I'm looking for this fic, Xander is in his 30ies I think and is a successful construction manager or something like that. I don't remember why but Spike lives with him and they sleep together but I don't remember if it's love. I do remember that at some point, Xander comes back home and finds Spike and Buffy in bed. He leaves and go to Japan and I think Spike finds him again?
They realize that they love each other but I think Xander can't believe it?
EDIT: FOUND! See comments