In the first fic Xander has just gone from his parents basement to a new apartment and is looking for a roommate.At some point he starts questioning his sexuality, I'm pretty sure he experiments to some degree with one of the guys he interviewed as a possible roommate. While all of that is going on Spike is harboring a secret lust for him and is extremely jealous. I think Xan is a virgin (to m/m sex) and when he realizes he's hot for Spike he goes to see him and Spike is angry because he thinks Xan's done the deed with the other guy but then he doesn't smell it on him, then he's(Spikes) all relieved, Xan confesses he's hot for him and they hook up. I also remember that one of the guys that Xan interviews gets in a three way relationship with Oz and Willow. Thats all I really remember about that fic; hope it sounds familiar to someone.
In the second fic I think Xan's still in high school, and Spikes (again) harboring a secret lust for him. I think he pretends to teach him to fight just so he(Spike) can feel him(Xan) up. I know at one point Spike takes Xan out to shoot pool somewhere and is flirting with him and Xan gets upset and storms off cause he thinks Spikes making fun of him but Spike follows him and lets him know thats not the case and they hook up(que the hot m/m sex).
The third fic is titled "the Long Route to True Love" or something like that and in it Xan likes Spike and Spike likes Xan but Spikes in denial so at one point in the story, everyone is at the bronze, Xan dresses up to try to impress him and Spike plays the jerk card by going home and having sex with Faith. While he's off with Faith Xan and Buffy get in a car wreck, which is later revealed was caused by his father, who was driving the car that hit Buffys car. After the accident they hook up. I think its still a wip or it was last time I read it.
Thanks in advance for any help.
ETA: Does anyone know where I can find the BTVS/Hellraiser xover fic that was posted here a while back?In it Giles, Buffy, Riley, Anya and some others die.I think Angel shows up at one point. Xan gets hurt but theres a happy Spander ending.
ETA: All fics FOUND! Links in post. Thanks everyone for the help.