1) It was X/S they where together but not telling anyone and Xander thought it was because of Spike still liking buffy. There was a chapter where Xander tells Spike that he understand and if that is all he is going to get them that is fine he will live with that. Spike can't admit that he is in love with Xander because he thought that Xander wanted to keep them a secret but after Xanders big speach then they both come out and the gang I think where ok with it or they knew and where waiting for them to come out. I can just remember Xander telling spike that it was ok that he did not love him. It is not Family by Velvet Crypt (that can be found on the Spander Files and is really good)
2) This one was Anya and Xander have a baby (can't remember if they where married or not) and then Anya decides that it is all to hard and leaves Xander with the Baby, Spike moves in to help. Anya comes back saying she is ready to be a mum and Spike is worried that Xander is going to leave him but Xander tell Anya that Spike and Him are together now. I think it might have been a WIP I can't remember how it ended.
I know there is one that Faith is the mother of the kid and Spike is in a rock band and is AU and it's not that one (can't remember the name sorry) and also another one that is "how we ended up here" or something but Anya dies in that one (it to is also really really good!) I do remember the whole section with Anya coming back and saying she is ready to be a mother.
FOUND Fine Tuned http://www.angelfire.com/planet/rsk/arvs/finetuned.html
Hopefully someone can help me.
Thanks in Advance
I am going to x-post this to seeking_spike