Archived at: http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=rngrdead
Rating: Mature Audiences – for content and themes
Summary: Xander has PTSD after rescuing one too many slayers. Spike is recovering (sort of) after the battle with W&H. Fate may have it they eventually find each other - she's funny that way.
Spoilers: Sometime in season five AtS – and possibly late seven BtVS.
Warnings: M/M – if you don’t like boys together, don’t play here!
Disclaimer: Don’t own the characters nor make any money from stories etc, and bow down to their original creators Joss, et al., plus all the wonderful online writers who continue to give the Buffy/Angel verse characters life.
Spike woke around daybreak, unusual for a vampire to say the least but totally understandable as he smelled salty tears and detected quiet sobbing. He was spooning Xander from behind so wound his arm further around the broad back and pulled the man closer. When the crying didn’t abate, he focused on the heartbeat he could feel against his chest and listened for signs of altering distress levels, at the same time becoming aware that the brunette was likely still asleep, therefore caught in some emotional upset unknown.
He did the only thing he could think of without shocking Xander by waking him mid nightmare, the same strategy that he had used with Drusilla across a century of madness and disturbing dreams. He began a low rumbling purr, and stroked the torso under his arm rhythmically.
The near silent tears abated eventually and Xander seemed to settle. Just as Spike began to drift back into slumber he was slammed into full awareness by an almighty jolt apparently passing through every muscle of Xander’s body, with accompanying terrified cry of “No!!!”
Spike did not relinquish his grip on his friend, rather, he pulled Xander back hard against his bed-warmed chest and whispered, “Xan?” then louder “Come on pet, come back to me here. Come on…”
After several very long minutes Xander twisted in Spike’s grip until they were nose to nose, where upon the ex-Scoobie buried his face to the cool neck, tangled their legs again and made a valiant effort to make some sense of his world as it stood, as opposed the horrid flashbacks of conflicts, injuries and devastating losses. The nightmares were familiar, the comforting, safe, strong arms of a dear friend holding him was new.
Spike registered the moment the tears stopped and Xander’s return to full awareness. He lifted the face he was cared for, no, loved, so much. He stared into the still wet brown eye and the scar where the other had been in wonder. He loved the man in his arms. The when and why didn’t matter really, he just knew with his whole being that it was true.
Xander blinked several times, taking in the beautiful features and the azure blue eyes that held such affection, concern and understanding. No one had ever quite looked at him in such a way. In that moment he almost wished he could dive in and drown happily in their depths. And in that moment he also knew, without a doubt, that he was lost to all others. He wanted Spike, needed him, craved him… loved and adored him. A nasty part of his mind screamed at him that he was unworthy, broken, inadequate… another part cried that it was too soon, that he should listen to his therapists and not add complications so early in his ‘recovery, that Giles and others would not approve. But as a cool hand reached up and stroked his cheek, and a chaste kiss landed on first the tip of his nose then ghosted over his lips, all his internal voices to the contrary were silenced. He knew, in his gut he was certain, he loved the blonde in his arms, it was out of his control, he just did.
A low baritone rumbled, “There you are, pet. OK now?”
Xander gave a hitched sigh, found Spike’s hand and interlaced their fingers, finally finding his voice, “Yeah, I’m good.” He squeezed their joined hands, “Really good…Thank you. I… um… I was going to… just… thanks.”
Rather than articulating his thoughts, Xander leaned in and claimed a kiss. This time it swiftly changed from sweet and tender to intense and wanting, tongues tangled and hands wandered until they broke apart smiling and panting.
“Mighty nice thank you pet.” Spike’s hand snaked down to stroke the brunette’s obvious erection between them. “Reckon you’re up to a bit of a play ‘fore we…” At that moment, the buzzer for the door downstairs sounded loudly. “Oh bloody hell!”
Xander had already pulled away and up frantically attempting to pull on some sweat pants. “Shit, it’s probably Sahil or someone with the groceries. I’ll just… s%$ my shirt’s next door…”
Spike lay back down and looked at the ceiling as Xander flew out the door and downstairs to see to their delivery. The moment of passion may have been lost for now, but Spike knew something worth waiting for had begun. He was sure of the look in Xander’s eye before they kissed, a mixture of wonder, lust and longing… and the spark of something more, he was sure of it. At least he felt hope that… but he would let Xander dictate the pace if there was to be more, they were to be more to each other.
There was a short conversation at the door downstairs and a rustling around and slamming of doors in the kitchen. Spike was up and pulling on his jeans when Xander arrived back at the bedroom, taking in the scene and smiling ruefully.
“Oh well, timing plus on the interruption… I’ll just go get changed I guess. You said we were going shopping today, yeah?”
“That was the plan. Gonna beg a raincheck on earlier though. Get the errands seen to an’ hopefully you seen to good ‘n proper after that.” He gave Xander a lascivious grin and was rewarded with a genuine snort of laughter.
Breakfast was consumed quickly and the two were out the door within half an hour and heading for Oxford Street.
Just over four hours later had Xander dumping the numerous bags he had been carrying on the lounge room floor and flinging himself onto the nearest couch with a humph of relief. “Geez Spike. Where’d you learn to shop like that? I swear even Buffy and Dawn would have had trouble keeping up!”
“Come on Harris, wasn’t that bad.”
“Spike, I’ve got burgundy tips in my hair courtesy of some guy named Raoul, and I swear the store assistant at that men’s wear place had CCTV in the change rooms, the way he was looking at me when we paid for the stuff! And why did I say yes to tonight’s party again?” He tried to maintain his annoyance but failed dismally as Spike opened the fridge and bent over to retrieve two beers, wiggling his backside deliberately in plain sight.
The vampire then turned grinning and joined Xander on the couch, handing him the open beer in the process. “’Cause I’m the Big Bad an’ need a handsome consort on my arm to keep me reputation in tact, is why. That an’ I wouldn’t want to be there without you, not with you lookin’ like you do, all coiffed ‘n couture’d ‘n ready for anythin’. A right masterpiece in the making.” He finished the statement with a grin that sent shivers down Xander’s spine and all tingles to his groin.
Spike too had had a haircut, his longer dark blonde mop now replaced by a stylish short cut with sun-kissed blonde curls on top, not the bleach blonde of Sunnydale, rather it looked sophisticated and casual all at once. The perfect frame for the fine cheekbones and sparkling eyes.
Xander had indeed been ‘talked into’ having his hair styled and tipped though it had been left longer and the deep burgundy highlights only served to enrich the natural brunette colour. Spike thought he looked edible in all senses of the word and had told him as much in the salon, much to his embarrassment and ‘Raoul’s’ delight.
They finished their drinks without further comment, then bags were collected for delivery to their respective rooms. Xander was just about to hang up one of the four shirts purchased when he was grabbed around the waist and spun into a passionate (if a little surprised on his part) kiss by a very aroused, jeans only clad vampire.
Several minutes later clothes followed bags of purchases onto the floor as they took the activity to Xander’s bed. Slowing down only enough for Spike to grab the lube from his discarded jeans. The almost frantic start to their lovemaking resulted in Spike lying on his front and Xander still embedded inside him, soft and sated within minutes. There was a short lull before Xander pulled out with a satisfied sigh. Rolling to face each other he looked down, “Ghod, I’m so sorry! You didn’t even get to finish.”
Spike grinned, “Course I did, pet, vampire constitution is all…”
Xander’s good eye had a look of mischief, as a warm hand wrapped around cool shaft, “I know a place you could put that if you like.”
Like lightening, Spike bounced up, pushed Xander onto his back and was encouraging him to hold his knees while he covered two fingers with lube and prepared him.
This time their coupling was much slower, involving changes of pace and angle, many kisses and stroking and tiny bites. Eventually Xander was well beyond rational thought, his erection had found its ‘second wind’ and he began to beg in earnest. They both bit down hard on reciprocal neck junctures as joint climaxes hit, blood flowing and pulsing with their spend.
Two male bodies relaxed and dozed in a rather wet and sticky heap, but eventually Spike woke enough to register the approach of evening. He pushed up to sitting, Xander snuffled then blinked slowly to fully awake.
“Come on luv. Time we showered and shaved ‘n do our duty. The Lady Regina awaits.”
Xander sat up behind Spike, arms pushing around to hug him around the waist, and nibbled on the pale earlobe nearest his bite mark, “Care to share with your consort for the evening Master.”
It was nearly Spike’s undoing and resulted in another round of lovemaking in the thankfully large shower recess. Nevertheless, the two were seated in a cab and on their way to Four Winds, Weybridge within the hour.
As they turned passed the turn off to Heathrow Airport, Spike dug around in his pocket and turned to Xander. “Got somethin’ for you, pet. Two things actually.”
Xander, who had been watching the passing scenery, mind occupied by worries concerning the coming evening, turned with surprise. “What?”
“Here, give us your hand.” Xander duly held out his hand palm up, unsure what to expect. Rather than putting anything onto it, Spike fastened a thick gold chain around the wrist. Xander stared at the new jewelry then looked up at Spike in wonder.
“When did you get this?”
“In Oxford luv. Same time as I got this.” He produced a small felt covered jewelry box and opened the lid. Inside was a single round yellow gold earring with large black pearl drop.
“Thought it would do the trick, you with the patch ‘n all. Add to the mystery don’t you think?”
Xander looked very skeptical, “I think you’re forgetting something.”
“What’s that pet?”
Xander flicked his right earlobe, “My ear’s not pierced, so unless that’s a clip on, I don’t see how…”
Spike released his seat belt and had rounded on Xander in full game face, kissing him hard then licking a trail up his chin line and neck. Xander was busy worrying about what the taxi driver might be thinking and stifled a groan as Spike began sucking on his earlobe. He had just given up the notion of protest when Spike suddenly had him in a semi headlock, holding him fast and sliced a neat hole in the lobe with elongated canines. Xander gasped with the sharp pain, but held still as Spike growled, pushed the pin of the earring through the little hole then proceeded to lave the wound until it no longer bled.
By the time the vampire pulled away fully, reverting to his human guise as he did so, Xander was panting slightly and his pants felt tighter than comfortable. He gave Spike a rather murderous look, only to receive an unrepentant grin in return, accompanied by, “There. Problem solved. Looks a right treat too.”
Xander reached up and fondled the near round drop. The ear still throbbed a little, but Spike’s cool saliva had already begun to heal the tissue around the small hole.
“OK?! Maybe next time a warning? Or here’s a thought, I could have had it done professionally!”
Spike gave Xander a look of mock horror, “What? You sayin’ you’d ‘ave enjoyed some bint with a stud gun more ‘n me? Well, I’m right offended!” A pale hand darted over and gave Xander’s obvious erection a quick caress while kissing the flustered man and adding with a low growl, “Seems like you’re not too upset pet, hmm?”
Xander rolled his good eye and gave a put upon sigh, “You’re incorrigible!”
“And proud of it. But you love me anyway.”
“OK yeah, that too.” He wiggled in his seat uncomfortably.
Spike looked down at the obvious bulge and smirked, “Need some help with that, luv.”
“A world of no!” Xander threw his head back against the headrest and closed his good eye with a put upon groan, “Just let me sit here and think of something like a slime demon rather than my gorgeous evil boyfriend for a few minutes.”
More than satisfied, Spike relaxed back also and watched the world go by in silence.
As they approached Lady Regina’s home in Four Winds, Weybridge, there was a notable number of parked cars littering the narrow road between the row of obviously new luxury houses and the riverfront.
Spike grumbled under his breath, “Bloody hell, looks like half of London’s been invited. Typical.”
The house was as spectacular as it was new, two story contemporary design, all whites and huge glassed sections, and lit for maximum effect inside and out. It had a sweeping paved turning circle with four car garage open to provide more ‘sunlight challenged’ guests a safe entry as it was still an hour or so before true sunset. Rather than pulling into the shade, the taxi stopped mid circle Spike paying the driver then alighting into the pinkish-orange hues of the setting sun.
Xander paused and stared at companion for a moment in admiration, before adjusting his eye patch and tie, ensuring his white shirt was tucked neatly into new dress pants, then shrugged on his mid length jacket. The earring swung a little as he did so, giving the still healing ear a twinge as friendly reminder that this night was already special.
Spike had on a jacket, pants and shirt that almost matched Xander’s own, but the lining of his was silver and blue matching his amazing eyes where Xander’s had a rich burgundy (the colour of the highlights in his hair that had caused such a fuss when put in at the hairdresser). Where Xander was wearing a narrow black tie with thin burgundy stripe, Spike sported a waistcoat in the same silver blue as the coat lining, and had his shirt open exposing slender neck and ever present thick silver chain.
Xander’s breath hitched as Spike threw him a blinding smile and stalked in his direction, “You look like a wet dream pet. Have to keep an eye on you tonight or some rich biddie ‘l be snappin’ you up for her toyboy.”
Xander grinned a little and joined Spike to walk up to the front door as an obvious couple.