Rating: NC17 overall.
Disclaimer: The Bee owns nothing. Certainly not the characters or products
mentioned in this story and unfortunately, the Bee makes no profit from it.
Summary: This story is a light hearted comedy/mystery.
It is based slightly (very slightly) on the plot of the old movie
"House Of Long Shadows". It is an HUA that tells the story of a very successful
mystery writer, Alexander Harris, who is suffering from a severe case of writer's
block. Against his better judgement, he accepts a $10,000.00 bet with his
publisher after claiming he can crank out a full manuscript in a 24 hour period. This
short story is his struggle to do that and the bizarre obstacles that pop up.
Warnings: Sexual dialogue and M/M slashy acts.
As always, special thanks to the amazing Petxnd for her wonderful banners.
Xander and Buffy immediately sprang apart at the booming sound of the
accusatory voice. Marching into the room on a cloud of fury and jealous
rage, Spike immediately stepped between the two and he placed his balled
up fists on his hips.
"What the hell is going on here, Xander? Who is this cheap tart and why
are her hands all over your body like that? I thought you said you wanted
to be alone to work. Is THIS what you are working on?"
Quickly Xander wiped his sweaty palms on the thighs of his jeans and he
began to stutter, professing innocence. Buffy, on the other hand, was
not to be intimidated and she squared off with the short Brit. Xander
panicked and jumped in.
"Wait, wait, Spike,it's not how it looks. I don't even know her. Her
car broke down. She came in to use the phone. Tell him Buffy, tell him."
"Oh, you don't know her but you know her name."
Smiling sweetly, Buffy wedged up next to Xander and wrapped her arm around
his waist. In a flash, Spike grabbed her wrist and he jerked her away.
"Back off, Bitch! Xander's mine!"
"WHAT? NO, I don't belong to...."
Before Xander could finish the thought or the sentence, Spike spun him
around and pulled their bodies flush together. Blue eyes locked with
brown and then Spike kissed him.
Oh Momma, what a kiss. Sweeter than a chocolate bar on a marshmallow,
Xander melted against him. Spike's lips were warm, soft yet firm and
possessive in a way only another man can kiss.
Xander's brain sparked out and his crotch threatened to implode.
Xander was sure, at some point, he should push Spike away. For now,
however, the logical thing to do seemed to be to open his mouth and
let Spike's probing tongue in. So he did, and the passion of the moment
swept him away. The blond's tongue licked, swiped and moved around
Xander's mouth as though he were making a home in there.
Xander was stunned to realize that the strange high pitched whine that
filled the room was coming from him. He had never, in his 23 years on
earth made such a noise. Of course he had never been kissed like this
before either. He didn't even mind that the blond tasted of stolen
turkey and beer.
At last, and way too soon, Spike stepped back and broke the lip lock.
Xander swayed, attempting to balance on legs made of rubber.
Spike casually swiped his thumb over his lips and he looked at Buffy.
Her face broke into a huge grin.
"Well shit, Xander. Why didn't you just say so. Gosh, you gay guys
are so sensitive. You really should have been honest in the beginning.
It isn't fair to lead a girl on like that."
Xander gasp, outraged. Before he could regain his scattered brain cells,
Spike threw his arm around Buffy's shoulder and he led her away, taking
a last second to snatch up Xander's cell.
"No harm done, Love. Now, my boy here has work to do and he needs peace
and quiet so why don't we move this to another room. You can make your
call and we will see to it that you are all set to go."
Buffy flipped her pony tail back and she ran her hands down over her
skin tight sweater poking her tiny tits out as far as they would go.
"Gee, that's fab, Spike. Thanks. Hey, can I get a glass of water?"
"Wouldn't you rather have a beer? Got some cold in the cooler."
Buffy squealed in delight and clapped her hands as they disappeared
and Spike closed the door behind him.
Xander stared in horror as the tiny numbers in the bottom corner of
his computer snapped over to 5:10 PM. Where the hell had the time gone?
He still did not have a shred of an idea for a story and his ability
to concentrate was as fleeting and elusive as trying to catch a fart
in a paper bag.
Unfortunately, he couldn't blame the interference of the others. In
fact he hadn't seen hide nor hair of them since Buffy first arrived
which brought up the one question that had been using up all the
imagination and creativity he so desperately needed for his nonexistent
"What the fuck are they doing out there and why the fuck are they
Not really expecting any response, Xander's brain was drawing him pictures
of the two of them, naked, covered in a sheen of sweat as they humped
wildly, grabbing, groping, possibly tying each other up with pieces of
discarded clothes line and finally screwing each other's brains out.
Apparently Xander's imagination was only stunted when it came to a
Slipping across the room, Xander pressed his ear against the closed
door and strained to catch a peep of a moan, a groan, or a mutter curse.
What he did hear surprised him. It was the loud gurgling and rumbling
from his stomach reminding him that he hadn't eaten since arriving.
"Well, I can't possibly work on an empty stomach. Maybe a short lunch
break is just what I need to get my creative juices flowing. Yep,
that's the ticket. A sandwich, a beer and a chance to clear my mind
and make room for all those plot and character ideas that are standing
in line waiting to charge in."
Not the least in his mind was the thought that it had been an hour
since Buffy arrived. Hopefully he was wrong and by now someone had
come to pick her up. That meant that he and Spike were again alone
in the house. Not that he cared. Nope. Spike had his work here,
whatever the hell that was, and Xander had his job to do. Of course
if their paths did cross, he would certainly be cordial.
Xander closed the lid of his laptop and he hurried out the door, down
the hall and straight for the kitchen.
"Jesus, fucking, Christ! Who the fuck ate my turkey?"
Xander held the small, nearly empty deli pack high in the air despite
the fact that he was the only one there, and he continued to bitch
loudly as he slapped the last, sad slice on a piece of bread and
grabbed one of the few beers still huddled in the cooler.
With his mouth stuffed full, he continue to mumble, spraying bread
"A man's turkey is fucking sacred, People. You just don't fucking
mess with a man's turkey!"
"Don't sweat it Dude, we got a pizza coming."
Xander jumped straight in the air and spun around in time to see the
big hulk of a man stroll casually over, jerk open the fridge and grab
a beer. He then screwed the cap off the bottle and pitched it across
the vast expanse of the huge kitchen to see it land perfectly in the
small corner waste can.
"YO! Two points."
Totally clueless on the sports analogy, Xander stood frozen with a
half a sandwich in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. Two Points
clinked beer bottles with Xander as he passed and he walked out of the room.
"What the fuck?"
Even Xander was aware of how repetitious he was beginning to sound but
seemed helpless to stop. He shoved the rest of his food in his mouth
and he rushed from the room. Darting through the panty, past the formal
dining room, he skidded to a stop in the huge living room. A room he
almost didn't recognize.
The lights were blazing, there was music playing and Buffy and Two Points
were slow dancing in the center of the room. Spike, who was still
stretched out on the couch leapt to his feet and moved quickly to Xander's
"Xander, Love, decided to come join the party, or maybe you just decided
to cum and BE the party."