God damnit I'm Zeek (new_unchanged) wrote in bloodclaim,
God damnit I'm Zeek


Title: Somebody to Love
Rating: T'
SOng for the day: Somebody to Love
Author: New_unchanged

Xander: What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay.
Willow: What?
Xander: You heard me. Just tell me what to do. I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula right now. That's a start, isn't it?
Andrew Wells: [wistfully] Captain Archer...
Xander: Come on, let's get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here.
Buffy: What if you just start attracting male demons?
Dawn: Clem always liked you.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief,
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

“Fine, no gaying me up, but how about a set up? A nice normal blind date? I can trust you guys not to set me up with a demon right?” Xander whined.

“Well not on purpose anyways.” Buffy snerked.

“What’s wrong with demons? I thought we had a long and fruitful relationship until you stood me up at the altar. That was your fault not mine. I am still open to dating humans” Anya tiraded affronted.

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

“Throwing in the towel so soon?” Willow asked.
“Well given Xander’s track record, I can safely say that this might be for the best”, Giles remarked.

“That’s not fair, don’t Xan deserve somebody to love?” Willow replied.

(He works hard)

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

“Thank you Willow, You know I’ve taken more runs around the romance track lately than anyone else and I can’t seem to find the one.”

“Maybe a setup isn’t a bad idea.” Buffy said.

“Well we need to find him someone who is strong enough to protect him. We also need to find someone who has a lot of stamina as Xander has a very high sex drive.” Anya added.

“Xan, how serious before when you wanted to have me ‘gay you up”?” Willow asked.

“About 50/50. I am more penis ambivalent than anything else.”

Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!

“What about Spike, you always said he was strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled. Plus the hate has seemed to go out of your relationship.” Buffy said with a giggle.

“Oh, he’s quite good in bed too.” Anya said.

“At least he won’t tie me to his torture wheel.” Xander dead panned.

“Not on the first date anyway” Spike commented from the doorway.

Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

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