Rating: Adult for language and sexual content
Disclaimer: The Bee owns none of the characters or products named
in this story, however the plot and words are her own.
Warning: Violence (nongraphic) and strong M/M sexual content.
Summary: OCD Spike is back! It has been a year since Xander and
Spike met in Rough Diamond and they have been living and working
together ever since. As an anniversary present, Xander takes a reluctant
Spike on a gay ocean cruise and everything, including murder, goes with
Appreciation to: Petxnd for her wonderful banner and patient preread
and to Silk_ Labyrinth for her beta. Any remaining boo-boos are the
result of the Bee's stubbornness.
Thanks to Petxnd for the wonderful banner and the faithful friendship.
Spike remained aloof. He sniffed and hoisted up the large inconvenience of
the black suitcase that Xander had so rudely left behind and he grudgingly
stepped toward the huge, wide gangplank. As he walked, he gave every
indication that he was totally oblivious to the wild hilarity and crazy party
atmosphere that swirled around him.
He cringed and slightly flinched each time someone came dangerously close
to bumping or jostling him, and he sneered with distaste as he noted the manner
of dress that these men seemed to think appropriate for the launching of a
Keeping his eyes straight ahead, mostly in order to avoiding looking over the
rail at the deep blue sea below, Spike concentrated on his negative assessment
of the impropriety of fashion as he made his way aboard the waiting, floating
He lamented that gone were the days of men in white suits and matching shoes
and fedoras. Replaced by what seemed to be an understood uniform of sleeveless
tank tops and denim shorts cut so short that the tips of their front pockets poked
out of the legs and their butt cheeks hinted when they bent over. Which they
seemed to find the need to do often.
He prayed that there were plenty of fire extinguishers on board considering
the amount of flaming going on.
Continuing on at an unhurried pace, Spike shook his head in disgust as he recalled
with pride and gratitude that his own companion was much more modestly attired
in a crisp black tee and a pair of knee length olive green shorts. The ones with
large pouches on the sides of the legs to hold all of Spike's wipes and gloves.
Functional AND attractive.
Suddenly, the thought of Xander brought Spike to reality and he realized with a
surge of terror that he had lost sight of his partner. Tossing aside his uppity shell
like a forgotten peanut, Spike rushed ahead, his head snapping from side to side
and his eyes darting wildly, sorting through all the meaningless faces as he searched
for the only one who mattered.
"SPIKE! Hey! Over here!"
Despite the thunder of a thousand gay voices coming at him from all directions,
Spike had no problem finding and hearing the one he sought. Instantly, his
attention zeroed up, over and to the left where he spotted the familiar hand
waving and the smile bidding him on.
Xander was standing at the head of a long line of impatient men. He was talking
to two men in uniform and one small, perky blond girl. Forgetting his resolve to
emit an air of superiority, Spike grabbed the bag with both hands and he dashed
for where his lover stood waiting.
"Hey, there you are. This is Captain Marks, First Mate Bellows and the lovely
and very perky Mindy Mints, the activities director. They are welcoming us
aboard and giving us our cabin assignments."
Spike's face lit up at the presence and introduction to authority. He was bolstered
by the impeccable uniforms on the men and he dismissed the girl as a twit.
"Oh? Excellent! Excellent! Just the men I needed to see. I have a few questions
and issues that we might as well address immediately. As they say, no time like
the present. Now, Captain, what exactly is your system of waste disposal while
at sea? Surely it isn't ejected into the ocean. Do you have massive, contaminated
storage tanks? Well, naturally you would. I would be interested in seeing them
and where they are located in relation to the preparation of the food. Also....."
"OK, then. We are in #501. Sounds good. With this little map we shouldn't
have any problem finding it. Come on, Spike. We are holding up the line."
Xander gave his lover a rough and tumble shove that Spike found more than slightly
offensive, especially considering the cheer that rose up from the other passengers
"Now, see here!"
"The ship is full of pricks, Spike, don't act like another one."
Xander pulled Spike across the deck and over against one of the side walls. He
then dropped the bags he was holding and he took Spike's from him. Despite
knowing Spike's aversion to PDAs, Xander scooped the smaller man up and
planted a hot passionate kiss on his lips that could have melted even the coldest
of fish. Which Spike was and it did. When he let him go, Xander beamed.
"Oh fuck, Spike, this is going to be wonderful. The warm sun on our hot, hungry
bodies. No work. No problems. No inhibitions. Just you and me and...."
"And a thousand other fruity gay men fornicating in public and totally disregarding
all things decent and correct."
Xander's face lit up at Spike's comment.
"See! See, I knew once you got here, you would get into the spirit of things.
Come on, you sexy police chief. Let's find our cabin and maybe I'll show you
how a real B&E is handled."
Spike was given no opportunity for a snappy, sarcastic retort as Xander had
already gathered his luggage and shot off, blending into the milling crowds of
whooping men with groping hands. Spike skipped, side-danced, evaded and
avoided as he rushed to keep sight of his rapidly retreating boy.
When they entered a large steel door, Spike was slightly mollified to see that
the inner corridors were wide, spacious and brightly lit by crystal chandeliers
much like a luxury hotel. They were not the narrow, bug infested, dark and
ratty hallways he had envisioned.
Still, he was nowhere near the street corner of Concession and Cooperation.
Instead he lingered somewhere in the neighborhood of Wait and See. He
had kept a close eye on the time and knew there was still at least an hour
before the ship would pull up the plank and push away from the dock. He
could bolt before then and, if the cabin was as bad as he suspected, he would
be willing to jump and swim after.
"Here we are! #501! Come on, Spike, get over here and quit being a poop.
I want you to see this with me when I open the door."
Spike joined his lover and heaved a sigh of the put-upon. He watched Xander
swipe the key card and turn the handle. When the cabin door swung open,
Spike's eyebrows rose to his hairline and his mouth gaped. With no complaints,
insults or sarcastic bites, he stepped in.
The room was small, compact and, at least on the surface, appeared spotless.
The air was filled with the rich scent of citrus wood polish, and every metal
and glass surface sparkled and shined. Xander stood back with a huge grin
on his face.
Spike slipped on a glove and swiped his hand across the top of the flip-down
desk top. Nothing. The glove remained clean. He frowned and grunted. It
would take more than that before he was ready to concede. He continued to
circle the room and when he came to the bed, he stopped.
"AHA! Outrageous! The bed isn't even made! Call the management! Send
the maids! Heads will roll over this! I don't know what this trip cost you but
we will demand a refund immediately. Thank God we saw this before the ship
sailed. We shall voice our complaints loudly before we disembark!"
Xander ignored Spike as he continued to rant and rave. He calmly opened one
of their suitcases and he removed a package of sheets. He had packed them
next to the cans of disinfectant and the cleaning supplies.
"Calm down, Spike. I knew you would never sleep on strange sheets. I brought
a set of 1200 count Egyptian. Still sealed. When I made the reservations for
this trip, I did it with you in mind and the ship's staff have been very agreeable.
Let me prove it."
Xander took a surprised Spike by the hand and led him to the far corner of the
small cabin where they stood in front of another closed door. When Xander
reached for the polished brass handle he gave the order.
"Close your eyes."
Spike did as he was told. This had to be a bathroom. He knew in his fear-filled
heart that this was a bathroom. A shudder wracked his body as he braced
himself for the worst. Xander opened the door and nudged Spike to step
forward. There Spike stood, eyes still closed, and he waited for Xander's next
move. Xander grinned and said. "Take a deep breath."
Spike did, and when the overwhelming stench of bleach hit his nose with enough
strength to burn out his sinuses, his eyes filled with tears. Not from the seared
nasal passages but from the effort and consideration Xander had shown. He
spun around and threw his arms around the most wonderful boy in the world.
"I love you, Xander."