Pairing : Spike/Xander
Rating : NC17
Summary: The words of a prophecy force Spike and Xander closer than they ever thought they would ever become but will it be close enough?
A/N : Inspired by plot bunny/challenge posted here: http://spanderfiles.com/grp/challenges.html
Lady Q: Write a story based on the meaning of Xander's name. Alexander means: Defender of Men and Warrior. So I would like to see a story based on the meaning of his name and Xander coming to understand it
With huge thanks to everyone who has commented on here – you have truly kept me going! This is the longest fic I have ever written, so I'm kinda proud of myself for finishing it, but I wouldn't have if I hadn't had the encouragement of you all. Hopefully, I did Lady Q's plot bunny justice.
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“Giles says Willow's settling in at the Coven really well, that they're considering loosening the binding spell”. Cradling her coffee cup, Buffy looked over at Xander who was tucking into a huge lunch. Since returning to work and college respectively, they had made a point of meeting up at least once a week during the day to spend time together and catch up without their respective vampires in tow. The loss of Willow was huge for both of them, and the knowledge that she might not return from England for quite some time made them both very aware of how important their friendship was.
Swallowing his large mouthful, Xander looked up and grinned. “Yeah, I got a letter from her – she sounds good. Promised me a whole heap of 'I'm sorry I tried to curse your husband' cookies again! I told her not to worry, just to put my name down on the betting pool for Giles and Leslie”.
“Come on, Buffy, don't tell me you didn't realise Giles and Leslie were getting serious?? D'uh, like Leslie couldn't have taken Willow back to England alone. You are so blind sometimes!” Laughing at the squicked look on her face, he took a long drink of his soda. “There's a pool going on at the Coven as to when they get hitched – I already scooped the pool on when they'd start doing the nasty!”
“What? Construction pays well but every little helps. Gotta keep my vamp in the style he's become accustomed to”. They both laughed at that. Spike had cashed in roughly half of the treasure he had found along with the Gem of Amara, and money was most definitely no longer a worry for any of them. Despite the lack of money worries,it had been a difficult six months for all of them - a major period of adjustment but they were starting to come out the other side.
Every day, Xander was learning more about himself – what he could do now that he and the hyena were fully integrated. And Spike was helping him a lot – training with him, letting him talk things through, believing in him. He hadn't realised how low his self-esteem and confidence was until he had someone who believed in him unconditionally – now he actually looked back and saw the good things he had achieved rather than calling himself the Zeppo and Donut Boy.
He still didn't feel worthy of the title “Defender of Mankind” - after all, he hadn't done even half of the things that Buffy had done – but Spike said there was time, they had nothing but time and no doubt there would be future apocalypses that Xander could and would help avert. The two of them were helping Buffy keep control of the Hellmouth whilst Giles was in England, regular visits from Angel and Wesley filling in any gaps.
“Any decisions about Deadboy?” He looked up at Buffy, aware that this was a sore topic of conversation. Spike had explained to him how difficult Angel was finding the situation, that he struggled every day not to try to impose his will on Buffy. Xander wasn't sure which way she would fall – there was little doubt that she loved Angel, it was obvious even to him and he used to be the biggest naysayer of their relationship. But love wasn't always enough and he feared what would happen.
Absentmindedly tearing her napkin into little pieces, Buffy avoided his gaze.
“I just don't know. I'm needed here – he's needed in L.A. I don't see how we can do the whole claimed thing and still take care of what needs taking care of”.
“Buffy..... that sounds like nothing so much as excuses. What is it – do you not trust him? What?”
“I just – I don't know Xander. There's something holding me back, stopping me making that final move. Maybe it's the whole Slayer/Vampire thing, maybe that part of me is rejecting it as wrong, perverse somehow? D'you know what I mean?”
“Yeah – yeah, I know what you mean. But Buff, you're gonna have to make up your mind and soon. Even I can see how on edge Angel is, and time is just going to make it worse. Try to remember, you're not just the Slayer, ok? You're a beautiful young woman as well, and you are entitled to life and love and all those things”.
She looked up at him with a tear in her eye.
“But I wouldn't have all those things would I Xander? I've lived longer than any other Slayer for decades, and it's like, what else is out there for me? Once I finish my course, I could actually do something with my life. Marriage, kids – what about all of that? I can't have that with Angel, not unless he gets Shanshu and we all know how reliable the PTB are”.
“Is that what you're holding out for? Marriage, kids and the white picket fence? Buffy – I know I said you're a woman too, but you are never going to be normal. It's just not going to happen. I'm not saying you can't have that, but what are the chances of you finding someone normal in your line of work?”
“I'm just so scared Xander. What if I make the wrong choice? If I do this – if I accept Angel's claim, that's it, done deal, no backing out. Doesn't that scare you – even just a little?”
“Honestly? No. It actually reassures me – Spike is never going to leave me voluntarily and I know he loves me. He's just – I dunno, don't laugh, just so determined to protect me – from everything. I know I'm safe with him, and it makes me so at peace. And he knows I'm never going to leave him and that I love him. It kinda removes a lot of the normal relationship bullshit fears – leaves the way clear to just be with each other”. The soft smile on his face made her wince, realising that she might never have that, even with Angel. She knew Xander loved all of Spike – the demon, the very proper English gentleman that was more and more in evidence lately, the Big Bad swaggering and posturing around. But she couldn't say the same about Angel, and that was what was holding her back. She looked up as Xander took her hand. “Buff, you gotta be honest – with yourself and with Angel. Talk to him, tell him what's holding you back. Before you lose him. He's fighting so hard for you, but he can't keep fighting forever, you know?”
She nodded, swiping at the tears she hadn't realised she was shedding. Yeah, she needed to talk to Angel. But she was so scared of what the result would be.
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Eyes glinting green, Xander leapt and tackled Spike to the ground, rolling with him until he had him tucked beneath his larger body, trapped.
“Oh ye – uh!” Grunting as Spike elbowed him sharply in the gut, Xander flinched backwards, losing his advantage and ending up tucked underneath his lover in a reversal of their positions! “No fair!!”
“Ah ah ah, luv, told ya before – no gloating til you know you've won!” Smirking in his face, Spike flipped Xander over onto his front and grabbed the length of rope he had tucked by the wall in preparation. Pulling Xander's arms behind him, he wrapped him securely from the elbows down so that he was unable to move his arms or struggle effectively. “OI!!” He lurched back from the vicious kick Xander aimed at his groin, slapping him sharply on the arse in retailiation. Jumping to his feet, he picked Xander up easily, throwing him over his shoulder and making his way through the warehouse to the bedroom.
They had found, purchased and remodelled the warehouse on the edge of Sunnydale, necro tinted glass everywhere making it safe for Spike to be in the sun without turning to dust, huge squishy sofas and armchairs scattered around along with soft rugs. The TV and hi-fi system was top of the range, although Xander took great delight in making fun of Spike settling down for his regular episodes of 'Passions' in surround sound.
The whole place was a sensualists dream of fabrics and textures, with tubes of lube to be found in many a nook and cranny since they made love wherever they happened to be.
Spike slapped him on the arse again, grinning as Xander yelled his objection. “To the victor the spoils, luv, and I am going to enjoy this. Got ya to myself for the whole weekend and I intend to keep you tied to the bed the WHOLE time and have my way with ya!” Xander wiggled happily, more than willing to go along with that plan.
Yeah, a whole weekend being fucked through the mattress and spoiled rotten by his gorgeous vampire. Who knew the words of a prophecy could work out so well for him?!