Disclaimer: As always, the Bee has no claim or ownership of these characters
or the concept of Dancing With The Stars. However, the plots and the words
around them are mine. Thou shalt not steal.
Warnings: Bad language, pre slash. That's right, no actual sex.
Summary: The boys have been captured by demons who watch far too much
television and freedom comes at a cost. Can they pay it?
As always, thanks to Petxnd for the wonderful banners and the valued friendship.
"Ow, oops, damn, no. Wait a minute. Well fuck."
Spike stepped back, released Xander from his arms and gave his aching toes a rest.
The initial attempts at teaching the boy the Waltz had been a total disaster and
according to the instruction they had been given, they had only a few more minutes till
their debut performance.
"For Christ sake, Xander, it's not that hard. Just go where I lead you, keep your
head tilted slightly back and your elbows high. I mean seriously, what the fuck?"
Xander was sweating, huffing and thoroughly frustrated. He didn't work this hard
when he and Buffy were going at it the training room and he was wearing a padded
fatman suit. The inconvenient erection that he tried to conceal deflated on it's own
after the first fifteen minutes of insults and eye rolling from his partner.
"I still don't understand why you get to lead. How come I'm always the girl?"
Spike snorted as though the answer was glaringly obvious.
"Look. These Bor-E-anus demons are notoriously stupid. They have short attention
spans and they are easily satisfied. As most anus are. By now they have probably
lost interest in this game and have moved on to something else. All we have to do is
go out there and flit about for a bit. They will give us a score and we go home. Can
you at least hold it together for that long?"
Xander wanted to get pissed off and come back with a snappy retort but for now, his
mind was blank. He just wanted out. He wanted to go home.
"Yeah, sure. What the fuck ever."
In less than five minutes, they had their chance. The practice room door flew open
with a swish and a small green Munchkin waddled in. He signaled for them to follow
up a flight of steps and when they arrived at the archway of a huge dance floor, he
wave his tiny arms and sang, "I wish to welcome you to Anus land."
Then he shuffled away.
Without realizing what he was doing, Spike took Xander's hand and led him forward.
The room was dim with the only illumination coming from a spinning multicolored light
hanging from the ceiling. The floor was wood and polished to a deep shine. In the
shadows off to the far side, they could make out the outline of a table and three hulking
demons with wild spikey hair. Together, Spike and Xander stood and waited to see
what would happen next. They didn't have long to wait as a deep breathy voice spoke.
"Good evening. We look forward to your dance Gentlemen. You will be scored at
the end by each judge and you must receive a total of 20 points. I believe you will be
doing the Waltz? Please, begin."
Spike turned to face Xander and he whispered harshly, hoping the yellow gleam in
his eyes would convey the threat on his mind. In the background, the first soft strains
of the classical music began to fill the air.
"Just follow my lead and remember to take sweeping steps. Don't fuck this up!!"
Fear punched the boy in the stomach and he knew they were doomed. He tried to
recall everything Spike had taught him and he flopped his head back and jerked his
elbow up like a chicken wing. He did his best to follow step and prayed the demons
didn't see his foot accidentally connect with Spike's shin or hear the whimper that followed.
When the music mercifully ended and the only sound left in the room was his vampire's
snarl, they hustled over to stand in front of the judges. One by one, up came the
Before they could protest the insulted evaluations, a square panel beneath their feet
opened up and 'whoomp" they dropped to the practice room below. As they lay in a
heap, a small scrap of paper floated down and landed on Xander's ass. It read:
"The Swing. Three hours"
"Oh, bloody hell!!"
Xander flipped over onto his back. This promised to be a long day. Hell, at this rate,
they may still be here dancing a Christmas jig. He wondered how many points that
would get them.
"So, Spike, you're older than fuck, what the hell is the Swing?"
Spike wanted to scream and wring the boy's neck but he was starting to get the big
picture and it took them in an entirely new direction. They were going to have to
cooperate and they needed to work together if they wanted to get out.
"Look, Xander, we are going about this all wrong. I admit, I may have been a bit
impatient with you and I think you are honest enough to say that you could have taken
my instruction more to heart. Now, we both want to go home and clearly we are
going to have to dance to do it. Can we give it a go?"
Xander had already come to the same conclusion, but pride had prevented the
confession. Fact was, he had two left feet and he feared that nothing Spike said or
did was going to help. Still, he was willing to try.
"You're right. I'm sorry and I promise to try harder. So what is the Swing and how do
I do it?"
Spike stood and offered his hand to pull Xander up. He smiled warmly and had to
admit, the boy was beautiful when he was all sweaty and breathless like this. Maybe
they were going about this all wrong. Perhaps this could be fun.
"O.k, Pet. Here's the thing, the Swing is a very physical dance. Lots of bouncing,
twirling and tossing a bloke in the air, now since I'm smaller, it wouldn't look right to
be whipping you around so, you are going to lead. Just do as I say and we will make
this a bit of a romp."
"ACK! Lead? Me? No, Spike. Nononononononono."
Spike laughed easily hoping to put the boy at ease. They started slow. Spike showed
him several steps which Xander followed. With a bit of the tension draining from the
room, Xander's confidence buoyed and his two left feet actually did as they were
told. With the lessons now taking on an amiable feel, Xander paid more attention
to their reflection in the walls of mirrors and he had to admit, they looked damn
good together. He wondered how they would look doing other things.
Spike, too was fascinated by the images of himself. He was a bloody handsome
bloke and had no qualms about pointing it out. He resolved to get one of these
to hang in the crypt. When they got out of here. If they got out of here.
And in the end, that depended on Xander. He couldn't understand how someone
so good looking and physically attractive could be such a klutz but Harris was.
Hopefully, they could practice enough and keep it simple enough to get by.
"You are doing great, Pet. You have the basics down. Now, you are going to take
my hand and spin me. We then do a lift, a pivot and I slide between your legs.
We are going for the wow factor, Xan. Think you are up for it?"
Xander nodded and the sweat flew from his shaggy hair. Without thinking about
it, he pulled off his tee and wiped his brow before tossing it aside. Spike gasp.
He had no idea the boy had such a wonderfully sexy chest, sweet brown nipples
and a soft hair trail that ran down his hard flat stomach and dipped into his.....
"Spike? Hey, you in there?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry I guess my mind wandered. O.k, here we go. You are
going to do the steps we practiced then with no hesitation, go right into the spin,
dip and slide."
Two minutes later, Xander was rushing across the room to where Spike lay in a
crumpled heap. Xander had way overestimated his strength and the vampire had
shot across the room with the speed of light. He dropped to his knees as Spike
attempted to regain a bit of dignity. Something that was nearly impossible as he
had been forced to witness the whole thing in the mirrors that were quickly losing
"Spike! Oh God, Spike I'm sorry. Are you all right?"
Spike jumped to his feet, waivered slightly then sluffed off the humiliation. He brushed
off his trousers and squelched his temper. Killing the boy would make dancing with
him impossible. So, he sucked it up and held his voice calm.
"Xan. You are not shooting me out of a circus cannon. We are dancing. We are
a team. How about you try just lifting me to get an idea of my weight."
Xander grinned sheepishly. He squatted slightly and he gripped the vampire by the
waist. Immediately, pictures flashed into his head of Spike naked. Xander naked.
Spike's tight body pliant in Xander's grip. His dick sprang to life and Xander suddenly
recalled something Larry had asked him in the locker room. The other boy had gripped
his freakishly huge erection and he waved it at Xander. He then asked if Xander liked
to fish. Xander had foolishly answered "Yes" and Larry told him to "perch on this."
Xander burst into an uncontrollable fit of nervous laughter.