God damnit I'm Zeek (new_unchanged) wrote in bloodclaim,
God damnit I'm Zeek

Today's update 11 of 28

Author: New_Unchanged
Title: The Vamp Who Blocked His Own Shot
Chapter: Day 11 of 28 of my Songfic Challenge, 2 of 5 of Brand New Series
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG 13, Nothing Exciting, but I use harsh language
Concrit: Comments only
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, the lyrics to the songs, or anything else.
Warnings: M/M Paring, but this is a Spander Community so....
Summary: Spike begs
Notes: The Song used for this day is The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot- Brand New
Beta(s): None, I slacked off on vacation.

Challenge: Write a Songfic a day for the entire month of February. Based on a prompt from Lady   Q: Write a story or a series of stories based on the 25 most played songs on your ipod. Songs can be shuffled or in order up to the writer.

Author’s note: Originally written as a nonSpander story. Tweeked it

"Spike I love you! You asshole, you're the one I wanted."

"I love you Xan, I didn't know…"

So much time has passed since then- three weeks to be exact. Three weeks ago I missed the chance of almost two years.

Anyone who feels like an utter shite raise their hand.This chip is affecting my brain. I never used to feel bad about taking what I wanted.

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.
I hope you find out what you want.
I already know what I am.

He won’t even look at me. He doesn’t go out after patrols. He barely even shows any energy..

I fucked up so bad this time.

Part of it’s his fault… I mean, if he’d have just shown that he reciprocated some of the feelings I was throwing at him for months.

Who am I kidding; I’m a selfish, blind, asshole.

And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.
I'll grow old and start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.

Look I know I did a very horrible thing, but I was so angry with you. I wanted revenge…
I longed for you so long and well, I thought you would never notice how I felt, and if you did, you’d never feel the same. You’re always talking about how you hate Vampires. Plus, you know EVIL.
I thought if I couldn’t make you love me I’d make you hate me.

You don’t even need to say it; I know I’m a bloody pillock.

Yeah, despicable came to my mind too.

Look I’ll do anything to get a second chance. Even if we can’t be romantically involved, we could still be friends.

Couldn’t we?

We could start over, a new life…

A crown of gold.
A heart that's harder than stone.
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.

I’ll treat you like a king.

I understand that you’ve had to harden up you heart since… that night.

I know I hurt you deeply, but I’m prepared to make that up and so much more. Just because I fucked up, doesn’t mean you should throw your heart away, I’ll help heal it.

Damn it Xan, I’m on my fucking knees!! I understand how you feel, now stretch that out over two bloody years.

That’s how long I’ve needed you, that’s how long I waited.

Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

No I really don’t think you should bet on me pulling shit like that again. Call it a crime of passion…

It’s not enough that you forgive me.

You told me you loved me. Now you have to deal with the fucking well you opened up.

Forget that… It’s in the past. I want to be your future.

If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state.
You can keep to yourself.
I'll keep out of your way.

I’ll do anything you want so we can get through this. I’ll give you time I’ll stay away.

Just promise you won’t become a hermit again.

Yeah, I do think you should fall in love with someone else, if you can’t love me…

And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.

I’ll remove every trace of myself from your life, but I won’t remove you from mine.

Fuck, I’ll leave Sunnydale if it’d get you back to being yourself.

It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room,
When I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.
So call it quits or get a grip.
Say you wanted a solution.
You just wanted to be missed.

I’m beginning to think you just want to see me beg.

Yes I’m laughing at you, and myself I guess.

Well, less than a month ago you told me you loved me then all but disappeared.

Yeah, I think it’s ludicrous, but it’s so insane it’s daffy.

No I didn’t call you a duck.

No I think Tom would make a better Daffy Duck.

Yeah Anya does remind me of Daffy.

You are calm and reposed.
Let your beauty unfold.
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones.
Spring keeps you ever close.
You are second hand smoke.
You are so fragile and thin.

God you’re magnificent even when you’re miserable.

No I’m not blowing smoke up your arse, I was saving that for the make-up sex.

You have this raw beauty. The strong brow, your tan skin, the muscular frame, and that natural hairstyle.

Yes I do think you’re gorgeous.

Natural hairstyle, which could be defined as the fluffy brown mess on your head.

No it looks good.

Standing trial for your sins.
Holding onto yourself the best you can

You wouldn’t be losing your resolve by giving in; you would be subdued by my irresistible charm.

Oh I’m not? Thanks! ::Chuckle::

You are the smell before rain.
You are the blood in my veins.

Even if you can live without me, I can’t live without you.

Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.

Why do you keep saying “I bet”, or “I guarantee”, I’m not that predictable, am I?

How do you figure?! You weren’t expecting me to beg for forgiveness, and I did.

I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

As I lean down to kiss you, and I say a silent prayer, that this time I don’t land on my ass.

There goes that idea…
…at least this time you’re down here with me.

Now that we’ve made up,  can we talk about make-up sex?


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