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You know they're doin' it
The Duke And The Dirtwater Fox 
9th-Nov-2009 11:18 am
Title: The Duke And The Dirtwater Fox (A VERY LOOSE S/X adaptation of the movie The Duchess And The Dirtwater Fox)
Warnings: HAU, M/M sex, humour, mild violence, swearing, angst, OOC, vague mentions of het sex, prostitution, varying chapter lengths. UNBETA'D. A little use of movie dialogue and songs.
Rating: NC17 overall, various chapters PG-NC17
Pairing: 100% S/X (With vague reference to X/OC, S/OC pre meeting.)
Author: Naughty_Fae
Comments: Comment if you want to, though it would be nice to know someone is reading it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to someone who is not me. I write for fun not profit.

AN 1: Although Sunnydale characters have been used they are NOT necessarily in their Sunnydale persona's.

Note 1: This is set in the West of the 1880's, and it is not meant to be historically accurate. It mentions both the Mormon and Jewish faiths. This is fiction, it is a comedy, no disrespect is meant to either faith.

Note 2: My heartfelt thanks go out to my dear friend Bmblbee, for holding my hand through the writing and posting process. *Hugs*

Note 3: This is a plot driven story. What sex there is happens in the natural course of the plot and as part of Spike and Xander's relationship.

Summary: Xander Harris is a young, charismatic cowboy making his way gambling, petty thieving, womanizing and occasionally rustling through life. When he 'accidentally' steals $40,000 from the hapless Rayne gang, he and his clumsy, near-sighted horse Black Jack are forced to go on the run. He ends up in San Francisco, where he meets the handsome Englishman Spike 'Duke' Quaid, whore, con artist, bar tender and Saloon entertainer and their lives will never be the same.

Chapter 1/18 + Epilogue

Rating: NC17 Overall

Chapter 1/18 + Epilogue

Rating: NC17 Overall

'You can't hurry love'

Boulder Creek 1873 White Horse Saloon:

The saloon was busy and the air hung hot and thick with the smell of whisky, beer, sweat, leather, cigar smoke and vomit. A tinny piano played by the thin, moustached piano player tinkled in the corner, cowboys stood shoulder to shoulder at the bar and saloon girls in short skirts, low bodices, too much make up and torn stockings circulated plying their trade.

In the corner were the card tables.

Four cowboys and the dealer sat around one table, a few cowboys looked on with mild interest. "I'll raise you fifty." The cowboy took the bills from the small pile of money in front of him and tossed them into the center of the table. He was young and handsome, with dark hair and eyes, a red bandana hung round his neck and a brown, leather duster from his broad shoulders, his shirt was creamy white, and he wore tan leather chaps over his blue jeans. His black hat was pushed back on his head, and he chewed on an unlit cigar.

One of the players folded, the others matched his bet. "Alright gentlemen, how many cards?" The dealer asked. A burly unshaven cowboy to his left slapped down two cards. "Give me two," he drawled and the dealer doled out the cards. Xander glanced at his hand and chewed his cigar, he took one card and slapped it face down in front of the dealer. "Give me one." The dealer pushed a card to him. Xander took it and added it to his hand, fanning out then closing his cards. "Give me two." The thin cowboy to the dealer's right instructed and exchanged his cards. Xander looked at his hand again and glanced up at Mable stood between two cowboys at the bar, the pretty saloon girl winked and Xander shook his head slightly. He looked down at his hand, Ace of Spades, Ace of Hearts, King of Clubs, king of Hearts and Five of Diamonds, damn he was close. "Your bet Harris." The dealer reminded him. Xander grasped some bills from his pile. "Fifty dollars." He tossed the money on top of the growing pile in the center of the table and closed his cards. The burly cowboy grasped the remaining money in front of him and tossed it into the center. "Ok Harris, I'm in."

Mable winked and this time Xander gave a barely perceptible nod. The girl erupted. She slapped the face of the cowboy to her left. "Hey! You lousy two bit bum!" She shrieked. "What kind of a girl do you think I am?" The startled cowboy raised his hands sending his drink crashing and sloshing to the floor, he staggered back sending more drinks flying. "You want to cop a feel, you pay for it, I don't do no volunteer work!" Mable kicked him in the shins and slapped at him with her hands, other cowboys tried to pull her off. As expected everyone at the table turned to view the commotion except Xander, he took an Ace of Clubs from his shirt sleeve and swapped it with the Five of Diamonds and by the time the men turned back, he was engrossed in watching as Mable was placated and the cowboy had a free drink. The dealer looked at him. "Whatcha got Harris?"

"Full House," he slapped the cards down on the table. "Aces over Kings," he smirked. The cowboys groaned and tossed down their cards. Xander grinned. "Thank you gentlemen." He gathered the money toward him and stood tucking it into his pockets and shirt front. "As they say gentlemen, 'The race is not always to the swift and the battle not always to the strong.' " He fastened up his shirt. "But that's the way it goes. See you next payday." As he turned to leave, the Five of Diamonds fluttered down from his sleeve, and landed with a slap on the floor. Xander blinked. "Somebody drop that?" Silence fell like a guillotine. "You did, you son of a bitch!" Burly drew a gun, the dealer scrambled to safety and the saloon bayed for blood. Eager hands grabbed the young cowboy. "Hold it, hold it!" Xander raised his hands as the saloon fell silent. "Let's not get carried away with blood lust. Where, gentlemen is our cup of human kindness?"

They carried him from the saloon struggling and along the street toward the hanging tree, with the noose hung grimly from a branch. People joined the crowd, eager to witness a hanging. A buckboard was thoughtfully provided and led under the tree, his hands were tied behind his back and he was lifted on board. A distraught Mable pushed her way to the front. "In your final minute Xander honey, I want to you remember you was the only man ever got it for free." The noose was placed around his neck. "I'll bear that in mind Mable."

There was a volley of gunfire and pounding of hooves as Ethan Rayne and his sons thundered into town in a cloud of dust. People shouted, screamed and scattered. "It's the Rayne gang! Git the sheriff!" Someone shouted. "We can't he's fishin' in the creek." Came the reply.

Jesse Rayne took aim and fired at the rope severing it, the noose still around Xander's neck. The deputy sprinted out of the jail and took aim at Ethan with his rifle, the weasel faced outlaw shot him dead. Silence fell. Danny Rayne leapt from his horse, knife in hand and cut Xander's hands free, Warren and Danny grabbed his legs and carried him to Jesse's horse and shoved him on behind Jesse. They mounted up and began to gallop out of town, a confused and bewildered Xander clinging to Jesse as he bounced along. Xander placed two fingers in his mouth and gave a shrill whistle. "Jack! Black Jack!" He shouted and whistled again. A black horse poked his head cautiously out of a side street. "Jack, Jack c'mon boy!" Xander urged. The horse pricked his ears and squinted at the retreating gang. Where on Earth did Xander think he was going this time? Jack shrugged and broke into a gallop after the retreating gang.
9th-Nov-2009 11:32 am (UTC)
So they saved him from a hanging, but why? Has he already stolen their money and they want to kill him themselves? You've got my little brain whirring already. Great job!
9th-Nov-2009 09:35 pm (UTC)
Ethan and his boys aren't the types to be altruistic, they sure as Hell want Xander for something. Hee

Edited at 2009-11-09 09:35 pm (UTC)
9th-Nov-2009 05:02 pm (UTC)
Oh Black Jack is a smart horse!! I like this and I like that Xander doesn't has to die so early in this fic. Thanks for sharing.
9th-Nov-2009 09:36 pm (UTC)
Jack is very smart, if rather near sighted!

Edited at 2009-11-09 09:36 pm (UTC)
9th-Nov-2009 07:25 pm (UTC)
Oh this is intriguing. I like that this is set in the old west, makes a change. I'm looking forward to more and I love the banner.
9th-Nov-2009 09:38 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you like the banner. I love cowboy fics and thought about doing Butch Cassidy and The Sundance kid, but I would have changed the end.
9th-Nov-2009 07:44 pm (UTC)
Yeehawwwwww! Xander got rescued and has a smart horse. Way to start a story. Giddyup!
9th-Nov-2009 09:38 pm (UTC)
If only he'd listen to the horse!
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