bmblbee (bmblbee) wrote in bloodclaim,

Count Luffton

Author: BmblBee
Paring: S/X, AU
Rating: Adult NC17 for language and M/M sexual content.
Disclaimer: The Bee owns nothing including the characters and
products named in this story.
Warnings: Sex, violence and character death. Yes, the mouse
Summary: This story is a followup to Mouse but it is not necessary
to have read it. Xander brings Spike home to kill a mouse.
The mouse escaped and Spike stayed for the fun, games
and conflicts that S/X always get up to. One night Spike
gets more than a little drunk and does something stupid.

Comments: The last few stories have been drama and trauma. I felt
we needed some lighthearted fluff, comedy and stupidity.

Thanks to: Petxnd for her preread and suggestions and to Silk Labyrinth
for her betaing of boo boos. It should be noted that if any
irregularities remain it is due to the Bee's bullheadedness.

Xander was fit to be tied.

It had only been a little over an hour since Spike and the wretched Luffton
had walked out but it already seemed like ages ago. If he had been honest
with himself, Xander would have admitted he expected something like this
to happen.

The cold fact was, Xander was the hang-nail on life's rabbit foot. He was
the pimple on the supermodel's bare ass in a swimsuit shoot. He was
the glitch in any situation that one would have thought glitchless.

Whenever something good fell into Xander's lap and promised to fill his
world with sunshine, puppies and a universe of free snack cakes, something
bad always rose up from nowhere to ruin it. It was a given.

But he had hoped and prayed that this time would be different.

They had been happy. Deliriously happy. At least that's what Xander thought.
The last few weeks that he and the sinfully frisky vampire had been together
had been the best of Xander's young life. Oh sure, Spike was a ruthless,
dishonest and slovenly vampire, but shit, no one was perfect. And the chip
was his insurance policy that Spike wouldn't go berserk and massacre the
entire town of Sunnydale. Although he often threatened to.

So yes, they had been happy. Cozy even. But that was before. Before the
arrival of the nefarious...


Xander spat out the word as though it were covered in acid. Whoever heard of
a vampire mouse anyway? It was an abomination! It was a crime against the
decent and acceptable world of demons and humans.

Xander wanted to be angry at Spike for his part in this betrayal but found it
hard. After all, Spike had come home injured. He no doubt had been attacked
in his moment of weakness when the wretched, scheming Luffton had thrown
himself against one of Spike's fangs, allowed his blood to fill Spike's nearly
unconscious mouth and then, as the vile rodent tumbled lifeless to the floor, he
scraped a claw across Spike's arm and caught the blood as it dripped from the
innocent vampire's sleeping form. Clearly, Luffton had vamped himself. If
vamping were sex, Luffton was a wanker!

"Damn that Luffton! And now Spike feels responsible for a situation that was
in no way his fault."

Xander now added fuming to his pacing, and he knew he had to come up with a
plan to defeat this dangerous adversary. His brain conjured up pictures of
elaborate traps that lured the rodent in, then fell like dominoes to ultimately trap
and dispose of him. Xander's eyes flashed. He could patent it and make a fortune.
No vampire mouse in the world would be safe once Xander the Magnificent drew
up the blueprints.


Xander's plans for world domination were suddenly interrupted by the pounding
on the door, and for a brief moment his heart filled with hope that Spike had
returned, mouseless. Unfortunately, it was the two people he did not want to
deal with right now.

"Oh, hey Buff. Hey Willow. What's up?"

The two women interpreted 'hey' as meaning, 'Please come in. Sit down. Make
yourself at home.' So they did. Buffy headed for the kitchen where she grabbed
a soda, and Willow made a less than subtle beeline for the small table inside his
front door where his mail was stacked. She quickly and efficiently flipped
through it to discern her best friend's personal and financial situation.

Two second notices, one catalog from Cabela's, an invitation to join Netflix
and a magazine still tightly wrapped in brown paper. Willow casually but
purposefully hooked her fingernail under the corner of the wrapper and began
to pick. Just as a fraction of a colorful cover began to reveal itself, the package
was snatched from her hand.

"So, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure? What can I do for you ladies?"

Willow sheepishly left her unfulfilled curiosity on the table and she sat on the
couch. Before she had the chance to answer, Buffy strolled in. She took a big
gulp of the last can of Xander's 7-Up and she belched.

"BRACHHHH! Oops, sorry. Actually we aren't here for you. We had a call
from Giles of a strange attack in the cemetery tonight and we were looking for

Xander jumped to his feet in his vampire's defense.

"You think Spike did it? How could he? You just can't be accusing innocent
vampires of....."

Buffy looked at him strangely.

"Chill, Xan. Nobody's accusing the neutered vamp of anything. I just wanted
him to go over there and kill what ever did it. The guy that got attacked was big
as the side of a barn and he told the cops that he can't remember what got him.
We know it wasn't a vampire cause there were no marks on his neck. He had
a dog with him and the dog wasn't eaten so we are sure it wasn't a Katze demon.
So, Spike needs to scamper over there and check it out. We just haven't been
able to find him and wondered if you had seen him."

Xander scowled at the cavalier way Buffy was assigning tasks.

"Why is it Spike's job? Aren't you the slayer?"
Willow jumped to her feet, astounded that her friend would challenge Buffy's

"Xander! Wow, that sounded way rude. Of course she is the slayer and as such,
since she has a date tonight and a brand new mini skirt on, she can't possibly be
out there scuffing about in the dirt of a graveyard. She might get mud up her skirt
and you know what your mother says, always wear clean underwear when you
go out. I mean, what would happen if......"

"Yeah, yeah, I get the picture. So what makes you think Spike is here?"

Buffy wrinkled her nose in distaste and glanced around. She doubted that even
a vampire used to living in a hole in the ground would lower himself to live in a
dump like this.

"I don't. I just thought you might have seen him. He has really been scarce the
last few weeks."

Xander flushed with a warmth that drew a blush to his cheeks and he turned away
so they wouldn't see. A little voice in the back of his head whispered that this
would be the perfect segue into a total sexual and species confession. Just lay it
all on the line and let the chips fall where they may. The girls had moved on with
their lives, didn't Xander have the right to do the same?

'This is it,' he told himself with authority. 'Do it. Do it NOW!'

Xander stood and faced them. He took a deep breath. Then he blew it back out.

"Nope. Haven't seen him."

'AAAHHH! You fucking coward!' Xander berated himself viciously for his
rubbery backbone. In the back of his mind, though, was another question that
he wanted to ask but frankly feared the answer to.

"Just out of curiosity, Buff, how come Spike always comes when you call?"

Buffy and Willow both laughed conspiratorially and Buffy flipped her blond
hair back.

"Because I got it like that. Haven't you noticed, Xan? Spike wants me. He
REALLY wants me and if I ask him to do certain favors for me, he thinks that
gets him one step closer to sniffing the lace on my thong. Who knows. He is
sexy for a vamp. One of these days I might feel generous and give him a tumble.
But for now, I just want him to go kill a demon so, if you haven't seen him, I guess
I'll try down by his crypt again."

With nothing further to discuss, the girls headed for the door and Xander was left
feeling even more sour than before. At the last second, he ran and shouted down
the hallway to their retreating backs.

"If you find Spike and there is a mouse with him, KILL THE MOUSE!!"

He then slammed the door and began again pacing. Damn, now he had double
the competition. This was getting complicated!

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