Warnings: Strong reference to M/M sexual activity
Summary and disclaimer: This submission is for the Nekid Spike
perverted fairy tale challenge. It is a rewrite of the James Whitcomb Riley
poem "Little Orphan Annie". The Bee gives full credit to Mr. Riley, although
he is dead and won't care, and apologizes for the twisted redo. I also
give credit to whoever owns the page the poem was posted on although I
couldn't find a name.
The original poem can be found here:
Little Orphan Spikey
Little orphan Spikey's come to Xan's house to stay
To suck his cock and poke his arse and teach him how to play
To bite his neck and snick his blood and teach him brand new things
like wheatabix and demon names and blood sauce on chicken wings.
Then, when evenin's late and patrollin's done and all of us is chillin'
We sit around the Slayer's house with beers to make us willin'
to listen to the scary tales that Spike will tell about
and the vampire will get ya if ya don't watch out!
Once there was a boy named Xan who didn't know 'bout bad things.
He thought the world was puppy dogs and pretty golden rings
but then he had to share his flat with a vampire who was scary,
and when they dropped their pants that night, Xan peeked at nuts most hairy.
So when they went to bed at dawn, a way down in the basement,
his mammy heard him holler when the vampire got his cherry.
Then, Xan went to searchin' for, his virginity that was lost.
It wasn't in the school house or library or park.
It wasn't in the Magic box or in the parking lot.
It wasn't anywhere that's out and round-about
and the vampire will get ya if ya don't watch out.
Once there was a little girl with hair all flamin' red
that always messed with magic and spells and words not said
and once she went to Xanny's house and saw the vampire grinnin'
She didn't like the way Xan winked and feared they were sinnin'
The little witch decided then that she would not allow it
she called her friends to bid them come and told them Spike was winnin'.
But when Xan got explicit with the details he would tout
They knew the vampire had got him cause they weren't watching out.
So, when the night is dark and scary,
and the moon is full and creatures are a flying and the wind goes Whoooooooooo,
you better mind your parents and your teachers fond and dear,
and cherish them that loves ya, and dry the orphans tears
and help the poor and needy ones that cluster all about,
or Spike the vampire will fuck ya if ya don't watch out!!!