Paring: Primarily S/X with a very minor S/OCs.
Rating: NC17 Adult Reading
Disclaimer: The Bee has no claim on any of the characters or
products named in this story and receives no profit from anything.
Warnings: Adult language, Prostitution, Violence, strong sexual
content. NOTE: All the boys working in Hope House are over
the age of 18. The Bee does not do underage!
Summary: Long after the final battle of Sunnydale, Xander is
alone, his life in shambles. Is there anywhere he can go and anyone
who can give him hope? There just might be.
As always, kudos to Petxnd for the wonderful banner.
"There you are, Love"
Spike slipped up behind the boy and slid his arms around Xander's shoulders.
"What are you doing sitting here in the dark?"
Xander leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. It still confused him
how the feel of Spike's cool embrace could warm and complete him in a way no
one else ever had.
He had spent his last few alone hours thinking and he knew several things for
certain. He was not in love with Spike, at least not yet, but he knew he soon
would be and, for now, he did need him.
Xander needed the attachment and the feeling of home and family that being
with Spike gave him. Maybe it was because Spike was such a connection to
his past. No, it was more. He didn't just want Spike to be his past, he needed
to be part of Spike's future.
He had also used the time to formulate, devise and plot out a plan. It was
one that he hoped, when all was said and done, that Spike could forgive him
for. It was one that Xander prayed would not spell out the end of their
Spike kissed him softly on the side of the neck.
"It was so quiet when I came in, I thought maybe you went on to bed. I love
it when the house is like this. Empty and silent. It feels almost like a tomb."
Without turning around, Xander stiffened in the vampire's arms.
"But we really aren't alone, are we? We aren't the only ones in the house
If Xander was waiting for a confession or for Spike to show some sign of
concern or even a twitch of apprehension, he was to be disappointed. Spike
"Mrs. Gessel? Oh, don't worry about her. She is sound asleep this time of
Xander wanted to be indignant at Spike's perception of Xander's stupidity.
He considered pulling away and confronting the man who was now nuzzling
his ear, but he wouldn't.
He had made a promise.
Someone needed him and even the gut wrenching pain of knowing he was
about to betray the man he wanted more than his own life, Xander knew
he would do what was required of him. He always did.
Kicking off his shoes, Spike dropped down on to the sofa beside his boy. He
put his hand on Xander's knee and leered as his fingers slowly trekked upward.
Although it had taken longer than anticipated, things with his business deal had gone
better than he had hoped and Spike was delighted, relaxed and horny. All evening,
it had surprised him how important it was knowing Xander was home waiting for him.
Before the vampire could make his move, Xander surprised him by throwing
his leg over and sitting on Spike's lap, facing him. He leaned in and kissed
the cool thin lips with his warm full ones. Quickly, the kiss turned heated as
both mouths opened with wet, slick tongues licking and tasting each other.
Spike threw his arms around Xander and pulled him close. Xander placed his
hands on the sofa at the sides of Spike's head.
Xander's chest heaved and pressed forward as his head tipped first to the
left then right, each time trying to dive deeper into Spike's mouth. Into Spike.
Finally, he broke lip contact but continued to bump his nose against Spike's
Spike could tell his boy wanted to talk about something, so he waited, his hands
gently running up and down the human's warm back. The cool hands both eased
Xander's tension and worsened it.
Finally, Xander began.
"We've known each other a long time, haven't we, Spike?"
Spike's thumbs outlined Xander's sharp shoulder blades and he mentally noted that
his boy was still way too thin. He smiled and nodded slightly.
"We have at that. Right around five years, I'd say."
Xander nodded his agreement at the estimation.
"And in that time, a lot has changed. For both of us. We have done things
that we probably never thought we would do, but things that circumstances
Spike started out just wanting Xander to spit out what ever the hell was on his mind
so they could move on to the shagging, but now, apprehension was starting to creep
in and he had a bad feeling about where this was going to go.
Spike licked his lips, tasting Xander on them.
"Whatever we have done, Love, was necessary to insure our survival and the
survival of the world."
Xander dropped his face, breaking eye contact.
"That sounds very noble, Spike, but the fact is, not everything we have done can
be so easily justified."
Spike placed his hands on the sides of Xander's face and he forced it back up.
He made sure the boy was looking him in the eye before he started.
"What exactly is it that you are trying to say to me, Xander. Is there something
I have done that you don't approve of, because I gotta tell you, my days of
apologizing to the human population for being a vampire are done. You know me,
Xander. You know me in a way that none of these people I am with now ever will
and that is part of why I want you here. You smell like family. I want you to be
with me. Be my companion. All that said, you need to understand that I am not the
same neutered, chipped vampire I was in Sunnydale. So why don't you stop beating
around the bush and just tell me what it is that you think I have done so we can move
on to the pants off part of the evening."
Spike was startled to see the honest surprise in the boy's eyes. Xander shook
his head and pulled back slightly. It was true that he was somewhat shocked
that Spike had a boy chained in the attic and that he was pimping a houseful
of teenaged boy whores, but the fact was, this was Spike.
God knows, he had done worse in Sunnydale and the fact that he was now
unchipped, Xander considered all this very minor.
"No. No, not you. I'm talking about me, Spike. I have done terrible things.
I have sold myself for money. I have stolen and lied. You knew me as a
good person, but I'm not anymore."
Spike Pulled Xander into an almost painful embrace.
"Xan, I know. The night we found you, I knew then. I don't know how you
ended up like this but I promise you, all that is behind you."
Xander expression remained set.
"So you forgive me?"
Spike looked sincerely confused.
"There is nothing to forgive. You are Alexander Harris. My Xander, and there
is nothing you could have done or ever could do that would make me turn my
back on you now."
"Remember you said that Spike. You remember."