz gasped. "Creep! Creep? I'm the creep? At least I'm honest. I'm stealing the stone not trying to romance it away from under him." Oz protested. "That's not true! Going after the treasure was my idea!" Xander yelled. "Oh, oh sure it was. What did he say? That you needed it? That it would give you more bargaining power to get back your brother? Harris we only wanted the map, there was no need for all this. He's a con man you sap. Now get in and drive."
Xander stared at Spike. "What! You believe this runt?" Spike protested.
"Hurry up. Get in!" Oz waved the gun. Xander slid behind the wheel. Spike tensed ready to jump Oz as soon as Xander shut the door.
Oz gestured for Spike to step away, suddenly his eyes bugged . "Holy shit!" He tossed the gun away, spun round and began to run.
Spike gaped, "What the...." he turned round and his eyes bugged. "Ahhhhh shit!" Xander poked his head out of the window. "What?" He looked. "Ahhhh shit! Get in!"
Black jeeps were moving fast across the skyline. Spike threw himself into the passenger seat. Oz was running as fast as his short legs would carry him down a steep incline, he tripped and rolled, picked himself up and ran on.
"Which way?" Xander asked. "Follow the bloody stone!" Spike snapped. Xander swung the car round and drove after Oz. The jeeps saw them and began to give chase. "Drive along side the runt, I'll lean out and snatch the bag." Spike instructed. Xander drove after Oz who started to weave, Xander pulled along side him, Spike opened the door and leaned out. Oz weaved too late and Spike snatched the bag, he pulled himself in and slammed the door with a huge grin.
Oz ran after the car yelling at the top of his lungs. "Boys, boys, take me with you! I didn't mean it! The gun wasn't even loaded.!" The jeeps tore passed Oz. "That's right, that's right! Chase them they've got it!" He encouraged and slowed to a walk and stopped gasping for breath. He turned round and nearly walked into the jeep stopped behind him. "Oh shit!"
The Lada bounced and rattled down the incline, Xander hunched over the wheel gripping it so hard his knuckles were white, a look of deep concentration on his face. Spike twisted round, the jeeps were catching up fast. Spike glared at Xander. "You're not on the bloody school run, put your foot down Harris!" Xander glared at Spike. "Do you want to drive? If I put my foot down any harder it'll go through the fucking floor!"
They turned forward and screamed in unison.
The Lada left the bank and didn't so much soar gracefully into the air, as belly flop into the middle of a deep, fast flowing river.