bmblbee (bmblbee) wrote in bloodclaim,
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Count Luffton

Title: COUNT LUFFTON
13/26
Author: BmblBee
Paring: S/X, AU
Rating: Adult NC17 for language and M/M sexual content.
Disclaimer: The Bee owns nothing including the characters and
products named in this story.
Warnings: Sex, violence and character death. Yes, the mouse
dies.
Summary: This story is a followup to Mouse but it is not necessary
to have read it. Xander brings Spike home to kill a mouse.
The mouse escaped and Spike stayed for the fun, games
and conflicts that S/X always get up to. One night Spike
gets more than a little drunk and does something stupid.

Comments: The last few stories have been drama and trauma. I felt
we needed some lighthearted fluff, comedy and stupidity.

Thanks to: Petxnd for her preread and suggestions and to Silk Labyrinth
for her betaing of boo boos. It should be noted that if any
irregularities remain it is due to the Bee's bullheadedness.






The rest of the evening was nothing like Xander had envisioned it would be.
His big announcement had not morphed into the sexually charged coming out
party that his brain had conceived. It had instead been overshadowed by the
not-altogether-welcome addition of a vampire mouse to their happy home.

No matter how often he tried to switch gears, the subject of the day's
conversation continually returned to the magnificent Luffton. It floated from
'Isn't his hair slick? Do you think it is because he is a vamp?' to 'Maybe he
needs a vamp brother or sister.' At which point Xander put his foot down
and Spike immediately agreed that that might be a bit excessive.

At supper, Xander found himself eating his half of the bean and weenie casserole
while the other half sat cold. Spike chose instead to warm a mug of blood and
make quite a showing of pouring some into a small saucer for the demon rodent,
then giggled insanely at the tiny pink tongue that lapped it up.

To Xander, Spike was acting as though the damn mouse had learned to sing,
dance and spin sheep shit into gold.

By now the only thing left to surprise Xander was the fact that Spike didn't
go the extra step of lighting candles, popping Barry Manilow on the radio and
tossing a cotton bar cloth over his forearm before bowing deeply like the
manservant he apparently was becoming.

No, supper was not at all what Xander had fantasized about on the drive home.
He did, however, still have high hopes that the rest of the evening could be
salvaged.

After stacking the dishes in the sink, they all three retired to the living room to
watch a movie, and things went from bad to worse. Xander suggested Die Hard.
Spike countered that the loud explosions would hurt the mouse's tiny ears. Xander
suggested Jurassic Park and Spike complained that Luffton would be unable to
follow the plot. After receiving no real answer to his "What fucking plot? It's
dinosaurs for god's sake!" comment, Xander then dug through his collection
and acerbically asked, "Ben?"

Spike scowled.

"Very funny, love. Actually Xan, since it is getting late and you have to get up
early for work, I thought maybe Luffton and I would go out for a bit. You
know it is never to soon to teach him the ways of a vamp on the prowl. I
thought we might swing by the cemetery then on towards town."

Xander's mouth dropped open.

"Out? Without me? Why can't I go with you?"

Xander didn't care that he sounded childish and whiny. He was being abandoned.
Fucking Luffton was winning and Xander was frantic to find some way to
intercede.

"Wait, I have an idea. I have some vacation time. Why don't I call off for
a couple days and we can train him together."

Spike stood and stretched his arms high over his head. He calmly reached
down and scooped up the vamp mouse and dropped him onto his assigned
spot on the vampire's shoulder. He then patted Xander's cheek in a very
condescending manner.

"No need, love. This could be time consuming. I thought I would take him to
the park later and teach him about stalking a rabbit. After that, we will work
on the best places to hide if he ever gets caught out during the daylight.
There are just a million responsibilities involved in raising a mousy childe,
Xander. Being a human, (Xander clearly heard the unspoken 'lowly human')
you have no idea how intensive this might get. Really, love, there is no need
for you to wait up for us. If we get in late, we can just sleep on the couch."

Xander flinched on each "we" in that statement and he desperately tried again.

"NO. I wanna go too!"

Spike chuckled and readjusted his mouse. Luffton snuffled his master's neck
affectionately and wondered why they were even bothering with this worthless
human. Glancing out the window, Spike decided they were wasting moonlight
and he was ready to go.

"Don't be silly, love. With another mouth to feed, this is not the time to be
bringing in a short paycheck."

Xander frowned as he watched the look of bliss in Spike's glorious blue
eyes while Spike gazed at his happy fledge. The same eyes that used to
look at him like that were now focused on the brown, flea-infested rodent.
Xander growled.

"So that's how you intend to spend your time from now on? Ignoring me and
pampering......HIM?"

Spike tipped his head and sucked his teeth at the challenge.

"Not like I have a lot else to do during the nights when you are either sleeping
or off with your friends. The same friends who know nothing about us."

The accusation stung like a slap in the face. More so because Xander knew it
was not without merit. Still, he was not ready to be agreeable.

"Hey, I took the first step. I told everyone at work about you. I don't get any
credit for that? Besides, what about patrolling? Am I supposed to tell them
that you have more important things to do? Is teaching a mouse to suck a
bunny's neck really how you want to spend your nights?"

Spike huffed in disgust.

"If it isn't I shall retire to Sussex and keep bees."

Xander shook his head and held up his hands in the universal sign of
'What the fuck?'

Spike sneered with superiority.

"Sorry, I forgot. Literary reference is not your strong point. That happens to
be a famous line from Sherlock Holmes."

Xander pulled himself up to his full height and he gave a snort of his own.

"Oh, yeah? Well how's this for a famous quote? 'I hate meeces to pieces!'
As spoken by Jinx the cat."

Spike took a step back. His brow wrinkled as he shook his head in confusion.
He was in no small measure ticked off at the hostility towards his precious offspring
but more than that, he was totally befuddled by a statement so without grammatical
correction.

"Wot? Who?"

Xander was stunned that Spike was apparently ignorant of a cartoon character of
Jinx's notoriety and fame.

"You never heard of Jinx? Or Pixie and Dixie? Jesus, Spike. Have you been
living under a rock?"

Spike glared. He put his hands on his hips and Luffton showed a couple fangs
as he tasted the discord floating in the air. He hoped that his master would
soon check this bug of a creature so they could be on their way. Spike felt
the same.

"Well, I used to but I thought I had a new address. It appears I may be
mistaken. The fact is, Xander, if my mouse is not welcome, I am not
welcome. Maybe you better take the time while we are gone this evening
to decide."

Xander's breath hitched. It had been his worst fear that Spike would leave
him, but he always thought it would be over his reluctance to admit their
relationship to his friends or over Spike's slovenly habits or even because
of that thing Xander did when he clipped his toenails. He never would
have believed the demise of their coupleness would be due to the very
rodent that had originally brought them together.

Xander stepped forward. All anger drained from him and he wanted just a
few more minutes to discuss this.

"Wait. Spike, can't we just......."
"ENK!"

Spike's hand shot up, his palm directly in front of Xander's face.

"Good night, Xander. Oh, and I think a nice first step would be for you to say
good night to Luffton."

"WHAT?"

Before Xander's brain could organize the long list of obscenities into a somewhat
logical sentence, Spike snorted and they were gone. Xander stood staring at
the closed door and finally stuck his tongue out and shouted.

"This is not over, Luffton! Not by a long shot!"
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