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|| Bloodclaim ||
You know they're doin' it
22nd-Dec-2009 05:13 am
Title: Mouse
Author: BmblBee
Paring: S/X
Rating: Adult for language and very brief M/M sexual content.
Disclaimer: The Bee owns nothing including the characters and
products named in this fanciful story.

Summary: AU. Xander is living in his own apartment when he
is invaded by a mouse. Although he often faces demons and vampires,
Xander has a particular fear of rodents and therefore enlists Spike to rid
him of the varment. Spike, who has his own aganda, accepts the challenge.

Authors note: This is a very short story that the Bee is offering up to
her loyal and wonderful readers as a Christmas gift of thanks.

Boo Boo Betaed by the patient and gracious Silk_labyrinth

Waves and winks to the wonderful Petxnd for the banner and a hug for her friendship

Xander was a blathering idiot.
More so than usual.

He had paced the hall ranting and raving like a madman. He had thrown
himself against his closed door only to recoil and bounce back as the sounds
of the relentless battle raged on inside. He berated himself cruelly for his
cowardice in sending his vampire in to face the beast alone.

"Shame on you! How could you do it? How could you toss a perfectly good
vampire into a mouse-infested hellhole? What the fuck is wrong with you? I
have handled Flangee demons, smoothly sliced Mt'lofs and never even flinched
when we melted those Smors. What kind of a Scooby am I if I let Mickey
fucking Mouse kick my ass?"

Still pacing throughout the duration of his rant, Xander trooped down to Toothless
Pete's apartment, spun on his heels and he stopped. When he turned back around,
his entire demeanor had shifted. No longer was he the cringing, mouse-whipped
wimp that had run screaming from his home just an hour ago. He was now
transformed into a rodent-killing machine. A superhero who defeats the mice of
the world. He was.........Xander's brain scrambled for a predator who ate mice
and sounded cool. Finally, he punched his fist in the air and shouted for all
the other occupants to hear and fear.

"I am Hawkman!!!"

And with no further hesitation, he flung his arms up and flapped them like wings as he
swooped towards his apartment, screeching and hooting -- which was OK because
owls eat mice too. When he reached his front door, he quickly took the precaution
of tucking his pant legs into his socks to block the mouse's attempts at neutering him.
The little bastard didn't know who he was fucking with. Xander's nuts would be
protected at all costs! Not one wrinkle or hair would that little varmint touch!

Not allowing himself time to second-guess the dangers of his actions, he again whooped,
jerked open his door and lurched inside. What he saw sent icy fingers up and down
his spine. The house had been trashed and there was no sign of the brave and courageous
vampire who had taken on this horrendous task.

Fear gripped Xander's heart and he cursed himself for his stupidity in keeping a cup of
toothpicks in the kitchen. They were just the right size for a cunning mouse to use as a
stake against a wonderful, loyal and sexy-as-fuck vampire. The only thing that gave him
hope was the lack of ash in the mess on the floor. Uncertain in which direction to go,
he suddenly heard a rustling sound in the bedroom.

Xander immediately crouched. Adopting his superhero Hawk persona, he crept
silently towards the area of infestation. He would swoop in, attack, snag the little
bastard by the tail and have him floating like a corn-filled turd towards the city
sewer plant before he knew what hit him.

Launching himself towards the bedroom door, Xander leapt inside shouting.



Spike, who had still been on his hands and knees in the closet, immediately jumped to
his feet, whirled around and began karate chopping the air to fend off this sudden
attack. When he saw it was Xander, he stopped. Xander also froze in his tracks.

The vampire was naked. He was pale, smooth, muscular and had a looong hoodie
on his cock. Suddenly, one point in the midst of all this laundry list of what-the-fucks
stood out most and Xander pointed an accusing finger.

"Hey! That's my cowboy hat!"

Spike blinked. He wasn't worried. He knew he was in a battle of wits with an
unarmed man and with the hat perched on his head, it was time to ride this pony
into the corral.

"Why, yes, it is and thank god you had it. After the battle raged unchecked in
the living room and kitchen, I knew this was no ordinary mouse. This had
to be an offspring of the famous Mighty Mouse!"

Xander smacked his fist on the palm of his hand.

"Of course! I should have known! So, how did you do it Spike? How did you
defeat the fucking thing?"

Spike casually kicked the porn tapes back into the closet and he sauntered over
to hop up on the bed. He patted the space beside him and Xander hurried over to
join him and hear this tale of adventure. For the next five minutes, Spike wove
a web of fantastic lies that held Xander's rapt attention. It was a detailed story
of how the fight had taken them through the house as the mouse repeatedly tried
to escape only to have the vampire again and again suss out its hiding places.

Finally, Spike explained, because this was a mouse of super intelligence, it was
going to take cunning to defeat him. Ergo, the cowboy hat. By convincing the
rodent that Spike was about to drive a herd of stampeding Texas Longhorns
through the apartment, he scared the mouse into leaving the building.

"But why are you naked?"

"Little fucker ripped off my clothes trying to get to my nuts."


Xander was overwhelmed with gratitude. Before he could consider the advisability
of his actions, he threw himself overtop the naked man and began covering his face
in kisses accentuated with a litany of thank yous. When he felt the hoodie twitch
against his leg, Xander froze. He drew back and looked into the smirking face
beneath him. At the same time, a tiny bell rang in the back of Xander's brain that
registered 100%!

Xander blinked. Should he run? Should he apologize? Should he give himself
final rites in preparation for dismemberment? Xander was not as slow witted as
he appeared. He did the only logical thing. He flopped over onto his back and
began fumbling with his buttons and zipper. Spike threw himself into the game
and did his best to help.

"Wait, let me....."
"No, not like that. Just rip the fucking thing."
"Ow, ow, ow.....that was hair! Let me lift up and......."
"Dora the Explorer underwear? Jesus, Xan, that's nearly a deal breaker."
"Nearly? I can work with those odds."
"Get the damn things off and.........oh, very nice, pet!"

By now, both men were hard as a rock. Xander laid flat on his back wearing nothing
but a pair of black socks and a sheepish grin as Spike evaluated the weight and
girth of the boy's tool. As his thumb and forefinger slid loosely up and down the fat
shaft, Spike's screen door slammed shut in anticipation of the delicious agony that
this thing would cause. The chip prevented giving pain but not getting it and sometimes
that was all right too.

"Oh, that feels good, but you are the hero here, Spike. Shouldn't I be doing stuff
for you?"

Spike laid back and began to stroke himself while his attentive audience gave his
own standing ovation. Entranced, Xander stared as each down-tug of Spike's
hand caused the skin to pull back and the fat head to pop up, smiling and drooling.
It was like a perverted game of peek-a-boo that had Xander all giddy waiting for the
next time Jack jumped out of the box.

"I believe you should, pet. Why don't you come here and give your hero a big ol'
wet kiss to start things off?"

It was the shot of the starter's pistol that Xander had been waiting on. He immediately
and unexpectedly launched himself on top of the smaller man, pressing his body
into the mattress and pinning Spike's hand, which still held his cock, between them.

With unrestrained enthusiasm, Xander slammed their mouths together causing their
teeth to clack, cutting Xander's lip, which in turn sent a sizzling warning from Spike's
chip. When the taste of the boy's blood hit Spike's tongue, the pain was forgotten and
his own frenzy began. Frantically, he tried to pull his hand from between them only to
discover that it was stirring the most wonderful friction against both their erections.

Believing that it was being done intentionally, Xander went all out engrossed in his
favorite fantasy. He grabbed the hat off Spike's head and slapped it on his own as his
hips took on a ferocity and he grabbed the headboard and shouted,

"WEE HA! Ride 'em cowboy! Giddy-up you ornery little bronco!"

Spike threw his legs around Roy Rogers' waist and he held on for dear life.

"Oh, FUCK! Yes! Xander! Yes!"

As the strain on the bedsprings increased and the headboard slammed repeatedly
against the wall, Luffton, the mouse shot from his hiding place directly under the hub
of the activity and he watched in horror as the two huge, strange men bounced several
more times before tumbling from the bed, landing with a resounding thump onto
the floor and shooting frightening amounts of a white sticky substance in every
direction as they shouted and flailed about.

It was all too much. Luffton didn't care how good the food was here, he knew
when he was beat. As long as these two lived here together, he would have to find
other digs. With one last look at the horrible creatures who were now cuddling and
cooing, Luffton packed his bags and scurried away, relieved that he still had his
manhood intact.

His mother had always warned him that humans and vampires went for the nuts first
and, from what he had just seen, it must be true. Nope, there was no way he could
be expected to live with vile, despicable creatures like this. They deserved each other.

"Wow, that was great, Spike. Damn, I'm a mess. You too. What say we go take a
shower and get all soapy and slippery together?"

Xander waggled his eyebrows as Spike looked up toward the ceiling and scratched
his ass thoughtfully.

"Um, about the bathroom, Love......"



Future spoiler: We have not seen the last of Luffton!
Hope you enjoyed the story. Our January tale is a follow-up
to Carnivale Mystique. If you haven't read it. No sweat.
There will be a short prologue that hits the high points.

Till then. Happy Holiday's and love from the Bee!!
22nd-Dec-2009 11:54 am (UTC)
"handled Flangee demons, smoothly sliced Mt'lofs and never even flinched
when we melted those Smors."

Brilliant play on words.

Love and Happy Holidays to you too Lady B.
22nd-Dec-2009 12:06 pm (UTC)
May Santa stick his large head in your chimney and bring you a sack full of joy!! See ya soon.
22nd-Dec-2009 01:33 pm (UTC)
LOL! Poor Luffton!

On the other hand, Spike & Xander are together so it's all good.
22nd-Dec-2009 05:14 pm (UTC)
They are together and never fear, Luffton will be back.
And this time it's personal!
22nd-Dec-2009 01:59 pm (UTC)
Spike and Xander are so cute!
22nd-Dec-2009 05:11 pm (UTC)
They really are!
22nd-Dec-2009 02:09 pm (UTC)
Okay that was just so funny. Xander - Hawkman, way to ride that Cowboy...uh vamp. Cindy Lee
22nd-Dec-2009 05:11 pm (UTC)
You know damn well if you had some spurs,
a lasso and a saddle, you would be riding this pony
in to the sunset!
22nd-Dec-2009 02:48 pm (UTC)
"Spike blinked. He wasn't worried. He knew he was in a battle of wits with an
unarmed man and with the hat perched on his head, it was time to ride this pony
into the corral."

*grins* God, I love your turns of phrase!
22nd-Dec-2009 05:08 pm (UTC)
My brain is a scary place and when it attaches to my keyboard,
only God knows what the hell will roll out.
22nd-Dec-2009 02:59 pm (UTC)
Hawkman had me rolling. Xander flapping around and hooting like an owl made me laugh so hard I think my abs are never going to be the same.

Great fic.

22nd-Dec-2009 05:00 pm (UTC)
I am delighted to have caused you a chuckle pain. Now if you
ever have a mouse problem you know who to call. Hawkman!!
22nd-Dec-2009 09:15 pm (UTC)
*giggle* This was so funny! I'm still chuckling while I'm writing this. Dora the Explorer underwear?! *snort*

P.S. I hope you and all your loved ones have a wonderful holiday. :)
22nd-Dec-2009 09:38 pm (UTC)
If I have you snorting and giggling, I count this one a success.

Happy Holiday and Best wishes for the New Year!!
23rd-Dec-2009 03:19 am (UTC)
Owww! Hot chocolate out the nose and near the computer. Thank god I missed the keyboard or I would not be able to type my thanks for the laughs. Does that make me a masochist?
23rd-Dec-2009 09:21 am (UTC)
No but it does make you a chocoholic.
No problem. I have an addiction to the stuff myself.
When necessary, I will try to issue snort warnings
so you can't step away from the cocoa before you hurt
23rd-Dec-2009 02:05 pm (UTC)
"Vengence is mine," sayeth the mouse.................... Hee Luffton escapes to fight another day. Wonderful story. *Hugs*
23rd-Dec-2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
I couldn't have put it better myself! Thanks, sweety,
I couldn't do it without you.
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