: In the Still of the NightAUTHOR
: Buffy the Vampire SlayerPAIRING
: Spike/Xander GENRE
: Serious IllnessRATING
: PGWORD COUNT
: Spike sits up while Xander sleepsWARNINGS
: X-Posted to 10_hurt_comfort
. This is something new I'm trying, so, I want HONEST opinions. Goes along with Tonight
but you don't need to read them to understand.DISCLAIMER
: You recognize them? I don’t own them.
William the Bloody knows the power of words.
His poetry-badly written-had led him to his initial demise. The words he spoke with a cocky swagger helped him to appear tough-when the reality was the exact opposite.
In all his years though, he had never known could have the power to send his entire world tumbling.I'm...Positive.
Glancing over, Spike realizes that Xander has finally fallen asleep. Smoothing the duvet over him, he is just grateful that Xander is seemingly breathing easier and has stopped crying. He assumes that Xander Is like him and has no more tears to shed.An entire life ahead of him.
Spike thinks, groping on the bedside table. Finding a pamphlet (Your New Life with HIV
) he begins to read statistics and facts until he can finally read no more.
He chooses to rip the pamphlet in two and toss it across the room.
Spike and Xander haven't been a couple in over two years. Their goals in life had just been too different to make it work. They had been best friends since their split- the easiest way to answer the love they had for each other.
He stiffens, watching Xander stir, He breathes when he notices brown eyes gazing up at him. Hold me?
Xander's eyes plead. It's as if he knows that speech is unnecessary.
Spike shifts around, allowing Xander to rest against him. He wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer. Nibbling on his lower lip, Spike begins to run his fingers through Xander's hair.
His gaze shifts to the pill bottles lined up neatly on the dresser. As his gaze drifts back to the man in his arms, he fights off a wave of anger.
This isn't fair.
Xander is young. He should be contemplating his future- not wondering how much of the future he will see.
He thinks he caught it from his last boyfriend- an investment banker named George. The man had always acted secretive and odd when the topic came up. There's been no one else in the past two years other than Spike and Xander knows
it didn't come from him.
Spike can't imagine life without the man in his arms. Even though they haven't been together in a while, he still loves him with every fiber of his being. Life without Xander- he just couldn't imagine it.
He clears his throat as Xander bursts into a fit of coughing. The harder he coughs, the tighter Spike holds him until all is well and he drifts back to sleep.
The moon glows through the blinds. A cricket chirps. Xander noisily breathes, a side effect of his pneumonia.
As Spike stares hard at the wall, he feels Xander stir. Glancing down, he realizes he is awake.
“You're still up?”
“Can't sleep but I'm not leaving you alone, Xan.”
“I'll be fine if you want to take a walk. I'm not going to vanish- Scouts' Honor.”
“You're not and nor have you ever been, a boy scout. One night in won't kill. Not like it's the first night in I've spent with you and I won't leave. Not when you're so ill.”
“I love you.”