Warnings: HAU, M/M sex, humour, mild violence, swearing, angst, OOC, vague mentions of het sex, prostitution, varying chapter lengths. UNBETA'D. A little use of movie dialogue and songs.
Rating: NC17 overall, various chapters PG-NC17
Pairing: 100% S/X (With vague reference to X/OC, S/OC pre meeting.)
Comments: Comment if you want to, though it would be nice to know someone is reading it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to someone who is not me. I write for fun not profit.
AN 1: Although Sunnydale characters have been used they are NOT necessarily in their Sunnydale persona's.
Note 1: This is set in the West of the 1880's, and it is not meant to be historically accurate. It mentions both the Mormon and Jewish faiths. This is fiction, it is a comedy, no disrespect is meant to either faith.
Note 2: My heartfelt thanks go out to my dear friend Bmblbee, for holding my hand through the writing and posting process. *Hugs*
Note 3: This is a plot driven story. What sex there is happens in the natural course of the plot and as part of Spike and Xander's relationship.
Summary: Xander Harris is a young, charismatic cowboy making his way gambling, petty thieving, womanizing and occasionally rustling through life. When he 'accidentally' steals $40,000 from the hapless Rayne gang, he and his clumsy, near-sighted horse Black Jack are forced to go on the run. He ends up in San Francisco, where he meets the handsome Englishman Spike 'Duke' Quaid, whore, con artist, bar tender and Saloon entertainer and their lives will never be the same.
Chapter 14/18 + Epilogue
Rating: NC17 Overall
Chapter 14/18 + Epilogue
Rating: NC17 Overall
'You can't hurry love'
The boat's rocking increased and the roaring got louder. Spike reasoned that this was due less to their sexual activities and more to external forces, he peered over the side of the boat. "Bloody Hell!" Spike grabbed his pants and jerked them up. Xander watched him, his fogged, post orgasmic brain failing to work out the reason for the blond's sudden agitation. Spike threw his pants at him. "Put on your fucking pants, quick!" Xander frowned. "Not one for afterglow, Spike?" Spike grabbed his boot and began to manhandle his foot into his pants. Xander sat up, looked over the side and paled. "Shit!" He grabbed his other pants leg and tried to stuff in the other boot.
The quiet river had become a fast, flowing torrent as it hurtled towards some nasty looking rocks and rapids beyond. The water roared, bubbled and churned, it foamed and crashed between rocks, Spike clung to the side of the boat as it gathered speed and began to spin. Xander managing to get both legs into his pants chose this moment to stand up and heave up and fasten his pants. "Sit the fuck down!" Spike yelled as the boat lurched wildly, rocked and then capsized, spewing it's contents into the churning river.
Xander submerged and came up spluttering, Spike spluttered and submerged coming up gasping and arms flailing and splashing. The boat continued it's upside down journey and disappeared from view amongst the rock and foam. Xander saw the bag making a bobbing bid for freedom and set off in pursuit. Wide eyed, Spike shrieked at the top of his lungs. "Where the hell are you going?"
"After the money," Xander replied logically.
"I can't swim!" Spike bellowed as he submerged.
"Neither can the money." Xander retorted, grabbing the bag. He turned back and as Spike reappeared gasping, spluttering and arms waving he grasped the back of his jacket in his other hand and held him up. Xander looked round. "Have you seen my hat?" Spike rolled his eyes and grabbed the sodden hat, waving it in front of Xander, Xander squinted at it. "Are you sure that's mine?" Spike hit him with the hat several times. "Quit hitting me!" Xander complained.
Spike threw his arms round Xander's neck and held on. The truth was the current was strong, the rocks sharp but the water not that deep. Xander managed to get his feet on the bottom. "You'll have to carry me." Spike whined.
"I'm shorter than you!"
Seemed logical to Xander, so he swept Spike up into his arms. As a gesture of good will Spike rammed the sodden hat on Xander's head as he lurched and staggered ashore. "I can't see where I'm going!" Xander protested.
"Don't worry about it, I'll tell you all about it when we get there, left a bit."
Xander tottered ashore and fell to his knees, Spike rolled out of his arms. Xander pushed back his hat and looked up at the tall, green cliff covered with pine trees. "Would you look at that view, it's beautiful."
"I think it stinks."
"Uh?" Xander turned his head. "Oh, you're not looking at what I'm looking at."
"And you're not looking at what I'm looking at."
Xander scooted around on his knees and looked up, Ethan Rayne grinned.
The entire Rayne gang was stood in the rocks a few feet above them, their guns leveled at them, Xander tried to hide the bag. He grinned broadly. "Well howdy boys, sure is nice to see you again." Ethan scowled. "Where's the money?"
"The bank money you stole from us."
"Bank money?" Xander frowned and looked at Spike. "Have you seen any money?" The gang cocked their guns.
"Just give them the Goddamn money!" Spike snapped. Xander huffed and tossed the bag to Ethan, grinning he caught it. "Much obliged," he turned. "now shoot the fucking sons of bitches!" Spike opened his mouth to protest, Danny Rayne beat him to it. "Wait! I got a much better idea." Danny grinned, his brothers and father groaned.
"Now let's just hold on. "Xander interjected. "I think we ought to hear what Danny has to say."
Jesse used a rock to pound the last stake holding Spike's wrist into the ground. They were spread eagled in the dust, wrists and ankles tied securely to stakes. Spike was already bright pink from the blazing sun and Xander had burnt cheeks and cracked lips. "We ought to hear what he has to say," Spike moaned. "genius."
"Hey we're still alive," Xander commented. "would you like it better if they'd blown my head off?"
"Not your head, just your mouth." The gang laughed and then turned and galloped away. The dust made Xander cough and splutter. "You ok there Xander?" Spike asked. "Never had it so good." Xander replied. "But Xander........"
"Shut up, I ain't speaking to you." It was said without venom.
Two hours later Spike hummed 'Hava Nagila' quietly to himself. His face was red and his lips cracked. "I'll have you know the sun's murder on a pale complexion like mine," he croaked. "And it's so good for mine." Xander whispered hoarsely. The sun beat down relentlessly. "Anyway I told you to shut up." Spike gave him two fingers. Xander raised his head and tried to whistle. Spike frowned. "Whatcha doin'?"
"He can chew through the ropes."
"He's long gone, he can't hear you."
"He can too."
"Face it Harris, we're done for."
"We are not, you're some chicken shit person if you give up this easy."
"Don't you yell a me, I'm hot, I'm miserable, and I'm being baked to death."
"C'mon Spike it'll be ok. Tell you what, I've seen 'em come and I've seen 'em go and you're the best damn whore as I've come across."
"Oh boy that's life for you, a bloke has to die before anyone says anything nice about him."