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The Duke And The Dirtwater Fox 
17th-Nov-2009 11:22 am
Title: The Duke And The Dirtwater Fox (A VERY LOOSE S/X adaptation of the movie The Duchess And The Dirtwater Fox)
Warnings: HAU, M/M sex, humour, mild violence, swearing, angst, OOC, vague mentions of het sex, prostitution, varying chapter lengths. UNBETA'D. A little use of movie dialogue and songs.
Rating: NC17 overall, various chapters PG-NC17
Pairing: 100% S/X (With vague reference to X/OC, S/OC pre meeting.)
Author: Naughty_Fae
Comments: Comment if you want to, though it would be nice to know someone is reading it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to someone who is not me. I write for fun not profit.

AN 1: Although Sunnydale characters have been used they are NOT necessarily in their Sunnydale persona's.

Note 1: This is set in the West of the 1880's, and it is not meant to be historically accurate. It mentions both the Mormon and Jewish faiths. This is fiction, it is a comedy, no disrespect is meant to either faith.

Note 2: My heartfelt thanks go out to my dear friend Bmblbee, for holding my hand through the writing and posting process. *Hugs*

Note 3: This is a plot driven story. What sex there is happens in the natural course of the plot and as part of Spike and Xander's relationship.

Summary: Xander Harris is a young, charismatic cowboy making his way gambling, petty thieving, womanizing and occasionally rustling through life. When he 'accidentally' steals $40,000 from the hapless Rayne gang, he and his clumsy, near-sighted horse Black Jack are forced to go on the run. He ends up in San Francisco, where he meets the handsome Englishman Spike 'Duke' Quaid, whore, con artist, bar tender and Saloon entertainer and their lives will never be the same.

Chapter 9/18 + Epilogue

Rating: NC17 Overall

Chapter 9/18 + Epilogue

Rating: NC17 Overall

'You can't hurry love'

The Rayne gang sat on the ridge and watched as the stage wound it's way along the road below. They'd seen Jack galloping riderless and guessed Xander must have gotten onto the stage. Ethan waited until the stage drew level with them and dropped his arm. "Now boys!" The gang pushed boulders off the ridge, and they bounced and tumbled down the steep, rocky incline towards the road and the stage below. The boulders gathered rock and loose shale as they went and the rumble drew the driver's attention upward. He saw the avalanche of rock coming and urged the horses faster. The stage gathered speed and rocked, swayed and bounced along. "We're making good time." Xander commented.

The driver realized he couldn't outrun the rock fall and leapt from his seat, bouncing and rolling down the incline and out of sight. The horses ran free and the coach began to lurch wildly. They came to a turn in the road, the horses turned, but the stage was going too fast, the traces and chains broke and the horses turned and galloped on down the road. The stage went straight on, left the road and began to bounce and career wildly down a rocky slope.

Andrew frowned. "This road is very bumpy." Xander smiled. "Probably a short cut." Andrew leaned across him. "Excuse me." He looked out the window and his eyes bulged and his jaw dropped. The stage was heading straight off the edge of a cliff. He opened the door. Xander blinked at him. "Where are you going?"

"This is where ien flunky gets off, au revoir." He jumped.

Xander stared at Spike. "Did he seem kind of nervous to you?" Spike lent across and looked out the window, saw the rapidly approaching cliff edge, grabbed Xander's hand and yelled. "Jump!"


Spike jumped pulling Xander with him, They landed in the dust, bounced and rolled and watched as the stage pitched over the cliff and disappeared from view. They crawled to the edge and peered down at what remained of the stage smashed in the creek bed below. Xander looked at Spike. "That's a hell of a short cut."

Spike snorted.

Xander struggled to his feet. "What do we do now?"

"How the fucking hell should I know?" Spike glared and lurched to his feet. Xander grinned. "Goodbye Duke, hello Spike."

Spike dusted himself off. "I gotta get to Salt Lake City, I got a million dollar trick waiting there." Xander blinked at him. "And just how do you figure that? Guy's a Mormon."


"Well he's a religious type, sticking it to another guy is a big no, no. I thought you had some kind of scam going."

"The way he was looking at me, I'll be fighting him off."

Xander chuckled. "If I'd known the deal depended on you getting a Mormon to pound your ass, I never would have made it."

"I can do it, I can get anyone I want!" Spike huffed.

"Well you're on your own I'll just take my money and go." Xander looked over the cliff. "Damn that's a long climb down."

"Whatcha want to climb down there for?"

Xander rolled his eyes. "To get my bag, the one with the money."

Spike put his hands on his hips. "You're making a hell of a lot of fuss over two hundred and fifty dollars."

"Two hundred...."

"Anyway it's a hundred and eighty now, I spent sixty five on the suit and five on a Bible."

"There was forty thousand dollars in that bag."

Spike laughed. "Did you bang your head? There was two hundred and fifty and your dirty laundry."

Xander took a step forward. "There was forty thousand in a secret compartment in the bottom of the bag." Spike stopped laughing. "Forty thousand?"

"Forty thousand in the bottom."

"Of the bag?"

Xander nodded.

"Fuck!" Spike sat heavily on a rock.

"Perhaps when I come back up, right now I need to climb down to the bag." Xander straightened his hat. Spike looked at him. "It's not there."
"What do you mean, it's not there?" Xander's eyes narrowed. "Whatcha done with it?"

Spike shrugged. "Nothing. It went ahead with the other luggage, must be in Virginia City by now." A movement caught Xander's eye. "Aww no! That's all I need." The Rayne gang were coming down the ridge above. "I gotta get out of here and get to Virginia City." Xander put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. Spike scowled. "What's wrong?"

"Those are the guys I accidentally stole the money from."

Jack appeared and Xander caught the reins. "Ok Spike get on the horse." Spike didn't move. "I'm not getting on any near-sighted horse."

"Fine," Xander swung into the saddle. "Have a nice life, I hope you make it to Salt Lake." Spike leapt to his feet. "You can't go." Xander squinted. "Uh?"

"I have to sign for the bag, you can't get it without me." Xander grinned, sure I can, just forge your name."

"You don't know my second name."

"Sure I do, Covent-Garden."

"No dummy," Spike laughed. "my real name."

Xander thought for a moment and then swung out of the saddle. "Fine, get on the damn horse." Spike backed away. "Ask nicely."

Xander strode towards the blond, grabbed hold of him and pulled him to the horse; picked him up and deposited him in the saddle. He swung up behind him and put his arms around his waist and gathered up the reins. "Please."

Spike grinned.

They jogged along. "How come you're in America Spike?" Xander asked.
Spike shrugged. "Believe it or not me dad was a fruiterer in Covent Garden, kept banging on about me going into the business, but it wasn't what I wanted. When I was about fifteen I'd 'ad enough. Went down the docks, stowed away on the first ship I came to. By the time they found me, they were too far out to sea to turn back. Captain let me work my passage." Xander chuckled. "Can't see you as a sailor."

"Wasn't that type of work." Spike grinned. "Eventually ended up in New York and made my way West."


Spike shrugged. "Heard stories about it, wanted to see for myself, been drifting around ever since. What about you Xander?"

"My pa was the sheriff in a small town called Sunnydale, my mom taught school. When I was six he went and got himself killed, mom was as mad as a wet hen. Three years later mom married again, a preacher man. Believed in 'spare the rod and spoil the child' if you know what I mean." Spike nodded, Xander sighed. "When I was fourteen a cattle drive came through, when it left so did I. One of the cowboys took me under his wing, taught me to play cards and survive. Been drifting around ever since."

"Guess we're two of a kind."

Xander nodded.

"But why do you want to go to Australia?" Spike questioned. Xander shrugged. "Read about it, seems like there's plenty of opportunities there for me an' Jack. What about you Spike? You got any ambitions? Spike grinned. "I'd like to settle down somewhere peaceful open a saloon and music hall, bed down with one bloke and give up turning tricks." Xander nodded.

They rode on steadily into the late afternoon.
17th-Nov-2009 11:40 am (UTC)
Another fun installment. I liked Andrews' little farewell. Clever little
18th-Nov-2009 09:53 am (UTC)
I think he understood every word!
17th-Nov-2009 01:51 pm (UTC)
I am really enjoying this fic! its loads of fun and quite frankly, I would love to see a sequel set in Australia.. particularly, the Goldrush era in Sovereign Hill and the other goldfield towns. I can just see Xander panning for gold in a little squat town while Spike slowly goes mad from teh lack of 'culture'.. throw in some opium addiction.. some domestic arguments and voila! Sequel! Since I'm an Aussie, I would be happy to lend you a hand there.
18th-Nov-2009 09:55 am (UTC)
I really don't know much about Australia at this time, despite counting Josie H as one of my dearest friends! I must admit though it sounds imtreaguing1
17th-Nov-2009 07:47 pm (UTC)
Well, the money is still missing and the race is still on and they are still together. What a fun chapter....just great.
18th-Nov-2009 09:55 am (UTC)
Fun's hardly started.
17th-Nov-2009 08:11 pm (UTC)
Great update! Exciting and funny! Thanks for sharing! I enjoyed it very much.
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