Warning: sickness, mild angsting, m/m sexual relationship
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the computer I'm typing this on and am making no money. The fandom belongs to its respective creators and owners who *are* making money off them. I'm just doing this for my own fun and entertainment; in general, if you recognize something, I don't own it.
Beta: NONE! Any mistakes are mine, sorry
Summary: Based on a bunny from skuzzbopper: Xander's latest job is at a bakery. Spike loves pastry.
A/N: Before anyone thinks to say anything, yes Spike’s accent is all over in this chapter, I figured it kind of comes and goes, gets worse and better based on his emotional state (the more agitated, the worse the Mockney gets, the more desperate the proper English comes out). Long chapter; is it bad when there’s more smut than story? lol
“’What medicine?’ he says. Doesn’ call for help, no he’s got t’ tough it out on his own, like his friends won’ come running… then again I wouldn’ want Red hovering over me either if I felt like shite.” Spike had been pacing as he scrolled through the phone’s address book looking for Giles’ number, muttering the entire time.
Xander blushed slightly, unsure whether he should feel offended or not. “I am sitting right here, you know. I can hear you, Spike.”
Spike just waved away his complaints as he listened to the phone ring. As Giles answered and gave the standard shop greeting, he fought back a growl. His boy was sick, he had to find out how to make him better, he didn‘t have time to wait for the Watcher to get to the point. Okay, so he had time, just not patience. “’Bout bloody time! Oi, Rupes, the boy’s sick, what do I need to give him to make him better?”
Xander rolled his eyes and covered his face with his hands. ON the one hand it did make him feel all warm and fuzzy that somebody cared enough to go to the trouble of trying to fix him. On the other, Spike had no clue the can of worms he just opened.
Spike scowled as Giles responded, his voice raising and accent deepening in agitation. “Wot d’ ya mean, ‘What boy?’ Xander o’ course; how many other boys d’ ya know?”
Xander fought back a laugh; Spike had a point, only other “boys” Giles knew were Oz and Riley and they were both out of the picture now so who else would he be calling about. He sobered quickly though as the next thought came to him: maybe Giles just didn’t care enough to think of him at all. Considering how little attention the others had paid to him recently, it would certainly fit.
Sensing a sudden burst of anguish coming from his boy, Spike reclaimed his seat on the arm of the battered couch, letting his fingers comb through Xander’s silky hair as he sent him a questioning look, listening to Giles prattle on about doctors and such. He frowned as Xander refused to meet his gaze, though he didn’t pull away from his touch.
“Oi, Watcher, enough! Neither me or the boy got money for a doctor. Think I’d be wasting time talking t’ you if we did? ‘T’s why I called, just tell me what medicine will fix him. Huh? Oh, bad fever and pukin’ his guts up.”
At Giles’ next question, Spike had to fight the urge to crush the phone, how bloody clueless were Xander’s so called friends. Tucking the receiver between his shoulder and ear, he slid his hands down to cover his boy’s ears, as if he was a little kid he didn’t want hearing grown up talk…not too far from the truth actually. Ignoring Xander’s glare and feeble attempts to escape his hold, he spoke as softly as he could and still be able to be heard by the man on the other end of the line. “It’s Xander, Rupert. When have his parents ever given a flyin’ fuck about him unless he’s late on makin’ his next rent payment. Think, man!”
Scenting salt and embarrassment, he looked down at Xander’s flushed, miserable face, a glistening streak on each cheek betraying his silent tears. Apparently he had still managed to hear him. Feeling his heart clench at the silent suffering his boy was going through, he urged him to scoot forward a little on the couch before slipping over the arm to settle behind him. Pulling him back, he hugged him gently, rubbing his cheek against his hair absently as he listened to Giles prattle on.
Swallowing his pride, he interrupted the other man once more. “Please, Rupert, just tell me what to do to make him better. If he was a vampire, I’d just keep pouring blood into him until he healed, but that won’t work with him. I don’t know how to take care of a human anymore and he can’t do it himself right now.” Spike pulled the phone away and scowled at it before returning it to his ear, “What d’ ya mean, ‘Why do I care?’ Jus’ do, ya don’ need t’ know any more than that.”
Xander turned his head to look back at this unlikely caretaker. Spike looked, well worried; it was so strange. Well, worried and pissed, though he could just imagine what Giles said to prompt that last response from his bleached menace; probably accusing him of being after something or having some kind of nefarious plan. But he was practically begging Giles for help, for him. The Big Bad begging for help for the Zeppo, it wasn’t right. And when was the last time anybody had been that concerned about him; he couldn’t remember, but it was probably Willow and she was practically his sister.
“No! No mojo! Watcher, you tell Red No and make sure she doesn’t!”
Focused as he was on his thoughts, Spike’s sudden outburst startled him and he jerked away from him then had to focus on breathing to settle his stomach. Then the actual words sunk in and he spun around, practically straddling Spike’s lap as he scrambled for the phone, finally just dragging Spike’s arm closer so he could yell into the headset. “No! No, Giles! No, mojo! Do not let Willow start playing around, I’ll wind up with the plague or leprosy or something! I…I… oh shit, Spike, I think I’m gonna…” He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before Spike had him repositioned on the edge of the couch and was shoving the trash can into his hands.
Spike sighed and rubbed soothing circles on his boy’s back, apparently all the rapid movement was too much for his sick body to handle, and told the Watcher to call him back when he had an answer for him then proceeded to thank whatever deity listened to vampires that he didn’t need to breathe as Xander finished and collapsed weakly back on the couch.
Shaking his head at the pitiful sight, Spike sighed once more and set to getting his boy cleaned back up and tucked into bed. It was a statement to how bad the brunette was feeling that he didn’t even put up a token resistance, simply muttered the request for Spike to, “kill me now…put me out of my misery” repeatedly. He simply laughed as he tucked Xander back into bed and gave him a cocky grin. “But if I do that, I can’t take advantage of you later.” The shocked look followed by a blush and a shaky laugh was totally worth it.
In the end, Giles came through just like they both knew he would, even taking it upon himself to stop by and drop everything Xander might need off, saving Spike a trip…though it may have been more the thought of saving whatever unfortunate pharmacist Spike might have found to help him than any true benevolent thoughts towards the vampire. Regardless, by the next morning, Xander was medicated and back to eating dry toast and drinking weak hot tea and reveling in the experience of being fussed over for the first time in what felt like forever. Even when he was with Anya, she was more focused on her own new human condition to worry much about the little things that someone might like when they’re sick, simply plying him with whatever he needed to get him back to normal as quickly as possible so he could go back to giving her orgasms and making money.
One thing about being laid up sick, it gave him plenty of time to think about things, more specifically this thing with Spike. He looked over at the blonde that was starting to take up more and more of his thoughts, stretched out on the beat up recliner to nap, “just for a li’l while, can‘t expect a vamp to stay awake all bloody day and night, ‘specially after takin‘ care of a sickling.” Xander couldn’t help the soft smile that tilted his lips; even after all that bluster, Spike had still fussed over him to make sure he had everything he needed handy and told him several times to wake him up immediately if he needed him.
Spike said he cared about him, “probably more than he should“. Spike was there taking care of him while he was sick, cleaning up after him and keeping him fed and medicated and hydrated. But beyond that, it was the little things, like all the fuss before his nap, even refusing to leave the room Xander was in even though the bed would have been much more comfortable, and rubbing his back while he was puking up his guts, the gentle way he bathed and dressed him without making it any more awkward or embarrassing than it had to be. And once again, he thought Dru was a complete idiot for giving that up for some slimy chaos demon and hoped she was never able to get the slime out of her beloved dollies’ hair for the pain she put his Spike through. Though, he certainly wasn’t arguing with the outcome, he’d never felt so special, so…loved.
Oh, he’d loved both Cordy and Anya, and they’d said they loved him, but it was the first time he’d ever really felt like the other person might be telling the truth. To be fair, he knew Cordy did care about him, the disaster that was the end of their relationship wouldn’t have been as bad as it was if she hadn’t, but how can you feel really loved if your partner feels she needs to hide you from the people she knows. And Anya, she was just re-learning what it meant to be human and he was willing to help her. Really, he’d been much more of an experiment in human relations than a real boyfriend, maybe that was why she’d left him for a chaos demon too.
But the question was, could he handle being in a relationship with Spike? He’d never thought of himself as bi much less gay, and now he was seriously considering following through on Spike’s…what, offer? Announcement? Either way, this was a whole new path to potential failure and embarrassment and was he really willing to go through that?
He looked at the sleeping blonde critically, starting at the bleach blonde hair that he knew from their time spent living together, curled gently when not gelled into an inch of its unlife and wondered what it would be like to run his fingers through it; he certainly had enjoyed it when Spike did it to him. Next were the closed eyes that he knew to be the most amazing shade of blue and reflected back to his dazed thoughts in the tub about them looking like priceless gemstones. He’d had those eyes trained on him in suspicion and anger and amusement in the past, now he’d seen them full of caring and something even deeper maybe. He thought about how they seemed to sparkle and flash when he was pumped full of adrenaline after a good fight, thought it would probably be what they’d look like in the heat of passion.
Next were those amazing cheekbones, so angular and sharp, like they could cut you if got too close, and the soft pink lips that had pressed against his forehead, and wondered what it would be like to trace the sharp angles with his tongue, to press his own lips to his. Next, and certainly not least in any way, was the lithe body, containing so much strength and power, pared down to lean muscle with no hint of fat or curves anywhere…well except for his ass, which Xander could admit to having checked out least once during the past day, simply out of curiosity…really. No, there was no mistaking the man in front of him for anything except that. And thanks once again to their time spent living together, not to mention Spike’s own lack of anything resembling modesty, Xander knew he was quite well, um, equipped as well, the thought of which, and the reason he might be taking interest now, brought on what felt like a full body blush not to mention making him squirm and argue with himself that he was definitely too sick to be taking full notice. What happened after he felt better was another matter.
Lastly, he couldn’t help looking at the hands that were resting on the arms of the recliner, long slender fingers, almost delicate looking…artist’s hands he’d heard someone say once. And as he remembered some of the stories he’d heard about Spike’s pre-vamp life, he saw how the phrase seemed to fit him, could imagine the fingertips stained with ink as he spilled his heart out onto paper. He knew Spike was strong, he could easily lift Xander though his larger size made it awkward, and he’d been grabbed and thrown around back in their early days, but his touch had been so gentle while he took care of him, cleaning him, soothing him as he was sick and he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to feel those hands on him in other ways, to feel them glide over his skin teasingly, tracing his contours, seeking out every hidden erogenous spot, bringing him towards…
“No! Too sick! Way too sick for this!” Xander covered his brightly blushing face with his cooler hands and focused on slow breaths while he thought of anything that could bring his libido back under control - research, tests, his parents, principle Snyder. A sleepy voice had him peeking through his fingers.
“Mmm, luv, though I can certainly appreciate the effects, ‘t’s kinda hard to sleep with you flooding the room with pheromones. ‘Specially when you’re right and you’re way too sick to follow through with anything.” Spike opened his eyes, turning his gaze towards his blushing, and apparently quite aroused, boy.
Xander swallowed hard, staring into those bright blue eyes that seemed darker, a lot more predatory, all of a sudden as Spike slipped gracefully from the recliner and stalked the few steps over to the couch to crawl onto it, straddling Xander’s lower legs and essentially pinning him in place.
“Now, luv, care to share what’s got you feelin’ all hot and bothered all of a sudden? I slip off into dream land and wake to find you talkin’ to yourself and smelling like…a dream.” Spike’s lips quirked at his humor.
Xander was caught on the edge of praying for the ground to swallow him up, you never really quite wanted to go there in the ‘Dale after all, but the sentiment was there at least. How was he supposed to tell Spike that it was thoughts of Spike that had him horny? Biting his lip, he looked nervously around the room, trying to ignore the feeling of Spike sitting on his legs…the feeling of Spike suddenly covering him with his own body. He eeped and brought his startled gaze back to meet blue eyes that were suddenly in front of his own, felt his heartbeat speed and tongue dart nervously over his lips as he sucked in a surprised breath.
Spike’s eyes widened in surprise. He’d simply leaned over the reclining boy to capture his attention since he seemed unwilling to look at him, though he was careful to keep his weight braced on his hands on the arm of the couch above Xander’s hands. He’d thought his boy had possibly started to nod off thinking about his demon bint, but no, he was wide awake and from his reaction, thinking of… “So that’s the way it is? Been thinking’ ‘bout things while I was sleepin’? Guess, you’ve made some kind of decision, or at least your body has. Wish you coulda picked a better time though, luv, as you said, you really are too sick for anything physical. Though I’ve been waitin’ this long, I’ll wait as long as you need me to.” His voice dropped as a thought struck him and he gazed into those deep brown eyes, searching for the truth. “O’ course, that is assuming it was me you were thinking of, if not, I’ll feel a right fool.”
Xander sucked in a shaky, nervous breath, seeing the heat, and uncertainty, in the deep blue gaze. It was that uncertainty that did him in. Reaching a hand up, he gently ran his fingertips along Spike’s jaw, marveling at how soft his skin felt and steeled his nerve. “Yes, it was you I was thinking of, Spike; no one else. I was trying to figure out if I might be able to return your feelings; never thought of myself with a guy, after all. I mean, I already like you as a friend, and I think I probably could like you in the…the boyfriend sense, but that’s all emotions. I wasn’t sure about the physical part, cause we’re both guys and I know eventually if we were together it would have to go that way, right? And, well, I guess my imagination got a little carried away. Sorry to wake you up.”
“Ah, luv, you can wake me up that way anytime…once you’re better that is. For now, I guess ’t’s a cold shower for me.” Leaning down slightly, he hesitated for a moment before placing a soft, chaste kiss on his boy’s full lips and crawled carefully off the couch, not so subtly adjusting himself as he stood.
“No, Spike, don’t do that! I mean, you hate the cold, and it’ll take you forever to get warmed back up if you do that.“ Xander looked up at him, blushing and nervous and pushed himself up until he was sat upright. “Maybe…maybe we could go lay down on the bed together again?”
Spike groaned softly, his boy was trying to kill him, that’s all it was. He was so hard it hurt, and that just from the way Xander smelled and the fact that he’d been thinking of him and gotten aroused. And now he wanted to go lay down in that nice big bed together. But, it wasn’t like he’d deny him anything either.
Xander didn’t know what he was thinking when he stopped Spike, though he was starting to get an idea as Spike helped him make his shaky way back to bed and they got settled down on top of the covers. The question was, was he brave enough to go through with what he had in mind? He looked over at Spike as he shifted restlessly, the tight denim obviously uncomfortable, but he merely sat there next to him, trailing those wonderful fingers through his hair again, denying himself because Xander asked him not to. How could he not reward that. “Spike? I was thinking…um, since you’re so uncomfortable and everything why don’t you, you know, take care of it? Those tight jeans can’t be comfortable like that.”
Spike blinked in shock, sure he didn’t hear what he thought he just heard. “Let me get this straight, you don’ want me to take a cold shower, but you do want me to wank? Guess a hot shower wouldn’ be that bad, but I thought you wanted me to lay down here with you? Startin’ to get as barmy as Dru, luv.”
Xander’s fading blush quickly returned. “No, well yes, that is what I meant, but not in the shower. Why not do it here? I mean, unless you don’t want to of course, I just kinda thought maybe, well, we could see how comfortable I might be with all this, and since I can’t really do anything right now, you could though, and I could watch? And it’s a stupid idea I know, and I’m going to shut up and die of embarrassment while you go take a shower.”
Spike darted down and stole a lingering, though still chaste, kiss, effectively silencing his boy. He’d have to remember that method in the future. “Xander, luv, I just want t’ make sure of what you’re asking before I do something to mess up whatever this is we’re trying t’ start. You want me t’ stay here and wank, in front of you, so you can watch and see if you’d be comfortable with doin’ something with a bloke?” At Xander’s hesitant nod, Spike grinned and rewarded him with another brief kiss, whispering against his lips, “Can’t tell ya how hot that is, you watchin’ me get off while I think of all the lovely things I want t’ do t’ you one day.”
Xander sucked in a shaky breath, Spike’s whispered words seemingly going straight to his still hard cock, his tongue darting nervously out over his lips, catching the lingering taste of cigarettes and liquor that was so essentially Spike. He wanted this to happen, but he didn’t know how he was going to make it through it without losing his mind. Spike and rage and anger and fighting just seemed to go naturally together. Spike and sex…that should be an illegal combination, it was completely sinful to just think about, much less watch.
Spike slid from the bed and gathered up a small mound of pillows and cushions to pile at the foot of the bed, laughing softly at Xander’s confused look. He grabbed the end of his shirt, starting to pull it off before pausing, looking to Xander to gauge his reaction, thinking he might not quite be ready to see everything all at once. But Xander merely nodded, a little slowly, and the smile he offered was a little shaky, but it was there. Smiling he pulled off his shirt, tossing it carelessly to the floor before reaching for the straining fastening of his jeans. Once again, he paused, waiting for Xander’s instructions, and at the hesitant nod, carefully undid the button and zipper, sighing in relief as his aching erection was freed. Letting the denim slither its way down his legs, he stood next to the bed, letting Xander look his fill. True, his boy had seen him naked in the past, but that had been different, that had been him trying to get a reaction out of the nervous Scooby that was reluctantly giving him a place to live. This time, it was giving his future lover time to adjust to the situation, to get to know him.
Xander knew he was damn near panting just from watching the impromptu strip show, but gods, what a show. His memory of Spike’s body hadn’t done it justice, lean and muscular, pale pink nipples that were already pebbled in the cooler air of the room, the darker blonde hair that trailed from just below his navel down to…and there he had to stop for just a moment. It was one thing to catch a glimpse while Spike was coming out of the shower and about to get dressed, this was looking for the sake of looking, getting to know what he would potentially be coming very intimately acquainted with. And after several long moments of thought, he decided he was okay with that.
So he looked. And his memory had been pretty right on that aspect of Spike’s body, he was quite well equipped - pale skin flushed a bright rosy pink, long and, while not quite as thick as Xander’s own cock, still impressive. Fingers twitching with the urge to reach out and touch, he clenched his hands, not quite ready to go there yet, not until he could be a fully active participant. Dragging his gaze up the muscular torso, he met the amused gaze of his…boyfriend? Seemed like such a tame word for someone like Spike.
“Like what you see, luv?” The dazed look on Xander’s face as he had taken his time looking him over made him feel invincible. He hadn’t missed those twitching fingers either and had to bite back a groan at the thought of feeling them run over his body. As excited as he was, things might not be lasting that long at the rate they were going. Climbing onto the bed, he made himself comfortable, leaning back against the pile of pillows so the two of them could easily watch each other.
Wiggling slightly to get comfortable, he spread his legs out, his hand falling to his lap, fingers starting to trail slowly up and down the throbbing shaft. “Do ya want me to tell ya what I’m thinking’ of while I do this? Or do you want me quiet, ready to take orders?” Spike grinned as he caught the small burst of pheromones at that suggestion, something to keep in mind for down the road.
“Tell…” Xander’s voice broke and he coughed, his gaze riveted on those long, slender fingers trailing up and down the flushed shaft. “Tell me?”
Brushing his fingertips over the head, he collected the pre-cum that was oozing steadily from the tip before running them back down his shaft, repeating the motion several times before finally beginning to stroke his cock slowly, letting his mind wander even as his gaze staid locked on the flushed and panting features of his boy. “I can see us like this, both naked though, you crawling up my body little by little as you kiss your way up over my chest, stopping to bite at my nipples, my neck, while your hand slips between our bodies, wrapping around both our cocks, smearing our pre-cum over them both as you start to stroke them together.”
Spike paused, biting his lip as he watched Xander start to unconsciously rub his hand over his flannel enclosed erection, and had to drag his mind back to his tale. “I’d add my hand to yours, sliding and stroking along side yours. Can you imagine it, hot and cold hands against cold and hot throbbing flesh, though my skin would keep getting hotter just from being in contact with you, and you’d be so hot. Just like you are now, hot and throbbing and smelling better than any dessert.”
He started stroking faster, tugging the foreskin up over the head with every couple strokes, teasing himself with the different feelings. He could swear he could feel the weight of Xander’s gaze against his skin, wished his little fantasy could be real, but it had to wait, he knew that. And yet Xander sat in front of him, absently rubbing and squeezing at his erection as he watched Spike, he could see the growing wet patch staining the pants where it rubbed against the head and had to restrain himself from leaning forward and tasting. He could feel his features trying to change as he watched the unintentionally erotic sight in front of him and fought it, not wanting to ruin there moment together, only to have Xander’s voice catch him off guard.
“Go ahead, Spike. I know what you are, you won’t scare me. And if…if we’re going to do this, it’ll happen eventually. Let me see all of you.”
Spike was shaken to his core, unable to believe that Xander actually was okay with it, accepted him, allof him. Relaxing, he let the change happen, felt his facial features shift, felt his fangs drop, and watched everything taken on a whole new richness as his eyes changed. Afraid of what he’d see, his hand pausing in its movements, he looked up at Xander, only to see acceptance and desire. He truly wasn’t bothered, and Spike once more felt invincible. Pushing himself up, he darted forward, straddling Xander’s legs and claiming his mouth in another kiss, careful not to nick him with his fangs. Pressing their foreheads together, Spike spoke softly, voice husky. “You are so amazing, Xander. When you’re better, when we’re able to be together properly, I’m going to take you every way you’ll let me, I’m going to rub my cum into your skin and mark you so every demon in the whole damned Hellmouth knows who you belong to.”
He raised his free hand to rest over Xander’s racing heart, his other hand stroking his cock as hard and fast as was comfortable and buried his face against his neck, feeling one of Xander’s hands bury itself in his hair, keeping him pressed close as if giving permission to… Shifting back to human, he bit down over the thundering pulse point, sucking hard as he suddenly came, his hips bucking as he coated his hand and stomach with his cum. Hearing his name shouted suddenly, Spike jerked back in alarm, only to grin at the happily dazed look on his boy’s face and the large wet spot on the front of his pants.
Capturing Xander’s gaze, he brought the boy’s hand up to his mouth and began to lick it clean, moaning as he finally got a small taste of him. Noticing the livid purple mark on the side of Xander’s neck now, he winced though and gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry ‘bout that, I kinda got carried away but I was tryin’ to be careful.”
Xander gave him a lazy smile, pressing a finger to Spike’s lips to silence him. “No, I wanted it. I um, I liked being marked like that, just always made sure Anya kept them where my clothes would cover, but what you said… Gods, Spike, that was so hot, it shouldn’t be, you scent marking me basically, but we can’t right now, and I’m totally thinking I’m not going to have a problem with the whole sex thing in the future, but at least you could leave some mark, cause I know your demon really wants to, and the thought of you bighting me while we’re having sex is actually kind of really hot too, and…”
Spike laughed and kissed him again, a closed mouth, lingering, careful kiss, even after everything that had just happened, and especially after, he didn’t want to risk triggering Xander’s sickness again, but it was an effective way of stopping the babbling. “Yes, my demon wants to claim you, find I’m getting kind of possessive about you, pet. And I’m glad you don’t mind being marked because I can pretty much guarantee it’s going to happen again, and in lots of different places. And I promise, once we’re together and sure of what’s happenin’ between us, I’ll mark you just like I said then clean you up a little, dress you up a lot and take you out on the town to show you off. What d’ ya think o’ that?” Spike’s grin grew at the dazed look on Xander’s face and couldn’t resist pushing him just a little further, who knew the Scooby would like carrying someone’s mark so much. Voice dropping back to a husky whisper, he leaned forward to nuzzle Xander‘s ear. “An’ the first time we make love, when I’ve got my cock buried as deep in your perfect ass as I can, and you’re writhing in my arms and begging me to cum, I’ll bite you, sink my fangs slowly into your neck and just as slowly start to drink, each pull on your blood feeling like it’s going straight to your cock…”
“Enough! Enough, oh gods, too sick, way too sick, no fair teasing, Spike, you make me want it all, and I can’t right now, but as soon as I’m better and…just not now.” Xander was panting, feeling his cock twitch again in renewed interest at the words that sinful voice spun around him. So much for not knowing if he was going to be able to have sex with a guy…maybe he was just Spikesexual, that would explain a lot.
Spike chuckled and looked down at the two of them, wrinkling his nose. “We’re a mess, pet, looks like it’s time to get cleaned up again. What do you say to a nice hot shower…together?” Xander’s repeated claims of, “too sick, this sucks,” had him laughing all the way to the bathroom, at least until he had a naked, wet, soapy Xander in his hands, then he started to agree whole-heartedly.