Rating: Adult for language and sexual content
Disclaimer: The Bee owns none of the characters or products named
in this story, however the plot and words are her own.
Warning: Violence (nongraphic) and strong M/M sexual content.
Summary: OCD Spike is back! It has been a year since Xander and
Spike met in Rough Diamond and they have been living and working
together ever since. As an anniversary present, Xander takes a reluctant
Spike on a gay ocean cruise and everything, including murder, goes with
Appreciation to: Petxnd for her wonderful banner and patient preread
and to Silk_ Labyrinth for her beta. Any remaining boo-boos are the
result of the Bee's stubbornness.
Thanks to Petxnd for the wonderful banner and the faithful friendship.
Spike was feeling introspective.
He wandered about the cabin as Xander took a quick shower to rinse all the
chlorine from his hair and skin. He listened as his boy hummed, sang and talked
nonstop. Finally, when the water shut off, Spike called out.
"Xan, am I a pain in your arse?"
Xander poked his head out of the bathroom. He was vigorously ruffing his hair
with a towel and he was comfortably naked. He chuckled and answered with
his usual smile firmly in place.
"Only when you are on top."
Spike rolled his eyes. Did the boy take nothing seriously? Spike snorted and
sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Really, Xander. Is everything a joke to you?"
Xander paused at the look in his lover's eyes. The towel dropped from his head
and the smile from his lips. Padding across the carpeted floor in his damp bare
feet, Xander sat on the bed beside him.
"What's wrong, sweety? Did that little pip-squeak at the pool say something to
Spike studied Xander's eyes and all he saw was what he always saw. Honesty
and truth. Still, he wanted this out on the table. He wanted, no needed, to hear
what Xander really thought.
"We are very different, you and I. You are handsome, smart, easy going and....
experienced. Me? I am a flake. I have a dozen irritating quirks that you have
to endure and put up with. Don't you ever think about how much easier your life
would be if......"
Xander threw his arm around Spike's shoulder and pulled him close.
"Don't you dare finish that sentence. Yeah, you have a lot of phobic issues but
I knew that when you let me move in with you. I'm not a man of deep thought,
Spike, I leave all that up to you. I do know this much, you are so much more
than the sum total of all your odd quirks. You are the best man I have ever met.
You are decent, fair, honest and faithful and I love taking care of you because
you also take care of me. Why do you think it is that I can touch you, kiss you
and even roll you up in a sticky ball of orgasmic pleasure when you can't stand
anyone else to even come near you? It's because deep down in that place that
harbors all your phobias, you know we belong together. I love you and it is
just that simple."
Spike blinked. Xander had a way of cutting to the chase. He could weed through
all the undergrowth to find the one small diasy. He may not be a man of deep
thought but he was certainly a man of intense reason and logic.
It was exactly what Spike needed to hear. They were not Teddy and Juan. They
were Spike and Xander. Resolve and determination drove Spike to his feet.
"All right then. We still have six days to enjoy the fuck out of this cruise so what
do you want to do next?"
Xander jumped up. His smile was back and his hopes for a salvaged vacation
just jumped several points on the scale of possibility.
"Really? You really want to have fun? You want to give it a try?"
"I promise! I will set aside all my quirks and I will be the most normal person
on this floating den of inequity."
Spike scooped up the stack of brochures and he flipped through them. Some he
tossed to the side, some he actually took the time to study. Finally, he waved one
in the air triumphantly and with a pronouncement that sounded like Napoleon
planning the charge on Waterloo, he shoved it towards Xander.
"Miniature golf! We shall adjourn to the third level and we shall compete in a
rousing game of miniature golf and I feel obliged to warn you, I plan on giving
you a sound trouncing."
Xander scooped the smaller man into his arms. He was so proud of Spike he
could have shouted it from the uppermost deck. He knew what a sacrifice that
was for him but he wasn't going to ruin it by becoming emotional. Besides, it
might be interesting to see just how cooperative Spike planned on being.
"Great! Great! But, you know what? Before we do that, I am really hungry.
In fact, I'm hungry enough to pick the corn kernels out of a cow pie. So,
what say we head down to the second level to the shops and restaurants. They
have a small pasta place that sounds fan-fucking-tastic."
He then ignored the horror and uncertainties that flickered on his lover's face and
he jerked on some shorts and a tee. This trip may be wonderful after all. When
he was ready, he shoved open the cabin door and made a sweeping 'you first' motion
with his arm. Spike stepped forward then stopped.
"Um, yes. Well here's the thing...."
"I have plastic silverware and plenty of wipes for the golf clubs and balls."
"All right then! Caution be damned! Let's go eat!"
When they approached the Noodle Italiano, Spike was pleasantly surprised to
see that it was, at least on the surface, clean and presentable. After making a
quick inspection of the kitchen, a cheerful waitress named Pam led them to a
"We try to encourage our passengers to mingle and get to know others, so I am
going to sit you with these gentlemen."
Before Spike could object, he caught a glimpse of a warning from Xander and
with a strained smile, he sat down. With great flourish, he spread his napkin on
his knee and held out his hand. Xander handed him a set of plasticware. The two
men who were already working on their salads, smirked. When he was certain
Spike was set, Xander turned to the couple. One was dark and one was light.
Both were on the thin and lanky side and their comfort level indicated they had
been together for some time.
"Hi. I'm Xander. This is Spike." Three of the men shook hands. Spike did
Neither of the young men seemed to take offence at the snub. Instead, the
darker of the two took a swallow of his wine and grinned at his partner. He then
"Hi, Xander and Spike. I'm Keith Cheeks and this is my life partner Dave Butts."
The men then waited. Xander snorted first. Spike remained clueless.
"So that makes you Butt Cheeks. Right?"
The tablemates put their heads together and giggled.
"Right! And that means whenever we walk into a room, someone shouts "Butt
Cheeks" and then everybody has to drop trou and shine the moon."
Xander laughed and turned fully in his chair to face his lover.
"Hear that, Spike? Whenever you hear some one yell "Butt Cheeks" You have
to flash your bare ass."
Spike gave an odd strangled sound and blinked owlishly