Rating: NC17 overall.
Disclaimer: The Bee owns nothing. Certainly not the characters or products
mentioned in this story and unfortunately, the Bee makes no profit from it.
Summary: This story is a light hearted comedy/mystery.
It is based slightly (very slightly) on the plot of the old movie
"House Of Long Shadows". It is an HUA that tells the story of a very successful
mystery writer, Alexander Harris, who is suffering from a severe case of writer's
block. Against his better judgement, he accepts a $10,000.00 bet with his
publisher after claiming he can crank out a full manuscript in a 24 hour period. This
short story is his struggle to do that and the bizarre obstacles that pop up.
Warnings: Sexual dialogue and M/M slashy acts.
As always, special thanks to the amazing Petxnd for her wonderful banners.
Xander straightened his clothes, smoothed his hair and took one last look at his
laptop. 2AM. He had just ten hours left. Not totally impossible but it meant
that all the time for bull shit was gone. Now the fact was that he and Spike
were the only two who had legitimate reasons to be here. In other words he
was about to boot the others to the curb. Period.
He didn't want to hear any more excuses, no pizza, no beer no nothing. If this
Willow person wasn't able to fix the doohicky or the whatchmacallit on Buffy's
car, then they will just have to catch a ride with the pizza dude.
One way or another they had to make like a horse turd and hit the road.
Make like a tree and leaf.
Xander Harris was a man on a mission. As for being caught with his pants down.
Fuck 'em. There was no shame in his game and any of the others that could get
a little nookie nook, would have jumped on the chance. Besides, he was very
attracted to Spike and apparently if the lip lock on his man meat was any
indication, Spike kinda liked him too.
"So, this is it."
Xander was bolstered by the firm sound of his own voice and he marched from
the library. He headed through the kitchen, 'Ooo. Fresh brewed coffee. Yum'
and he proceeded through the butler's pantry and ended up at the closed door
of the living room. When he jerked the door open, the orders to leave died on
The room was dimly lit and the atmosphere was no longer cheery. No one was
dancing, cuddling, joking or snacking. What he saw was Buffy, Angel, Spike
and Willow clustered at the far end of the room, in front of the cold unused fireplace.
They all stood straight and rigid, they all faced each other and although their
voices were kept in low whispers, it was more than obvious that they were
deep in a conversation that had crossed the line from friendly banter into angry
At first, they didn't notice him and Xander was slightly alarmed when Buffy
clenched her fists and stepped toward Spike. Angel quickly placed a hand
on her arm which she shook off defiantly.
Xander knew there was more going on here than was floating on the surface
but the fact was, he didn't have the time or interest in finding out what it was.
He was dangerously short on time and needed them out NOW.
"Well, well, looks like the natives are restless."
The other four snapped around. Their faces flipped like switches and they
were again laughing and light hearted. The change occurred so quickly, Xander
wondered for a second if he hadn't misunderstood what he had seen.
Buffy giggled and rushed to him tugging him on in to the room.
"Hey, there you are. How is the work going? Almost done? See we told
you we would be quiet as mice. You must be ready for a break. I'll bet
you are exhausted, well, guess what? We made you a fresh pot of coffee
to help you stay awake. Willow brought it. Isn't she just the keenest?"
Xander waited, but made no effort to stem the tide of her flow of babble.
Instead he took the time to look at the others. Really look at them.
Spike and Angel were running their hands over a bore head that hung by
the mantle and having a pleasant, joking time questioning whether the size of
it's tusks translated to the size of it's cock.
Buffy stood close to Willow. She petted her soft red hair repeatedly. Willow had
a tense smile on her face that did not reach to her eyes. Every once in a while
she would glance nervously at Xander.
If she remembered seeing his frank and beans, she apparently hadn't shared
that information with the others as there was no joking or innuendo.
Finally, Xander crossed his arms over his chest.
"Why are you all still here?"
Four totally bewildered faces turned in his direction and all conversation stopped.
After an uncomfortable length of time, Angel shrugged.
"You know why we are here. Buffy's car broke down so I came to wait with her
till it was fixed and Willow came to fix it. You're a good guy. You wouldn't expect
her to stand out in the middle of the night, alone, cold and vulnerable, would you?
There are all kinds of scary things out there. In the night. In the dark."
Xander would not be made to feel guilty.
"Point one, it was the middle of the afternoon when she came in here. Point two
why didn't you just take her home in your car, and point three, if Willow is here,
why didn't she fix the fucking car instead of the fucking generator? Oh and point
four, this is southern California, it's NEVER cold here."
Angel huffed indignantly as though his very manhood had been called into question.
"Well, if that's the thanks we get we should just leave this very minute. What do
you say, Babe?"
Buffy smiled apologetically.
"Now, Angel, honey, Xander is just tense and tired. I'm sure he didn't mean to
sound like such an ungrateful prick, did you Xan?"
Spike cringed and eased up to rub his boy's back. The gesture, while it felt
wonderful, did not prevent the inevitable. Xander exploded.
"UNGRATEFUL PRICK? How dare you? What the fuck have you done but
show up here, eat my food, drink my beer and aggravate me?"
This time Angel let his temper flare.
"Your food? Your food? Hey, We're the ones who paid for the fucking pizza!
A pizza that you had no problem wolfing down like you hadn't eaten in a fucking
month. Which from the size of your ass, I find hard to believe."
Suddenly, Xander's temper cooled and he turned in a 360 looking all around the
room. He had planned on matching ass joke for ass joke considering Angle was
carrying around an extra pound or two on the old booty, but now something else
had his attention.
"Hey, speaking of pizza. Has anyone seen Andrew?"
The rest of the occupants of the room looked genuinely perplexed. Willow
went to the window to peer out.
"Maybe he left. It is probably way past his bedtime. The windows are too
dirty to see out. Someone should go look and see if his car is gone."
All faces turned to Spike.
Spike spun on his heel, marched out the front door and within 3 minutes was
back. The expression on his face told the story. Andrew was not home, tucked
in bed and cuddling his favorite blankie.
No, the lime green Gremlin with the 'Pizza Delivery' signs slapped on the
sides was still parked in the curve of the driveway.